On the Birthday of our general something went wrong and after midnight from a drunk stripper came out a cake.

by Andrei Turin:
of AAAA!! to
On the planner one of the heads of the site brought a written explanation why he is not ready to accept at his site (this week) the pillars for the fence.
The chief engineer, such a solid uncle, took off his glasses, read. Then he raises his eyes at the head of the section and thinks like this:
- Igor Vladimirovich, and let us in the justification of the reason we will write with you not "to not spiz@or" for holidays, but, for example, "to not lose". How do you think?
Everyone is lying 😉

xxx: watched the series "Silicon Valley"?? to
YYY: I did not have)
Xxx: oooo, look at... funny, about the Aitishnikovs))
yyy: I am now in the process of "Walking Dead" - also somehow about programmers, only they did not pour coffee in the morning)

Radio technicians are divided into two categories: those who call the short switching a goat, and those who speak a short switch.

At home, everything is in its place. I would like to know where those places are.

In Bulgaria, there is a custom, starting from March 1st (the holiday "Baba Martha") to wear red and white wool-made jewelry-martiches. They are worn until there are signs that the spring has finally come.

A friend who lives in Bulgaria said:
My school daughter talks with an adult Bulgarian friend about martiniches:
Wear it until the end of March. You can also remove earlier if you see a flowering tree, straw or straw.
The stitch is what? - asks my daughter, who does not know the word "aist" in Bulgarian.
He is the one who brings the children. Did your mother tell you who brought the children?
and d.
Well who? - asks a Bulgarian friend, obviously waiting to find out how this bird is called in Russian.
Sex without condoms. Maybe I won’t look at it, but better wait to meet a blooming tree?

“You see, I said you won’t be arrested,” Serdyukov said.
Evgenia wanted to thank her, but her mouth was busy.

The counsel. The problem was the lack of toilet paper. Завхоз was justified by the fact that it makes no sense to buy because the paper is thrown home, into the family. The collective was born with the idea of replacing paper with a paint tape. Mole came in the morning with a blue ass - a small thief. The joke was a joke, but the director continued - "...left from work with no blue - worked little!"

XXX: There is a motorcycle in the cat. On the day when Adam came to him, he cried, "My Lord, I am depressed, and nothing will help me."

rolling on a round table. At Avalon, the newly cooked druids ask Merlin, "Why do you not like you so much?
I took the stones and forgot where I put them.
What kind of stones?
and Stonehenge.

But in a man’s life sometimes there are questions he needs to ask. Should fried peppers be cooked before frying, or can directly frozen peppers be fried?

I found some frozen semi-fabricates in the store.
CHEBUPELLI (I think, a mixture of cheburecks and peelmen).
The appearance is similar to small strawberries, the color is like the fried. In the method of application it is written about this: use as you want, as you like, no one sees it anyway.

xxx: bought an inflatable tourist foam, in exchange for the old-for-300r. He laid it on the floor, she swallowed. Lie to. Comfortable, soft, I don’t want to go anywhere, I want to lie down. Tourist equipment should work somehow differently!

I don’t understand a lot in this life. For example the charging. A word that breathes with joy! Now as I do exercise, I will be charged with energy for the whole day, I will fly, not walk!

What in fact? Be sure to wake up an hour earlier, not to fall asleep, and then put yourself back to sleep with monotonous rhythmic movements. As a result - a cotton head, painful muscles, wasted forces. It is still necessary to polish this matter, put it in some fresh sticky oatmeal, so that life will finally lose its colors. All day you just think about how to lie down somewhere to sleep, eat and rest. and charged.

to this:

"qqq: Since I dare to hope that my funeral will be crowded, music will need a lot, I have long since started picking up musical accompaniment for this action..."

A sister (29 years old, sewing by kind of activity) stands next to me at the funeral, silent, sad, and suddenly on my ear:
"I've long thought about how I want to have such shoes on me high, on a rope, a shirt so white long, with a strap, trousers so narrow... yes, and paint me brighter.
I: What are you talking about?
I’m talking about my...heh.

Oh Oh Oh Oh!

As one very good man said, “If you remove all the lies from history, it doesn’t mean that it will remain true. Maybe there will be nothing left. andquot;

It was yesterday at the musical "Notre-Dame de Paris".
Story: "Beautiful" is given "Mudaku",after which incredible
She suffers and she is "just a friend" (from "Friendsons"), and "Mudak",
As always, "in chocolate"
It is like the history of the 15th century, and nothing has changed since then.

to this

Dialogue between two accountants moving shipments from 1C trading base to 1C accounting.
In the 21st century, the spacecraft spaced the vastness of the universe, and I manually interrupted the contractors.
And Sasha showed me how to automate it.
...??? to
See also Ctrl-C Ctrl-V
by Zy. You won’t believe, but they have 1C programmers in the state – Sasha.

We had a similar "programmer", only Roma
Until a girl with a mathematical education came into accounting.
Now we have a new programmer and automated data transfer.

We brought a month ago an unsettling and curious rabbit, such a harmful Carlson. I noticed that if you start to lick him, he's a wolf turning around him, trying to catch his hand. The husband blamed that this way the rabbit's head will turn and hurt. Yesterday I saw that he was doing the same thing, forcing the rabbit to run around his hand.
I said I couldn’t do that, I said.
The husband with grief answers:
Maybe at least he will get tired.

Whoever remembers the old, has an eye on his ass.

It’s easier than accumulating quotes. Forgiving, a Christian does not hold evil on you, does not wish you all sins, does not avenge. This is enough. And to the court he files as a citizen, the church in our country is separate from the state, you know, and it is quite possible that he wishes you only good. Why are you so upset by the court, you are a criminal?
____________________________________________________________________

If he submits a murder, for example, or another act violating the law - then okay, the citizen is a citizen. But what law does an abstract citizen appeal to when he goes to court for insulting religious feelings? What are these feelings and why should they be protected by law?

I like your revenge. When it is convenient – I am Orthodox, when it is uncomfortable to be Orthodox (for example, you do not want to passively accept someone else’s hostility to your religion) – I am immediately a citizen.