I sit at work and the phone rings:

Employee: I run the browser and I don’t have the internet!
I: And what does the browser write to you?
Employee: Browser writes that my time has expired...

Somehow it didn’t go straight. horrendously

philologist from the cellular communication salon,
I raise my glass for your health.

here here :
I go in the bus sits a cute girl... well, of course, the thought of picking up something... and she in the meantime gets a tablet and begins to solve the puzzle, well, I think in general, the puzzle is still smart and also the reason I begin to help uncertainly after finding her 12 logical mistakes I understood that I don’t want to get acquainted but the puzzle is crazy)

You are so, young man. The girl was probably confused by your "insignificance" and thought only about how to get rid of you, not a puzzle. In addition, looking into someone else’s books/tablets/notebooks in public transportation is not quite uncomfortable, but it’s still better not to do so. I am, for instance, terribly embarrassed when comrades like you begin to comment on my books, I get lost and respond unhappily. Find another way to meet.

He started walking in the pool.
Oh the hammer!
Unfortunately the tail.

I did not think that there are such people who are not lazy to switch from the standard English layout to Russian, enter the search bar of the browser, wait until the result of the query loads with a slow Internet connection and then click on the first link. Moreover, I did not suspect that one of these people recently completed 4 courses of the university in the specialty "Information Systems and Technologies".

I went out on the balcony to smoke yesterday in the middle of the night, or even in the morning.
You know, I have a football field and parking under the window, and around the houses a bunch, everywhere, respectively, the windows do not burn - everyone is asleep, wake up like no other.
Oh yeah, I remember
Okay, I’m smoking and I’m chewing.
Does anyone want to be healthy?
Three or four choir voices from my house said from different sides, after half a second from the parking lot of some male and female choir voices wished and afterwards from the house opposite, and before him 150m, someone spotted more.
WOW: You sneeze loudly, strange that I didn’t hear it

My 75-year-old uncle Troll...

I knocked on the door and got the wrong apartment.

Where is Grandma?
She got married and moved.
You are what?
Yes, this is...

X: Primorsky 19 from Kalina with the driver’s safety pillow,
Can anyone tell me how long she is flying?

Y: So you buy or sell?

He was on a trip to Zurich (Switzerland), a colleague of local guests and told the story.
He goes home last summer, and there are suburbs on the slope of such and the streets all loop. He runs and after another turn, an elephant stands at the crossroads. by itself. and silence.
The comrade brakes. is waiting. The elephant too. He thinks of something, an elephant. Comrade checks the roof - as if everything is in place. Indeed, it is strange here - such an ordinary elephant in the suburbs of Zurich. Entirely peaceful.

Half a minute later, the people ran, the elephant came - it turned out that from the nearby moving circus went unnoticed. And went for a walk.

It happens.

The name:
Number: +7922*******
The content:
You will stand out we will submit to the property division I already hired a lawyer tomorrow myself to you with the police will come
Time: 04.06.2013 07:51:34

The SMS came on the USB modem. Turbulent personal life with my modem, and I didn’t know...

It is said that an Apple employee shortly before the release forgot, it is believed, the iPhone with iOS7 in the bar, but no one took it.

from JJ:

Dad commands standing on a table near the wall. I tear away the old wallpapers, tint the wall so that there are no irregularities, measure the wall, cut the wallpapers, disconnect the glue, lubricate the wallpaper with this fucking glue, apply it to the wall, rub it to squeeze the air, my floor after all this.
This process is called "Daddy glues wallpaper", and I then say "Daddy is tired, did you help him?"

Every time I see these new-fashioned touch monitors, I remember the computer science office in my school, which I graduated seven years ago. And tablets above each compost with the inscription: "Do not touch the screen with your finger!!! There is a mouse for that!"

I talk to my brother:
Batya yesterday got drunk and told how he experimented with drugs in his youth.
I wondered why you and I were so foolish.

How much ride, a fun guy.
Funny, but damn, sometimes it is really embarrassing with him! It is funny, but shameful!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mean? When is it?
Yes, at least recently! We go on the street, and here is someone's bracelet, or this shit for eyelids, I don't know at all. And I should have said "oh, Kohl, don’t need it?"...
WOW: he is looking, and all the way down the street with such a piodoric voice "O GOD, THIS IS THE Same EXPRESS FROM MEEBELIN NEW YORK WITH COLLAGEN EFFECT!!! I always dreamed!He picked it up, he also sang “Mabelin from New York, and you from MABLIYIN,” then he threw it into a nearby urn and went on as if nothing had happened...

to this:

The customer submitted a change to the design:
"Please add the pixels to the layout and send it to pre-range coordination."
The whole team decided to drop a kilo (2)))

It is still clear: you made a layout in low resolution not enough for printing. Who do you doctor that you are crazy designers and patch layouts with low-resolution pictures spotted from random sites.

The Great Thinkers:
____________________________
Here are the bacteria underneath my toilet
I am sorry :)
They have changed several civilizations, their culture.
I remember that my toilet is not cleaned.
I take the domastos and I start filling all the naher.
WOW: And they panic—they can’t understand what my goals are and what I want=)
I just clean the toilet.
I am sorry :)
WOW: And I think maybe the inoplasms that will fly to destroy us are just cleaning the galaxy’s bottom. No one has come to my mind yet.
___________________________________

Read the books, ladies and gentlemen! Even in the “Picknick on the sidelines” of Strugatsky, there was a scientist whose theory was that aliens just made a stop on Earth, a rush, a picnic, and we had a “Zona”, a disaster, artifacts... How is it, ah.

Post by VKontakte:
Betrayal can only be in an official marriage. And without it it is called casting."
No, it’s called bling.

C Edaltmangi
Women’s solidarity is so feminine and solidary.
Yyy: Said the one who has no serious success with women
XXX: I am not upset. When I grow up, I will show it to everyone. I will have hundreds of bodies and you will be jealous of me.
yyy: writes a person who is 30 =_="

The uncomfortable moment when your younger brother had sex before you.