bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №14481
 13.02.2009
A person averages 70 grams of strawberries (if it is cooked it will swell :)), we take 100 grams, and if he will eat 3 times a day, then for a month about 9 kg of strawberries is necessary for a person, we take 10, considering that 1 kg of strawberries is worth 35 rubles, 10 kg * 35 rubles = 350 rubles, the result - a month you can live on 350 rubles, + 50 rubles will remain, for example, on salt / sugar / butter for flour :), this is only interesting to look at a person who from day to day eats strawberries for a month...
________
Go off with these bills! Do not let God the government read - the salary of all Russia will be recounted!

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14480
 13.02.2009
The boys who in their childhood had an Aztec leopard hat, gloves on rubber and a Red Plasma Horse on wheels.

And you remember there was such a blue dirt on which the monk was turning, but the bearing was clogged with dust. The disk lived under the couch, and throw out the pity? And there was a super car with pedals and a set of iron dancers-blowers made of pieces of iron - well, it was very painful to kick them!

And you are the generation of pepsi, up to 95 wins.

Z is. And the very first soda - "Hershi-Cola - taste the taste of victory!"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14479
 13.02.2009
Shampoo advertising is not false. I used a hair shampoo for about a month, instead of foam for baths and indeed - my hair on my legs became more voluminous and purple!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №14478
 13.02.2009
I warn you in advance: go naked with your Saint Valentine.

Natsu

[ + 101 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14477
 13.02.2009
Do you remember Vietnamese cakes?
The knee of children?
Table hockey with a blatant neighbor?
God, let me remember what year is this?
And remember those woven gloves, yes, on the rubber of old pants,
Our Happy Parents
...Gagarine...Harlamov...Blochin...Morgunov...
You remember, we chewed gum for a week,
Put it in the refrigerator at night?
Do you remember the eagle? This was great!!! to
He was destroyed before our children lived.
Do you remember the old school courtyard?
And the first, with a night in tents, a walk?
And you remember, we decided to kiss...
God let me remember what year is this?
So, if you remember, go out of your soul!
What kind of Europe, America, LA? A “unhappy childhood”? – is
Go to Fig.
You will no longer be happy...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14476
 13.02.2009
Conversation by SMS.
She - well what you are doing. You are late for half an hour.
I’m sorry, my mom arrested me. had to help. I will soon!
She is OK. Do not lie?
I swear by him that he is not a liar.
She can throw anything out of her. I’ve been watching for half an hour, my dear, how you kill some devils in your compass.
He is fucking...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14475
 13.02.2009
and Tiffy:
I slept with these little ones.

and Tiffy:
I’ve been in my ass all night.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №14474
 13.02.2009
jiyuu: it’s a pipe, we guys are either already busy or full of loops :'(
Hex: Ol, I’m free at all, if I...
Jiyuu: See also above

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №14473
 13.02.2009
My husband and I always have trouble going to the pharmacy.
- Hello, you can pack a pack of condoms and a pad (for a grandmother who can't get to the toilet by herself).

or

Can I get 4 packs of bandages and condoms?

or

- Good night, can I have ice caine (anesthetic), 2 syringes and a pack of condoms?

I feel that soon in the pharmacy we will be considered maniacs.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №14472
 13.02.2009
Yai_feia (11:54:52 11/02/2009)
All of the office is rugged!!! to
We got electricity that came from China with batteries, so there on each box is written: "Dahua battery"

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №14471
 13.02.2009
Fuck, we’re all day...I come home, I want to rest and read funny quotes, not morally instructive and fucking everything!They fall!
Talk about life in the kitchen.

I know nobody plays...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №14470
 13.02.2009
Zhenya from Peter (in the car) who bought a Nokia e71 from me on February 10 - I forgot to put a charger in the set. Call me, I don’t have your number. and married. (Take a look at the "Best"

[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14469
 13.02.2009
Dear citizens of my heart, Russians, Slavs! in advance, I sincerely apologize that the quote is not funny, but this is the most massive smith in the runnet!(responses of myself, I got drunk and fucked 20 bodies are not accepted), and really proud?because looking at society I am surprised, fellowship and cohesion.like wolves for a piece of meat...this is our country,our,where we live,I don't know how you,but I don't want to give it to scratch!young people build ideals with club addicts and drunk fun weekends,every year,more dumb and dumb,and ideals,drunk,dumb,to tell how you hit the instance or over somebody dumbed!we build ourselves and break the ideals and relationships,I was witnessing,as in the hospital man,when the doctors went badly to help people 40 minutes, I walked quietly,so masculine, and I...the

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14468
 13.02.2009
I go to nightclubs for 7 years - no one has offered me methamphetamine there.

The born will not fly.
When you go to clubs, do not forget to take off the police shirt.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14467
 13.02.2009
Viskla: At the universe today was the Aztec lot. Concert on Valentine’s Day.
The rector sits... all the dean sits... the predecessors and so on.
There is a small competition between performances. 4 spectators, divided into two teams.
The task: to name as many famous romantic couples as possible - symbols of eternal love.
They are called and called. "Kate and Leo, Tristan and Isolde.....and td".
In one couple is a real blonde (by IQ level)... stands silent... suddenly in her eyes appears a spark of enlightenment and she breaks out the microphone of the partner to the whole hall stating: Ivan Tsarevich and the Grey Wolf - a dumb second two silences and everyone starts to slip under the chairs - she sees that the thing is not in order and running - And with them Elena Beautiful.
Viskla: Here the fantasy included all =)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14466
 13.02.2009
A real story... a case on a pair of military training.
Prep: in the event of a nuclear explosion, you need to lie with your feet in its side, so that you can see where the eggs will fly.
Student: Yeah, it’s better to look at the explosion, but it’s the last time.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14465
 13.02.2009
The Rambler:
Residents of the Tomsk suburb decided to rename the street of Oslaby

Why?!!! to

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14464
 13.02.2009
At the general meeting today, one of the leaders burned.
I recently heard the phrase: “90% of the company’s employees are dissatisfied with the situation.”
As a person, I would very much like to see someone out of the remaining 10 percent. Look at his happy face and ask what he is happy about.
c) Diggerzz

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14463
 13.02.2009
The real loser is when you passed the whole session except for one subject, and on the last possible day of its transfer, you get stuck with the body, late for half an hour, you have not even prepared, and you are somehow put out perfectly, and you rejoice to the whole audience: "Ahuet!", and you are deducted for immoral behavior during the exam... :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №14462
 13.02.2009
"Time is money" Money is temporary.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna