bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103911
 10.10.2014
I work for food.
(I eat 1 kg of black caviar per hour)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103910
 10.10.2014
Russia is a country in which, if you get lost in the forest on the Finnish border, you can get lost in Korean in a few years.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103909
 10.10.2014
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh How it works?
Tagged: heroine
In the morning, erotic fantasies are filled.
Q: Do you share it? and ;)
Ho is easy.
I want everyone to get rid of it and finally get to work!!! to
H is : ((

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103908
 10.10.2014
Temporary fence of blue profile. On it are large yellow letters: "Temporary inscription".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103907
 10.10.2014
My mother gave me a smartphone, and the next day I bought it. In a couple of months I managed to drop it several times - across the screen a huge scratch, yet in the corner a spider. I come to visit her, boast of my curvature and the sturdiness of my smartphone. Mother rattles and shows her - the same scratches, only a little elsewhere. I’m 100% sure it’s not accepted.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103906
 10.10.2014
From one torrent tracker on screen quality:
"- All hello, and what is the quality?"
You know, the picture is so peculiar that it can only be described by artistic images. Imagine, for example, that you’ve tried drying your eye with a vacuum cleaner (Samsung, 1800 Wt, on medium power), but dropped it halfway, and now you’re trying to test your eye’s performance by looking at this beautiful world with a blurred, iridescent glance, experiencing unbeatable happiness from what you’re still able to see, and at the same time experiencing the fear and discomfort of thinking that the world will still be blurred and blurred. Here is the most complete description of "quality" and the experiences it causes."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103905
 10.10.2014
I once decided with a friend (at the time of the USSR) from Yalta to Gurzuf, on a boat, they previously walked along the Crimean coast as buses. Well, we didn't guess with the weather, and the captain didn't guess, in short - we got into a weak storm, and what meant us about the rocks did not fade, the driver of this dish decided to take a little moristee, well and took... The whole boat blew, long and stubbornly, and my friend fell asleep and thought... Well, I led him into the gallion, on the dancing under his feet, wet deck, which in itself was already a fun attraction. It was even more fun... but only to me... he wasn’t laughing, he had time to take off his pants and sit down, here the boiler swirled on the wave, the door of the gallion opened and he flew out into the corridor, with the ports dropped, convulsively clinging to the ropes for the wall-faced orders... he squeezed on the opposite wall and squeezed, squeezed. Then, according to all the laws of physics - the ship moved back, the friend flew inside and the door behind him, with a stunning shot shut down! I was already wildly rotting, but when this whole scene, almost instantly repeated... and then again, and again, and again... and so for 2-3 minutes... I was hysterical to tears. I got stuck in some iron and cried out of laughter! A friend... he was still long, several years, did not want to remember this trip, offended. Yes to! He never did anything... he wandered.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103904
 10.10.2014
I have worked as an advocate in various insurance companies (USA) for six years. During this time I had a plaintiff who assured everyone that he was Allah and called my boss with the demand to remove me from his business, so I do not believe in Him.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103903
 10.10.2014
I don’t like being once a day and only in one place. I need to go many times and everywhere!
(According to the courier)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103902
 10.10.2014
Not knowing where to look:

Dear women of the capital!
The temperature of the environment is no longer warm and not moderate, but rather cool, as a result of which I appeal to you with a request - stop wearing rotted and hollow jeans, or your blue from the cold feet are not very looking)

An anecdote about this:
“Abram, we have to buy curtains for the bedroom: in the opposite window are young students, they can see me naked!
Why are you spending too much money? They will see you naked and buy curtains for themselves.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103901
 10.10.2014
For those who do not understand:
and.
Do you know why a girl doesn’t want sex like you? Have you ever thought?

Here's: pleasure from sex she will start to get far from immediately, you don't mind that macho, super and in general Heracles.Sex for a girl for a long time will be something like an annoying set of gymnastic exercises. In addition, not all men are ready to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and COPD, believing that they have everything normal, once it stands and does not drop from the end.
What appears to you a capricious, then for us - serious reasons not to want sex with the first encounter, because you will have to pay for your health.

