bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85527
 13.08.2013
My wife told. She works in the company. The night shift is carried by a factory bus. She left the bus stop (where the bus constantly picked up her) and waited. The place is dark and further along the road are often night butterflies. Away from her face.
A jeep enters, a window is opened, there are several bodies in it.
Are they working?
I (thinking that it is colleagues at the factory who decided to dismiss it) - I work.
So they sat down!
I’d rather wait for the bus.
You would see their eyes.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85526
 13.08.2013
She: Fuck, even when we’re just talking about these topics, I start wanting you right away.
He: I didn’t even think I was so sexy :-[ thank you
It is: well
She: Maybe I’m just so lustful.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85525
 13.08.2013
From the hubra, discussion of the pseudoscope:
x: There is a hypothesis that the first days after birth the child most of the time sees the ceiling of white, which shows the balance of white.
That is, guess it! If the ceiling was not white, the balance of white would be broken for life. How to calibrate the child again?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85524
 13.08.2013
XXX: I would better emulator of the network infrastructure HP
YYY: and the world, the pink dress and the bulldog puppy
No, no, the cat
YYY: a puppy cat is strong
YYY: Like the bulldog cat

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85523
 13.08.2013
If life was like in RPG games:
You write the hello world program 10,000 times, and you get to a cool programmer!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85522
 13.08.2013
Wise: thoughtful crime requires the mind, knowledge, resilience, the ability to plan, self-discipline, the ability to quickly navigate in extreme situations.
A man possessing such qualities will find his application and without crimes, the rest - the area!! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85521
 13.08.2013
Go with a friend (P) after work "by souls" to talk. My girlfriend has been on a diet for the third day. He said to the waitress (O):
Q: Do you have fresh celery?
A: Yes, of course, there is celery and carrots and bananas.
P (after two seconds of reflection, breathing out): cool, you have a good coffee! I have Long Island, please.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85520
 13.08.2013
White wire differs from black in that in the first case you want to copy, and in the second - to remove.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85519
 13.08.2013
I don’t know whether to cry or laugh. The former came to visit his son (he found a time for three years). In the hallway he tried to arrange a universal scandal about "somebody else's men's shoes." The son's phrase from the room: "Father, these are my shoes at all" drove the former into a stupor, and when the son came out and looked at him from the top down, - into a megastupor.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85518
 13.08.2013
Wife of husband:
- If you are sent to Siberia, I will, of course, go with you, but the jacket should be bought in advance.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85517
 13.08.2013
While living on the fifth floor of the house of the 96th series, he once again experienced a special orgasm... Gosha Koshchkin, he himself, Mudak Tail at three o’clock at night in the apartment caught a mouse. And the fate seems to be clear...Annie is not! I went to work at seven in the morning and found her healthy, but somewhat sick. He fed the poor and left. I came back from work at three o’clock. What I see is a cat lying in the hallway and looking at a mouse, a healthy, unharmed, beautiful mouse... She runs away, he takes her gently into his teeth and brings her back to place, then goes to bed and smiles to her... I took the scarf and let it go into the hallway... The pacifist is eagerly fed – the prelude to death for 12 hours... and nibble.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №85516
 13.08.2013
I prepared a borst. A girl came to visit. has eaten. And she said, "I probably get married to you!" Something... worried.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85515
 13.08.2013
Who thinks that the new generation is not lost?
In the yard we have a quiet corner, there is shadow, grass, trees grow, and there once a day I come to feed the homeless cats.
The holidays are coming to an end and the kids are coming home. And what I saw a few days ago – in this corner appeared a “rest area” with seating spaces flanked by wooden paddles. Everything is even signed on the deck. All around, there is "smoking" (these children are 9-10 years old!) And there is a toilet, 3 meters from their yard. Apparently, 2 minutes to run home to spend laziness, and their own urine and shit do not smell them. And in order to sign all this culturally, these squirrels broke the brick on which I put dry food, so that it does not wet in the meadows after the rain.

It’s not just a new generation, it’s a new generation of all the same p###races.


[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №85514
 13.08.2013
There is a hypothesis that the first days after birth the child most of the time sees the ceiling of white, on which white balance is displayed.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY If the ceiling was not white, the balance of white would be broken for life. How to calibrate the child again?
zzz: In the system menu, drop the settings to factory settings. But probably everything else will have to be calibrated.
XXX: Remove the settings. But then he will be writing in the plank again.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85513
 13.08.2013
Will the cat play Habansky?

How could you think so? Handless of course.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85512
 13.08.2013
Why are there no films on production topics today?
It should be written in Tajik language.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85511
 13.08.2013
xxx: what will you do if I gently approach you, hug you by the waist and whisper "Hello Zay"
YYY: YYYYYY
ZZZ: A good girl

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85510
 13.08.2013
The Anti-Piracy Law? It seems to me that it is THEY who should pay us that we would watch and listen to their intellectual property... and then as we stop killing time, as we begin to work from boredom, so immediately all of this "civilized" and the shit will come =D

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85509
 13.08.2013
I survived..... I studied in the auto school, became very smart)) the road to the auto school lies through the railway with a pedestrian trail) one day I had to cross the road not on the pedestrian trail, since the locomotive stopped there.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85508
 13.08.2013
XXX: Yes, bribery is the oldest income, similar to prostitution.
Remember, even before Christ there were tax collectors.
xxx: I’m even sure that the hydrogen gave someone a free convertible to get his number in the Mendeleev table.
XXX: Even in the Time of the Big Bang
There was no hydrogen then.
When the vacancies were recruited
YYY: This is then a group of quarks by preliminary conspiracy...
XXX is burning
xxx: group of quarks in conspiracy is strong

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