After the change:
I: Let’s go to the girls on the third floor?
Go home... go home... go home... go home.
I: They have three – the tenth size!! to
I will be in a minute.

[12:05:32] Yahoo: I woke up a couple of days ago
[12:05:36] Yahoo: that someone pissed under the window
[12:05:43] Yahoo: in the bushes
[12:05:55] Yahoo: the shorter guy says to the telephone - dress up
Yahoo: “Sasha, just 30 seconds, what are you laughing at?”

Iphone has a pedrilla.
A girl without complexes is a prostitute.
Someone said something funny, but you didn’t understand – a drug addict.

How are you better at the train?
How old are you? Did you not call early?

I want to eat and sleep, and you?
I want to fuck and fuck, fuck and fuck... and I want new shoes.
The last one was unexpected...

to this:

I am a second. For four months, you claim that you do not sleep when our son is asleep, therefore, you are doing something, and this dialogue between us and you ends every night with the word "hate". Tell me, are you doing shit?? to
and
You guys, believe me, every woman in the decree just dreams of going to work, instead of sitting with children and doing housework in parallel. Pray your wife, let her rest.

Brightist
I always break my head - where do people manage to tap their phones?
Tell me, if not a secret, what to do with the phone to drown it in a healthy mind and full memory?

ice_mint_cat
falling into the bowl for example))))

Brightist
Why do you need a phone in the sea?

ice_mint_cat
At first, the bowl was not in the plan.

Irrabagon
Great comment, thank you ))

Smart people are people of non-traditional orientation: they are a minority everywhere.

A friend told me:
I am standing at the bus station in line to buy a ticket. Suddenly, one of the women enters a verbal mess with the cashier. The following is a genius exchange of replies:
Do you know who my husband is?
You idiot, I married you.

The investigator of the prosecutor's office reports to the president: "Vasilyeva showed Serdyukov, Serdyukov on Chubaysa, Chubays on Surkov, Surkov on Medvedev, Medvedev on...".
“Enough...” – interrupts Vladimir Vladimirovich: “...and so it is already quite obvious that no one is guilty of anything...”

I read reviews about the printer in silicone

Advantages: Price, quality of print
Disadvantages: The cat constantly prints the test page. The button is not in place.

spyder3: 2 years ago I came to my parents in the summer in Oditsovo Moscow Oblast. My mom said, “go with a passport, that’s the rules.” I forgot him at home. A police officer stops me near the train station and asks for a passport. I talked about bread/beer out of the house and didn’t go out for a long time. He asked what to check if the local I and let go saying - "passport must be worn". I asked why I was so interested in what I did or did. He replied, “You’re going to go here and smile on the sides.” Immediately snack that is not local, experience, but let go.
Now when I come, I don’t smile anymore, or they’ll stop again.

Almost summer already, it is hot, we sit with a friend on the street (we both study for programmers). I sit down - and here he pulls out my hair from my relatively long beard. I, of course, squeezed a little, and he says, “I want to be a good programmer!” and he tries to break his hair. Strengthened, and never broken - not fate

I dropped out of work earlier, met a long-time friend, talked, it turned out that she bought a car recently, the right week as she got. She called me to drive (and her car, by the way, Deu Matisse). So, let's go, it's not enough that the whole road clarifies the rules of the road, and "what sign", and also sings under the nose "BAS THE Wheel of the TP, THIS IS TO A TRAVEL"!! It is terrible, comrades!!! to

XXX: I do not agree to travel to the cemetery. It is nice to walk there and see the people. Everyone is lying, not lying. You rarely see something like this now.

As one gay man said: "I, like all blue people, have been forced to watch movies all the way that promotes heterosexual love, but it hasn't changed my orientation."

My grandmother died this autumn. I could not imagine such a shit and shabby. All day to decide what and how much to put in the grave, in which hand, in what to wrap. Each of the grandmothers has their own opinion about this, which they have heard somewhere or have just come up with. Couldn’t you have decided for so many years?
One finally remembers having to put a doll in the grave! of course! Everyone is friendly. Then they are divided into two fundamentally different camps, some think you need to put in the right hand, others in the left! Long to argue. They put a doll in the grave. Where did they find her? They went to a barbie shop. It is fucking. A man is buried with a Barbie in his hand. Not for the orchestra.
Then come the buriers with the manual "from the father": when they bring the tomb - everyone must quickly sit down, who sat the last, stays in the house and turns the tables when the others leave. Everyone does not understand the meaning of this gymnastics, they try to repeat actions with dull eyes, confuse everything, decide in their own way. For politeness, they pretend they did everything according to the rules. Pop writes manuals according to the principle of "to come up with such a little more next time".

Comments to the photo of the girl next to the African American basketball player:

The girl is not only a little in shock and MB is even scared, but also something else I think about :)
If you know what I am talking about...

WOW: So what is his member with her foot?

I was even scared to get burned :)

He: I have been doing a penis for three years.
Maybe tennis.
He: May be

by Anastasia V.
I wonder, is there now a movie about normal, mentally healthy people, passionate about doing something interesting and useful? Except for porn, of course.

At the literature lesson in the 11th grade, devoted to the victory in the university, the teacher asked my (o) classmate:
U: What do you think, Irina, what were the motives of the Soviet people to go to the military commissions, take arms in hand and register for the shipment to the front?
A: (after a long silence) - Nina Ivanovna, I don't know, I haven't taught.