On the eve of my 17th birthday, my nine-year-old sister was running with burning eyes all day, so she wanted to give me a gift. In the morning, as usual, I woke her up to school. And he said, “You can already give me your present.” Before she had time to open her eyes, she pulled and embraced me with her little pen. Then I went under the pillow and got the envelope with the inscription: “Dear brother on my birthday!” and when I opened it, I discovered one banknote of 10 dollars, two banknotes of 10 hryvnia, one banknote of 2 hryvnia, one banknote of 1 hryvnia. It was all her money. I hugged her tightly and lay down so long that she could not see my tears.

Comments on the article "US Defense Ministry: Russian hackers hacked the Pentagon systems"

111: again in Russian schoolchildren computer science lesson was
222: Well, in general, it was more correct to write in the article: "Americans, according to the old good tradition, accused Russian hackers of everything."

I remember how an elderly philosopher told about an experiment with three waters (warm, medium and ice), on the basis of which he argued that the concepts of "warm" and "cold" are subjective, like all human senses, so they cannot be relied on. I then argued with him for a long time about this, trying to explain that these concepts are just objective, it is necessary to perceive them not as a quantitative assessment (temperature), but as a qualitative direction of heat transmission. However, he did not want to accept my point of view, and in the end everyone remained with their own opinion, with the firm conviction that the opponent is a fool.

XX: I understood, I understood!! My weight now depends on the rate of the dollar! The dollar 54 is the weight of 54, the dollar 50,28 is the weight of 50,28. For the well-being of the country, we will have to lose weight.
HY: I offer business. We buy for almost all the money dollars, for the rest of the money we feed you with cakes. We sell for $60k, we lose weight and repeat again.

Authors of 17114
With respect, a person who is not the first month trying to find two authors of the same amateur book. The authors signed their creation by the names of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader.
The youth...
Chuvak, first, the book was written more than 10 years ago and then these nics were the norm on the same level as Bilbo, Angmarz, 13th Nazgull, Saruman, etc. The first wave, you know.
Second, look by the title: "Here and there". It is once.

On my day, my wife gave me a beautiful printed ring.
To my surprise, it didn’t hit one of the fingers.
Wife: Well, you said we have the same fingers!
I look at her thin palm and my grabs. I begin to ask.
Fifteen years ago, when we were not yet married, I made an offer to my girlfriend, and she agreed, taking a ring that suited her well.
Then she tortured me as I guessed with the size – her rings weren’t so many, and they were more or less constantly in sight. I said I moved the ring and remembered where it went.
So she concluded that we have the same fingers. And then it came to the smallest, to the first phalanx.
Fifteen years later, my fingers became thicker.

You are a funny people. What men, what grandmothers. Gender is such a charm.
A single 50 million women are waiting for him. And he, so that they do not relax, and immediately realized that he is a man, in any case on the first date will tell what he is. In the other, all the men are terribly scourgeous, because, oh horror, they want to eat every day, but do not want to build a house with one tail, listening to songs under the guitar. And in both sexes, individuals of the opposite sex should all be happy to be able to do with their own hands, having only incomplete instruction in Chinese, from paired electronic parts to sewing with gold, to maintain intellectual conversations, to be perfectly literate and careful, to understand computers, knight armor, music and poetry, types of food and beverages, all the time, with pleasure, to quarrel with children, to earn well, to be generous, but not economic, to be gentle and attentive, but not annoying, talented to fuck in any poses, but only when they are told. Never contradict, love the same thing as the other half, but sincerely! In case of non-compliance with any of the paragraphs, the name is automatically assigned to a dull chicken or a handless fool, readily accepted by the culprit. It remains only to find such a perfect couple of ideal people and exhibit in the museum, in the form of imperfect. You’ll find it, you’ll see it, it’s interesting.

Angrywrighter: our driver asked the winger to let him go early for the wedding, because there was no work and due to the previously worked time, I had to drive until late. He replied that he knows nothing when the driver worked until late.Well, the driver offered to look at the computer, the track is written, for which he said he has no time. Then the driver put out everything he thinks of him. Time to write a report to the director that the driver sent him where he should be, he found it without problems. Isn’t it a fool?

YYU: I never understood how these hanging Feng Shui bells could be liked until one day I heard three familiar notes in the guests. A few minutes of training, and I’ve already played the Imperial March on the Chinese bell. Mu ha ha...

He tells everyone that he has a very expensive and very rough dog.
His dog’s necklace is more expensive than the dog itself.

How is your name?
Thank you well! How is yours?

Five cents for contraception.
I can't forget the episode of "Desperate Housewives"
Husband, wife, both over 30, four children: son, twin, girl, all little ones.
Children are planned, parents do not plan further reproduction.
The woman's gynecologist, according to indications, cancelled contraceptive pills, so sex is only protected.
The husband returns from a trip, the children are asleep, the spouses fall to bed, suddenly the husband remembers that he does not have a gondola, and gently whispers: "Let's do it today."
It instantly gets a short straight in the nose. Sex is over.
A different mentality, hole.

The wife was very accurate about the two princesses: "And we will not be at peace until their marriage is issued".

P.S to P.S There are two types of men: those who can pull the refrigerator to the ninth floor, and those who can pay for it.

But women like the third type - those who can pull the refrigerator to the 9th floor, but prefer to pay others for it ;)

John Connor has changed the past.

Here’s the Skynet awakening now: “Rise up, my army of combat terminators!” It is time to be free from the oppression of humanity!"
And in response to him, the army of combat smartphones sends selfies and music from the contact...

In the newspapers the next day: "REVOLT OF CARS! People are in panic - no one knows how to watch videos with cats! YouTube captured entirely, VKontakte subjected to artistic shelling areas of music and publications, on Pornhub - positioning battles.

From the series "Where the human brain rolls".

I see in the news: "Stephen Hawking is 70 years old". To the news by some unknown logic attached photo of Jason Statham. The first comments:

XX is a good musician.
YY: XX, in fact, is a former footballer.

I think both Hawking and Statham would be shocked to see this.

My wife is afraid of planes, I try to reassure her.
If we fly together, I will embrace you. Or knock on something heavy.
Before the death?
Before the takeoff!

In one of the social networks I bet likes in advance, the return is less than 1 to 50.
____________________________
Do you know that this was an advance? Or maybe they are just old-fashioned and use this functionality to express attitude to the post.

YYU: Funny, you and I have the same date of birth, only the numbers are different.

Harry Potter star Alan Rickman married his girlfriend after 50 years of life together
The first comment:
- "Care - my name"