bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74154
 11.12.2012
I thought, after the lighting loci from the shaurma, my wife could not surprise me with anything. How naive I was.
The morning. Early 5 hours. I sleep. Suddenly something joyfully jumps and cries upon me. I open one eye and see a woman licking from ear to ear:
and Murzick! The Moroccan!! The cane is working!! Rraah, I will now eat you as a female godmother!
He pretends to bite my head.

That’s how from all this I should have understood that she’s expecting a baby??! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74153
 11.12.2012
Commentary on ZH:

> or to roast or to cry. As long as I crawl and crawl.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74152
 11.12.2012
What do you know about savings? Washing the plastic bags of the child’s leather compared to the actions of my brother’s wife. She washes all the white in the laundry machine, hangs it in the bath, gathers all the water, then pouches it back and washes the colored things in that water. Then repeat the procedure and wash the black already! I asked her about the toilet paper. I was offended.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74151
 11.12.2012
In the words of Father:
I remember when I was working at the factory, the head of the shop was constantly drinking. That is to say, it was only necessary to approach him on important issues until noon - after him no one. And there was a master - a man already under 70, with golden hands. I could pull out a metal chain. I also drank regularly in the morning.
So, at the end of the work shift, two loneliness met. (M) Aster says to the leader:
M: Felix, I need a mark!
N (long looking at it): Yes... We have few buttons...
Pause for 30 seconds
M: Felix, I don’t need much! I need one!"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №74150
 11.12.2012
Aaa: I love you, little girl =* hug yourself for me before going to bed ;)
BBB: I will embrace you :* take me off before I go to bed :DDDD

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74149
 11.12.2012
Anatoly: And that’s good.
fucking
I don’t want to wait for N27.
I want you. and sweets
I will grind you with crumbs.
and honey.
and chocolate
and shrinking
and caramel.
Sugar Powder
Cook in the oven for 25 minutes.
Anna: Thank you very much.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74148
 11.12.2012
Chat guild of one MMORPG:
Stalin is accepted into the Guild "Red"
Christ has risen, friends!
Stalin is excluded from the Guild "Red"

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74147
 11.12.2012
The news:

The US will take the place of Russia in case of its withdrawal from Baikonur

I already feel the news: Obama demands to liberate the democratic Baikonur from the monstrous tyranny of the Russians.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74146
 11.12.2012
[15:45:54] Masha: I have an affigenic electronic spark
[15:45:54] Masha: the stitch of a bunch of pens sharpened
[15:45:57] Masha: yet another tochu
[15:46:04] Nick: (rofl)
Masha: I’ve done it all.
Masha: There is nothing to do anymore
[16:25:13] Nick: You listened to part of the opera "My Liban Office", monologue: "Why do I have a scraper when I have an electronic pencil scraper"

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74145
 11.12.2012
Go to Nashville! I have two identical lighters, one of which is completely empty and does not burn, and the other is half full and burns very easily. For a long time, he trained his intuition periodically pulling out one of them in the hope of pulling out the one that would light up. And I learned this and now show it as a magic to everyone I know. The secret is simple. For a long time, I asked my subconscious mind how to learn to feel the upcoming events, and one day it answered me: “Vasya, go down! The empty wheel, if pressed, does not spin!" This is the whole secret.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74144
 11.12.2012
Today I realized that my cat was a poppy in a past life.
YYY: What is it?
Chci : despite the fact that he already weighs 3 kg - climbs to my shoulder and arranges there *(

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №74143
 11.12.2012
I have a pepperwork with me. Such a big and a little "tough" Alosha, bribing with his naivety. So he has a wife (very surprisingly) and of course a aunt. In the summer, leaving the country last, our inventive Alosha came up with nothing better than putting the keys from the country in the cave (have a small patch on the territory). The result: more than 20 bites at the aunt))) on the question "why in the oak" answers "no and where else". Rush to the moment!!! to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №74142
 11.12.2012
The C Forum:
Tomorrow - 6-9, and I have water in the washer.
Find someone who can squeeze more!
What do I do with the water in the washer?
It is strange that a man who has solved one not easy task suits a simpler task.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74141
 11.12.2012
Loves the phrase of familiar people "I need a notebook with a NORMAL GAME video card!".)
Dear friends, I have a compass that is the size of your laptop! XD is

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74140
 11.12.2012
About Facebook
[21:16:10] Alexander: Created a fake account, handed out dohuya people, and said invite those you know...
[21:16:30] Alexander: reviewed all, invited one RICHARD GIRA
[21:16:56] Alexander: the others I do not know ))

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74139
 11.12.2012
A loving wife:
How can I explain to my beloved husband, who has been married for eight years, that when I say "rabbit, embrace me" - I need to embrace, not embrace, embrace and fuck?
And when I ask you to massage my neck, don’t take the cowards off of me.
Rabbit, I love you!"

Rejoice you fool! I can only embrace you. ;(

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74138
 11.12.2012
Do you know what salary is written?
Constantine: 8 blat blat thousands.
Constance: Eight
Konstantin: for C# programmers
Konstantin: 5 years of experience

We have a surgeon with 25 years of experience, with all categories, benefits and internships 12 thousand receives, and nothing - the administration everywhere tubes that the problem of physicians' salaries is solved.
Precisely, I received 12t.r., until a month ago, the wages were cut.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №74137
 11.12.2012
Who do you love more, me or the cat?
I love you more than cattle.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74136
 11.12.2012
I love Call of Duty 2. A tank breaks down a wall in front of me, he is heading against us.
Scream
Beware of the tank!

We turn, we run away.
Another scream
Idiots, this is our tank!

We turn, we run back.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74135
 11.12.2012
XXX: Hello to everyone
xxx: today will be patch with upgrades and errors
YYY: very good
yyy: so honestly

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