bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №112530
 24.04.2015
Sports Trauma

The story of a surgeon:

At three o’clock at night, a chic cabriolet comes to our “trauma”.
The man brought the girl.
Her nose and mouth are open.
I ask :

My pigeon, what happened to you?

But she only washes, handles and lets saliva.
I immediately realized that this was a jaw dislocation, and therefore, the interlocutor she was zero, and turned to her companion:

What happened to you?
and fell.
How did she fall? Under what circumstances? From high altitude?
In the bowling. I rented for the night bowling, well, you understand: romance, we’re just two, all the business, wanted a nice offer to make, and here’s the...

The girl, hearing the word - "proposal", revived, closed and let a new saliva waterfall.

The man, without looking at her, grabbed her on the head and continued:

- They came, just changed their clothes, she just grabbed the ball, ran away with him, ran to the trail and immediately stumbled and from all the scale, ba-bach! Probably the face of the ball.

I threw the guy out into the hallway so that he didn’t get confused under my feet and slowly repaired the girl’s jaw, thank God, her teeth didn’t hurt. As I expected, with her mouth closed, she was just beautiful. Taking her away from tears and soaps, and while putting a lotion on her nose, he asked:

Beautiful, how did it make you so happy? You need to be more careful.
“Yes, I played bowling for the first time in my life and my shoes didn’t work.
In the sense of “not working”?
“Well, I’ve seen athletes on television running, rolling the ball and slowly going after him. There are special assistants wiping the path. But we were alone in the bowling, without counterparts. And my shoes turned out to be broken - not a niqab slipped at all...

Hearing my horse’s roar, the frightened bridegroom ran into the office:

What? what? What happened?! to

A repaired girl stumbled at him on the neck, shouting:

by Zaia! You are a rabbit! I agree!

I laughed, wished them good luck and added:

Young man, I strongly recommend that you keep away from your loved one everything cold and hot, sharp and dull, and even wet and dry.
– and? Okay doctor. for a long time?
Until death separates you.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №112529
 24.04.2015
A man was going to sink. Standing on a bridge with a borderstone on its neck. A woman runs to him and cries:
Man stand up! Wait to!
What do you need?
The woman stretching the package:
Take the cats...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112528
 24.04.2015
Do you know that there are different types of prostitutes?
The ones that are taken at home are not separated at all
How will you define now?
— — —
If he says, "Let the money on the box," then a prostitute, and if he says, "Take the children out of the kindergarten in the evening," then the wife.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112527
 24.04.2015
I have a friend. by Nikolai Nikolaevich. His father’s name is Nikolai Nikolaevich. The son of a friend is called (ta-dam!) by Nikolai Nikolaevich.
In this case, the son of a friend was born:
If you get married, get a daughter.
Break the vicious chain!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112526
 24.04.2015
Macaron monster: not to be confused! Bisexual – one that both boys and girls can like
And the one who sleeps with every encounter and encounter is not a bisexual, it is a BILL.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112525
 24.04.2015
He listened attentively to her and timidly then asked if they had accidentally (he said - INCIDENTALLY) in the presence of a 5mm-thick galvanized sheet and travers for the crane.
________
The guy is a thin troll, however. Galvanized sheet greater than 4.5mm is not produced

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112524
 24.04.2015
XXX: Do not drive on the forklift line
Yyy: and in the Arbat-Pokrovskaya
XXX What is there?
YYY: Just to make people less

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112523
 24.04.2015
I received a spam message from the job site:

Find out where to get up to 500 thousand rubles!".

