bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117341
 15.08.2015
My father slitting the dead aquarium fish into the toilet told me not a cautious phrase said in the sea let it live, the next day I released all the fish in the sea...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117340
 15.08.2015
xxx: Walked through Nevsky, saw a sign: music, movies, games, erotics, x-box. Does anyone else buy it on the discs?
yyy: Normal, it is old faith )))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117339
 15.08.2015
The fly and the magazine combine the love of shit. But the flies just eat it, and the journalists are still trying to feed others.

Joseph of Egypt

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №117338
 15.08.2015
He humanly

Did you see Sonia coming?
I thought she had been fired. They said that they would cleanse from these, these organs all. After the doctors.
No, I haven’t heard of her yet. It’s a pity if they get ripped. They are both with their mother, and a single Sunny works at all. A good girl. And beautiful such! You won’t say she’s Jewish.
Okay, you see right away, what are you? But the girl is not bad, everyone smiles. Maybe he pretends. They are shameless like that. And all with a whirlwind, not like people. Don’t worry, they won’t disappear. They always have money. You better worry about yourself! Why are you looking for her? Are you missing?
Okay to you! Stepanic ordered to send him. He will be fired and will be.
Sonia entered the office of the district prosecutor, smiling and not expecting anything bad, like any of her joyful eighteen-year-old peers. Besides, she knew that Vasily Stepanic treats her very well, always putting a candy on the table or an apple, and sometimes even joking, pulling her hair. He is called the “best hair of the Moscow Prosecutor’s Office”. And he always leaves classes at the institute, although he is often delayed in the evenings. And on the holiday of the Soviet Army, when the whole evening Sonya played the piano and sang, even under her accompaniment performed "Nicca cola luna" and kissed Sonya in the forehead. He was really drunk.
and sit down. How are yours? Do you manage? And at the Institute? What is your course, do I forget? Are they offending us? The fronts are simple people.
Sonia understood that it was a song that could not be answered. He called her for something else, but it is unclear why.
I called you. You know, I don’t like to turn! You are a literate girl, you know the situation in the country. And what an evil role yours play in it, these, how to say, like you, you are... Well, Jews, in short, you apologize. You won’t throw words out of the song. I didn’t expect it, I even had friends at school with some. But not about that. In general, it is not good, one can say, not humane, even hostile, as it now turns out, conducted very even many citizens of the Jewish nationality, although we have shielded them from the fascist disgust. And they, you mean, all looked abroad. I’m not talking about these wicked ones who, under the mask of doctors, trapped and actually killed our best comrades. Well, this is what we are doing on the investigative line, and I am now about you. You have no specific claims, you work well, you are literate, you are studying again and at the piano too... But you must understand. It is because of my good relationships with you that I say so. The fate of everyone is almost clear. It is already the details where you live will determine - in Trans-Baikal there or elsewhere in the north or in Asia, but the issue of deportation is almost solved. And I address you as a comsomolk and, in spite of everything, a good man. You’re dating a guy, Valentine seems. A good Russian guy. The Front. All the war - without a single scratch and returned alive, mother to joy. Do you have enough conscience to destroy his life? Did he deserve it? If you are, as we have always thought, a worthy person, you must move him away from you! It is not human to pull him into a hole. Think about it. You will not be fired, but you will work for a short time. Let the guy go. Well go. As I said, there are no complaints to you. Tell her to bring me tea.
Sonia left the reception room, did not remember how she waited for the end of the working day, and rushed home. Thro the day, she did not say a word, but something inside trembled, and her hands were so frozen, as if it was not July, but February. I could not print at all. It does not matter. Now it is no longer important.
As she was driving in the subway, she suddenly caught a few surprised looks. It was indifferent, but automatically she carried her hand on her hair, then on her face. The hand was wet. And when she lowered her eyes, she saw that a dark spot on the coloured old dress came from tears. How uncomfortable! You cannot scream at people. It is a shame, everyone is watching. Or maybe they’re looking because they guess she’s not a criminal? Are not her mother, aunt, cousins and grandmother of Guth the criminals? After all, it is well known that it is not the criminals, but only about my mom and dad's relatives, who were shot by the Germans. The others are in doubt. Like her.
On the platform she was waiting for Valka, smiling in the face from afar. I have to tell him to leave. Vasily Stepanych is right, you cannot ruin the life of a person who loves you so much. How to tell him? Maybe he doesn’t know all this. He does not understand the danger he is facing.
When Valka saw Sonino’s face, he was terrified. What happened? Mother? She couldn’t invent anything, she couldn’t lie at all. She pulled him out in the tampon of the electric car and, without wiping tears, told the whole conversation today. and silenced. And it seemed to her that the wheels of the wagon were so roaring at the junctions that a terrible iron sound knocked her over the head, killing her to the floor. But then she heard another sound. Walk was laughing! How he laughed! His whisper silenced and knocked the wheels, and the steam wheels, and the voice in the reproducer, and the talk of passengers.
You are lucky, Sophia, that I am a peasant’s son. Who in the north will build a house for you and save the earth? It would be good to be sent to the taiga, there is hunting right from the threshold, not that I am now riding a hundred kilometers on the sidewalks! Wipe out the sludge, or I told my mother that you are a beautiful woman, and I will bring you now a roasted and hunted! You are not ashamed of me!
They lived together for 52 years... They were my parents... Tomorrow my dad would be 94.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №117337
 15.08.2015
A man and a cat.
“Oh,” said the man, “my wife gave birth to a trio yesterday.
“Don’t worry,” the cat replied, “you’ll give it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №117336
 15.08.2015
Two years ago I was driving with a dog, I was driving, a dog in the rear seat. The windows are open, warm.

