bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136481
 02.12.2016
When we pay off our grandchildren, we pay back our debts to our grandparents. Give god that the grandchildren have someone to pay their debts.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №136480
 02.12.2016
Disclaimer - medical history, laughter is not worth looking for there.
Drawing bikes in the ordinary is an eternal tradition, in any country in any language.
My bike to colleagues seemed incredibly exotic - there was snow and it was cold.
Lots of snow and very cold.
The winter turned out to be unusually harsh - my city clothes did not heat up, the towel with Scora was much more useful.
It was worse in the hospital - it was very cold, I barelyined my intensive care room in the heat, thanks to the relatives of the patients - brought the calories, the electrician stumbled and the traffic jams stopped flying.
But here's the story - a challenge to an acute stomach, seriously - rural nonsense does not cause.
Toulouse and in Wasik.
We’re going—precisely, we’re breaking through the snow, the grandmother lives in a remote huthor.
Sasha, the driver-Mishka, we will not go any further, we will get stuck.Huttor-the magician straight, I can already see him from the hill.
Sasha is waiting for help. He nodded his head...
A short oath to the drivers of the rural Emergency, know everything and everyone, with the technique on you, all the locks in the area, will pass through any road, help the field sheriff or doctor, carry heavy on the bearings.
In short – if such an ass is not taken – so it is.
Sasha, what are the suggestions?
Taki came up with a solution - he raised the locals, brought the horse and the sanity, the local guy came to the car.
Sasha, Sasha is serious?
One way out, this doctor-this san. Go, Misha, with God, I’ll be waiting for you here.
I come out of Wazik - I fall on my shoulders in the snow - it was slightly, Sasha was right - they't have gone by, they would have stuck exactly.
The Eedem horse walks slowly, reluctantly, coldly, and the legs are hanging.
It’s cold and I feel pain in the teeth, silence.Only the snow and the strange shaking sound can sometimes be heard.
We arrived, I entered the house - there is warm, in one half - the ground floor, on it the seed and some animals.
In the second half, the hostess of the Hunter, woe to her.
The eyes shine and fall, the nose is sharpened, the lips are dry – not good, however.
What happened? the stomach hurts.
Long time?
What a time.
Time a local measure of time, from 2 hours to 20 years, she did not answer me clearly.
Is it a week? Somewhere a week.
I look like a board. And do not touch - it hurts.Symptoms are not good, peritonitis.
Come on, grandmother, get together.
I can't wait for the neighbor, I can't leave them - they are frozen in a day, very small.
Oh, calves, pigs, lambs, that’s what she suffered at home for a week.
I send the sanitarian to the neighbor, half an hour later, after the terrible oath of the neighbor to not destroy the animal - I plant the sick in the sanitarian and back to Wazik. Back the horse goes more fun, up to the rise falls - she is the sweetest in the world, I understand her well...
We get overloaded in the car, Sasha doesn't easily roll out on the bulk - here is the hospital, I take off my body, a surgeon goes to the operating room, I bring in anesthesia, we open- эх, grandmother, what you did...
In the belly-green garden, appendicitis exploded in a nuclear, rumbling peritonitis.
And what do you think?
She has survived!! A couple of days in my intensive care room - I slept behind the wall, watched, a couple of weeks in the department and - home.
Your great deeds, plus the harshness of the countryside, we saved her.
And the trembling sound – the ampules crashed, small, in my bag.
All of Health!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136479
 02.12.2016
"Something the 16th year didn't, the 17th must definitely be better" - people naively thought exactly a hundred years ago.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136478
 02.12.2016
xxx: In Kharkov, the entire bike infrastructure is represented by a monument to the downed cyclist.
Postmodern as it is.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №136477
 02.12.2016
xxx: we have when the server lies, the muscle from the Ford Boyd plays in the server >_<

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136476
 02.12.2016
And with the onset of dawn, all pitchers, rubists, sisharpers go to work and write in php+bitrix...)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136475
 02.12.2016
Given the current statistics on divorce proceedings, in order to minimize divorces, it is necessary to allow couples to do temporary registration in the ZAGS by analogy with registration.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136474
 02.12.2016
Here are the Japanese, the Eastern blood, yet they are somewhat muddy, they hide their nature, they worship, they smile, they constantly demonstrate politeness... Whether our business, the whole soul, nothing is hidden, neither bad character, nor defects of upbringing, nor naked ass.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136473
 02.12.2016
Gluk> is a shit. Lift on 21chel without pressure sensors in the doors and sensors of presence between them someone... I really want to draw vertical jaws on them.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136472
 02.12.2016
I started to read Jack London (before this "Eugenia Onegin" finished). It is difficult to understand that Jack compared to Pushkin is just a nub. Then came the thought that the writer is not Russian in general, and it may be a translator's spell. And only then it came to me that I was reading prose... Unfortunately, at the end of the third paragraph and the size picked up, let's not the rhythm, but the bad white verse was composed :(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136471
 02.12.2016
I will add:

Does anyone know why in battlefield fascists play under the German flag? And in general, according to the search engines, this does not surprise anyone.

You also ask why in the historical games of Russia 14-17 black-yellow-white flag and fish reservoir on the map

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136470
 02.12.2016
They have three children – Sasha, Zhenya and Danka.
Direct football team!
Oh... Alexandra, Eugenia and Daniella.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136469
 02.12.2016
On-line broadcast of the match Karlsen - Karyakin.

The commentary:

25 is ... ♞ e3. 26 is ♖c1... The man, having changed his face, runs away from the horse.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136468
 01.12.2016
Announced by:
Additional earnings in time free from poverty

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136467
 01.12.2016
Someone came in the morning and talked like this:
Welcome to the first day of winter!
E. What happened before that?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136466
 01.12.2016
gdhg: Here on Monday during the celebration of DR Cyril switching channels hit appeared on the channel Spas and there was a live broadcast of this action. The Patriarch went to the temple of Christ the Savior. How pathetic is it. Expensive cars, security, gold, carpets, all covered for miles around. In general a pepper.
It’s not gold, it’s titanium carbide, it’s salt... it shines like gold, but in fact it’s just salt.
Andrei Simon: Yes, and cars are not cars at all, they are butterflies like that.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136465
 01.12.2016
A colleague got in an accident, crashed into an armor on the road. I decided to share photos.
The manager enters the office:
"Nahera, you put a picture of your stick in our work folder!"
...
Gogot in the office lasted a minute.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136464
 01.12.2016
Amazing creatures are these domestic animals. Dogs look at us from the bottom up, cats from the top down, and only pigs look at us like equals.
Winston Churchill

Now I understand why you don’t eat pork.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136463
 01.12.2016
We moved all the department to the electronics and somehow undetectable changed the name of the cigarette to the steamer. We were scared by the new question "let's go with the pair discuss". When the half of both sexes rose from the seats, by the pale face of her face everything was understood and had to be explained)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136462
 01.12.2016
In fact, when you open these boxes in 100 years, it is usually written shit full. These were the pioneers of the boxes. What did they write?
“We, young pioneers of the city of Oka, greet our glorious comrades in the future! Somewhere in 2005. “We envy you because you live under communism.”

I suddenly remembered how before graduation we were writing letters to the future. Opened a year ago. The best was recognized as this:

"I hope you have not obeyed".
A painting of Tyrannosaurus on the whole sheet.

Healthy printed letters:
"And don’t get married before thirty!"

This is always relevant.

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