Sorry, that’s not funny, but it’s strange that many of you still don’t know these basic things.


[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103900
 10.10.2014
Sexual interest is not attached to the bonus, it either exists or does not exist in absolutely any human relationship.
------------
I translate from female to chelochki: conversations, flowers and other candy - please, and don't hope for sex.
--------
I will translate from human to life-like - if you are not wanted - even if you get gifts, go out on forums and make friends, you are not wanted.
Sorry Mario but your princess is in another castle.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103899
 10.10.2014
XX: We will all die
xxx: I bought a fish 3 hours ago, I cleaned it and melted it
XXX: I cut her and she pulls her tail
yy: blue
YY: In her freezer
xxx: she has no head... without everything... fucking
Yy: We have entire regions in a country without a head
YY: So not an indicator

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103898
 10.10.2014
xxx: from Wikipedia: "in addition to the widely spread ethnochronics "omich", "omich", there are also variants of "omchanin", "omchanka", "omc", "omc", "omc"...

yyy: I "omsa"))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103897
 10.10.2014
Listen to the poem

Tagged with: valley

xxxxxxxxxxx:
The star has not yet struck,
It was only the dawn,
the serpent and hammer of the painting,
Not in the sky yet.

He is already in construction.
Not alone, the team is behind him.
Stalin, the bald Lenin
And a couple more guys.

They are preparing a return.
The Communist Ideas.
Oligarchs on the road!
O proletarian, do not be a slave!

Oh yeah well?

I'm going to go :lol:

Wauu: especially from the words of Usaty Stalin, bald Lenin

I would like to add the foul Marx, the foul Engels.

xxx: the shoe-shaped old Khrushchev and the kissing Brejnev, as well as the fifth Gorbachev

Wauu: Soviet history, the bank of the empire :)

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103896
 10.10.2014
Well, and what associations in a person should cause the phrase "frictional burns", huh?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103895
 10.10.2014
In the store came pumpkins, in the shape of similar to large pears. The saleswoman was surprised and said she had never seen anything like this before. And the warehouser decided to joke about it, saying that it was a new variety - pumpkin humbleball. He joked, and she wrote the name in the billboard in the office. The whole office laughed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103894
 10.10.2014
My sister yesterday asked: Where is Leocadia? Oh, Lecocadia is a city legend and my former boss. In the service of a taxi, Leocadia had a baptism and knew where to take it. Although it was not called Leocadia, but Evalia, but it was so called. After the corporations, she sat in a taxi and said:
Pleased to introduce. I am a leech, and this is my family. How do you glorify? Oh Andrei? Andrei, take us home. - And for 15-30 minutes of travel any taxi driver was put into a state of hiccups from laughter.
In her hands everything broke, crumbled, even the keys did not serve for a long time - moved with two fingers. In order to prevent the door of the toilet from being locked, the tongue of the castle was pushed out and it was bended with a precise blow so that without the Bulgarians could not be pulled out.
She could give 4 interpretations of the word "snoop"and none of what you thought. She could reasonably prove that the female originated from a man’s penis bone, not from a rib (after surgery on the penis, it’s as if it were!) is
It was painted with three crosses. The director prohibited. She began to write beautifully. Three years later, it became clear: I wrote beautiful venelles "Here to You". The director stumbled. She called him a perverse and said that Heer was the letter of the alphabet, not what he thought.
Where now Leocadia-Euvalia I do not know, but without it it is terribly boring!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103893
 10.10.2014
To the enthusiast:
There is no democracy, but what we accept for it is a shadow of deception.
© Zirconia

After playing with many different forms of government, he stopped on the form of democracy known as “One Man, One Voice.” Thus man was <XXXXX> and he had only one Voice.""
by Terry Pratchett. Mor, student of death

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103892
 10.10.2014
My grandmother for a long time refused to use a modern electrician. Because a normal boiler can not boil water so quickly, it is radiation, uranium heats.
Yyy: Well, if the electricity is from the nuclear power plant, then the grandmother is right.

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