"Hm... Yes everywhere", I thought and didn’t start reading.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112522
 24.04.2015
SE: Make a very cool framework, call it “Remove”. Everyone will start using it and boast that “our website is made for fuck.”
GP: Oh, that’s a framework and it’s always been, but we didn’t know it was a framework.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №112521
 24.04.2015
Ghennady: I want to share today’s event, the eyewitness of which I have been. I sat in the bus, I went to work, I left the headphones at home. Some drunk from the morning the cock began to make an agitation in passenger transport, such as: to get to the bodies, to start blue conversations with other passengers, to overwhelm people talking on the phone. One man hinted to him, say, let’s calm down, let’s go out and talk '. Drink, say, without a bazar, let’s go. Something I wanted to go out with them, because the machete was stuck. So the bus comes to the stop, these two go out, I follow. The seducer (who turned out to be a guy of a sports body) broke his fist on a fucking drunk (who turned out to be a meter-two-height bump). Ambal's nose was swept from a blow. The comforter said to him, saying, let yourself behave badly and left. Alkas was upset and sat and waited for the next bus. and all. And that’s all, shit! No screams, no sharp clashes, no nichu. Ordinary morning fighting in Minsk. Without excess and without anything.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112520
 24.04.2015
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: For what now?
XXX: For the cat's birth was accepted.
YYY: SHOOOO7
YYY: Right at work?
XXX is no. I didn’t go to work one day.
That’s why you have cats.
Cats are good.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112519
 24.04.2015
Re: Why does the electric flow bypass the resistor?

There are two roads: on one of the resistors curl, on the other of the wire gold. Which mother will you lead?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112518
 24.04.2015
I can't do it, I'm on a date today.
Did you suddenly have a girlfriend?
XXX: Aha
YYU: What is their name?
The Book of Olga)
The princess? O_O
Not a princess, but a bookwoman, she works in the library.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112517
 24.04.2015
From a website about headache treatment:
A proven method of treating a headache that occurs due to a shock of the brain,
by Ubiquity. To do this, you will need a seat with wooden edges. Of course, not everyone has such a site, but if you try, you can find it.

The edge of the sit should be pressed with teeth so that the face is inside its surface. Then gently hit the fingers of your left hand on the right side of the sit, and then hit the fingers of your right hand on the left side of the sit. Then with the palms of both hands also gently hit on both sides of the sit. Make sure that the powder is the same. These actions can be repeated again.
And in the evening of the same day do the following: stand face to face to a smooth surface (painted, polished, canvas, mirror - any), lean your forehead and nose (remember how in childhood you pressed to the window window) and start to sit slowly, without opening your forehead. The forehead will begin to jump down small steps, there will be vibration. This is the method of treatment. The pain goes away very quickly, sometimes even after 3 sessions.
Whoever does not believe, let it be checked!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112516
 24.04.2015
I wrote about the same case as that, I was advised a couple of handy movements and you have two bottles of deodorant at home. What I recommend to you :)
--------------------
And then this man suddenly becomes an official.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112515
 24.04.2015
What is this pattern-breaking?

"The Autodrome On the autodrome comes a little "Mi-mi-Mi-Ni-Ni" girl in a light coat. Maneuver between rolling machines (not in the category "B"). In a jump, it jumps past the men’s bikers (and not on "A"...). He runs to Uncle Vase, gives him his bag, jumps into the tractor and goes to turn the program into the tractor category!!!) than the rise of the pattern to all present."

The girl in the garage costs a Japanese or state quadric cubic for 800. She will ride on it. on public roads. A helmet and full crew. According to law. Certificate of tractorist. (and yes, in our vast country - quadrics, bugs and other motorcycles are category A, tractor).

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112514
 24.04.2015
No, I understand everything, it is a struggle with obscene vocabulary, but to be fooled in the forum for the phrase about the Ipatievsky monastery, with the wording "for the use of hidden mat", it is already too much.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №112513
 24.04.2015
My flower fertilizer business went well.

But Arlee filed a lawsuit against me – they already had a patent for selling the shit for narcissists.

exaggerated prices.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112512
 23.04.2015
My husband and dad wondered what to give me.

Make a list to stay behind:
1nd Badge
Thermos for 2 l of stainless steel
3. disc sewing on armature for stitching
4 Shinjuku

I wait

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112511
 23.04.2015
There are two admin offices:
Admin1: I would give all the quiet rooms...
Admin 2: and the puzzles.

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