Vladimir Putin said there are no oligarchs in Russia.
What to do in Russia in the summer?

Communicated with the girl, periodically slept together, sometimes walked, then she unexpectedly said that the vacation for a couple of days will take for the wedding. I thought a girlfriend’s wedding, in a joke asked, “Are you getting married?” She actually got married in a month. I was surprised first, and then I was surprised too.

We brought with a guy a wave-shaped poppy, the name was chosen simple - Gosha. At first, he was pleasantly cheerful. Until he started talking. Gosha loves to listen to conversations, listen attentively to what is said on television, and then repeat everything he has remembered.

I come somehow from work, Gosha is hysterically worn in the cage, happy to see me, calls by name and repeats endlessly "go here". Well I approach him, I ask what happened, and he says to me, “Will you come out for me?”

I did not give this phrase special importance, most likely he listened to me in the morning when I called my colleagues, looking for a replacement for tomorrow. And the guy was sitting in the headphones, playing the computer, too, without attention. Gosha did not hesitate, asked again five times. I jokingly answered that I would go out and went to the kitchen. While I was making tea, I heard my boyfriend quietly talking to the poppy. P is a guy, G is a goose:

Q: Gosha, where is the ring?

G: I do not know.

Q: Gosh, where are you doing his business?

G: Go to NAH!

It turns out a guy through the poppy wanted to make me an offer. For a long time they rehearsed that Gosha would ask me and then give me a ring in a clove. But Gosha turned out to be clever, hid the tsack and sent the guy somewhere away.

The guy took the ring while cleaning the cage, and made the offer as appropriate =)

A new employee (C) came to the bank, to whom I was fixed as a mentor. Start with a standard conversation:

I: Do you live where? Far to work?

A: Yes, not at all, 10-15 minutes from home.

I: Yes, I’m not too far away, I live in a painting.

C: And I too!

This is how it happens!

I: And for a long time?

C: For the rest of my life.

Further discussions on the subject: in which school he studied, common acquaintances, wondered why in 20 years of conscious life never saw each other in the area.

Q: Do you know the shit?

I: Of course I know! There were some "tollkinists" who went there - they stumbled on the sticks, and they ate vodka.

The man cried out, and then proudly said:

C: It was us!

In one small district group VKontakte appeared an announcement: a guy is looking for a guitar. Whatever, the cheaper the better, and ideally in a gift. I scratched my brains: I have a guitar at home without a string and upset in the mud. The whole body, which is the most important thing. I don’t want to, I can’t play. I will give him a good deed.

We called and agreed to a meeting. The guy liked everything, but refused to take a gift.

Can I give you a beer for her?

Not principally for me. Take it, it doesn’t need it anyway.

“It doesn’t eat,” insisted the new owner of the guitar, “it just can’t! Sign is bad.

I went into the store, he took me two bottles of beer of medium quality, shrugged his hands and broke up.

And then I go home and think... It turns out that I just had a guitar?

The greatest threat to democracy is a wise, just and loved ruler.

of Ukraine. Winter of 2019. On the street +1.
We work in construction. Nine people are cementers. People are simple.
Everyone’s salary is minimal. We cut cylinders and blades of concrete. At smoking and lunch we come to warm up in the bus PAZik, on which the company drives us to the construction site.
The driver of the bus, Stepanic (man 55 years old). All of his work is to take the workers to the site, and after work - to take them back to TREST. He has a schedule, like everyone else, from eight to five. That is, all 7 hours (one hour a day Stepanych, still, to work - the delivery of people to the construction and back), while we drag the concrete - he has free time with the attachment to the place and the bus (there is dry and warm), which he is not even obliged to repair ( in the "garage" there are car slides, they carry out all repairs and ITs). Basically, at this time he reads books, heats the bus and constantly noises, say, the minimum - bullying the working man.
It was lunch time, everyone ate and rested. Who played the cards, who played the phone. On the street it rained that day - we were wet, tired. We sit, we smoke, we dry, we warm.
Stepanic begins his speech:
“I’m looking like Pope Carlos on these chacals. And they, fucks, smell a minimal and hold it for two months! I’m counting, I am counting! Drivers are not in X...
You are right, Stephanie! The brigadier speaks. How much can we endure this horror? Throw away your “bone”! Come to us in Betlehem! Not all life to be humiliated - gasoline with the bus to steal!

My family spends a month several times less than the effective managers of the Ministry of Commerce spend in a day in hotel rooms. Guess whose spending the government has offered to control?

A pigeon has been sitting at my window for less than half an hour, watching me work, and knocking on the window if I get distracted.

XX: I am afraid

You are talking about planning, time management.

Fucking Pigeon: This Is My Secret to Success

A classmate of his wife in Israel, called the guests: "...in the hotel to stay expensive, stay with us, it will be a little cheaper." I just wanted to visit them.)

I was in the store yesterday. In addition to food, I took a couple of beer for the dacha. Standing at the box office, the cashier is such a straight east aunt, snooping, with a strong accent:

Is there 18 years?

What is?

Are you drinking beer 18?

I’m 34 and I’m already big.

Why is it so thick?

So why rejoice?

"Listen, if I asked if I was 18, I would have been so happy all day long!

Modesty was not on my list of virtues – there was not enough space.

And as a child, I dreamed not about a computer, but about a underground bunker, only to dig it I had nowhere. And when the parents bought the land, they said one century of land in the corner of your plot, roy your bunker. I joyfully excavated a hole of three cubes there, but I didn't have time to arrange it... A week later, a sortier was erected over my bunker. has not yet been filled.

“Today I saw a 15-year-old girl buying a rejuvenating cream. Pepe, it is time for me to retire.
She may be 40, but the cream is good.

With my acquaintance happened such a fun story that even a frog does not burn. When he told me, I barely put on my pants. It happened that he spent on the girl he lived with. Summer and all that, the grandmothers go away quickly, well, and asked for work on a tough trip, hard, but the grandmothers immediately and a good amount. He left, a week bumped in dust and heat. We got up a day earlier, gathered together and went home. He did not call the girl, thought a surprise to make, convinced himself that she was decent and everything would be fine. The other workers were calling, like, call, not stupid. Hohmi is so. He did not call, he fought himself. I thought if I would call, I’t believe her. Then I called for five minutes before we got home. I did not withstand the checks. I came home, everything was fine, sat down to drink tea, began to tell about the trip, how it went and what the work was there. Then he says, like, you need to call the boss and ask if you can get the money right now to repay the debt to a friend. He recruits the boss, waits and the phone is ringing in the toilet. There was only a phone in the bathroom, but there was no boss. The girl swears she doesn’t understand anything and that’s his stupid joke.

My wife’s name is Gay. Well, the usual such an ancient Greek name, her parents were interesting.

Sometimes I have to say that I’m married to Gay, yes.

I have a friend, a healthy man, 30 years of age, a beard, a hrivast, engaged in historical fencing, interested in the reconstruction of the early Middle Ages, in short – an excellent guy. One day, our common friends went on vacation and asked him to take care of their dog. I don't know what the breed is, but the dog is small. Not that terrier, rather something like a Beijingese, but more like a dog. A female room variant. But even this room dog needs to walk, such is its dog nature.

On the day I described, my comrade went to some kind of folk festival, where he jumped under the sounds of guitars and rolls, and together with like-minded people sang Irish folk songs in Russian. He dressed, of course, according to the event – grabbed the Scottish Kilt. If suddenly anyone does not know, this is such a men's fabriced shirt, one of the most important items of Scottish men's national costume. But it’s time for the night, the festival is over. People began to think where to go, to continue the banquet. There was also a friend of my name, but he was forced to turn away and go for a walk, the debt above all.

I left as I was, there was no time to go home to change clothes. Well, Peter's thing was, we've got someone here just not going, so the man in the kitten didn't surprise anyone in the subway. He went to friends, took a dog, went out. He went out into the yard, went around the house, let the dog walk, smoked, stood, looked at the sides. The area is depressed; outskirts, floors, late evening, in the street of no one. Suddenly, three beautiful men come out of the corner. Sports costumes, shaved skulls, white socks, sandals are shorter, the classic hops, as it was in the nineties. My friend was surprised; I thought such characters had already been elevated.

The gentlemen noticed him, stopped, looked closely, whispered for a few minutes, then one approached my comrade and politely, without any ambiguity, fired a cigarette. My friend cooked, of course. Autokhton smoked, released a splash of smoke and asked what the breed of the dog was. A friend replied that he didn’t know exactly, they talked a little about the cynology, the local got tired, thanked again, and was about to leave.

- And I had thought that you and the boys would ask me for a shirt, - said the friend, pressing his hand to the rapper to say goodbye.

Are you chick brother? He was surprised, and we see that this is not your shirt, but a kilt!

It is very difficult to keep the love of people for a small salary.

I bought a landscape and encountered the fact that there are constantly a lot of bugs on the site and around it.
I read on the Internet that hoodies do not live where there is a lot of hoodies.
Thro the summer, I searched, dragged and fed.
Now in the day I have a lot of gossip, and at night it is full, shit!

Never drink while driving. Because when you get hit by someone who writes SMS while driving, you are to blame.