The light. Suits a man with a sign "deafness, give", I pretend I can’t see. He decides to attract attention and lean, trying to push his poster to me almost in the window. And here from the rear seat is distributed the heavy "RYAV". The deafman jumps from surprise and with a matte leaps away from the car.

The green was already lit, and the three streets of our direction could not touch - everyone who saw, on the wheels from the hump fell. Canisterapy - it sometimes happens, yes - the deaf hear, the dumb talk.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117335
 15.08.2015
At work, performing a very monotonous activity - gathering information about organizations (telephone, email, hyo-yo) - stumbled on one curious site.
They sell sex coatings, - tiles, carpets, laminate and so on. A website like a website, nothing noticeable. And here in front of your eyes is a promotional offer - "All who made an order at night from 00:00 to 06:00 - a discount of 10%!".
I throw up the situation - in the courtyard at two o'clock at night, and I call and give - "baby, I got bored with something, hang me a parquet of squares for twenty, I will cook the tea while ".
I joked, I laughed myself.
A little later I realized that if I wanted to change the sex, I would be calling THERE and THERE at night.
High quality advertising.
It’s like the tablets on the columns with just one word and a phone number:"Have you noticed? 8-910-XX-XX-XX"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117334
 15.08.2015
I am sitting in my old office today. There seem to be plastic flowers. And it doesn’t even seem surprising 😉

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117333
 15.08.2015
I like it! 😉
Tagged: notably

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117332
 15.08.2015
The resident of Ukraine, who lives in Crimea, gave him a child. He came to her in violation of some rules of entry into the country. and married. And then Ukraine decided to deport him probably. The UN tried with their system, and it was allowed, because of the need to maintain and raise the child, to issue immigration. It was done. Crimea became Russian. And his entry into the Crimea is not entirely legal under our rules. And he began to trial with our FMS. The court granted him the right to be a Russian citizen. It looks like everything is OK!
But no, he came back to Anapa (I don’t know why? Is this the nearest court? Why not in Crimea? In general, now complained that he is not called or written, and does not explain the reason for the slowness.
The most funny thing is that when I read the document I was admired and astonished. I admired that the document was composed with a bunch of complicated phrases, words - it is cool for a foreigner to write in Russian. And what he wrote - I did not doubt, because there were so many simple grammar errors! %) Fractions and faces did not coincide at all %) And I wondered - why not give it was to make a document to a specialist, so that these mistakes were not, it was really hard to read :unknown:
And here on the last page we read: " translation from Ukrainian to Russian made by the translator Tammamburbalyeva Ajan"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117331
 15.08.2015
xxx:I entered your universe and I am very pleased with this, but fuck, a new collective, preds, etc. You are not insulting the first class? :)
YYY: When you go into the community, first ask what skin you are now, who is in the room, you say the article, how to call yourself. Fengyu is better taught in advance, it is desirable to take a couple of blocks of cigarettes and sweaters with you, yet dried fruits are good, only 8 kg. Give the money to Paganini immediately. If you bring it with you, your authority will increase immediately. All right, 6 years is not a time limit.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117330
 15.08.2015
lived with grandma.
Three happy goats.
Their fools were crushed.
Lord Jesus

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117329
 15.08.2015
We are talking about Windows 10.

xxx: You need to read the license agreement more carefully – it is written in white in English:

“The spy, starting after you as a spy, gives you the opportunity to give up spying. If you do not opt out within 12 seconds, this is automatically considered to confirm your consent to be the subject of espionage and your acceptance of the terms of the espionage service. According to the terms of the service, it is prohibited to spy on a spy in the process of spying on you, and the refusal of the service of spying can be made only with the mutual consent of all parties involved in the process - the spy, the object of spying and the party that has previously entered into an agreement with the spy to receive information collected in the process of spying.
and :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117328
 15.08.2015
Following the advertisement:
IKEA - we will bring your excellence to school!

DUREX - we will bring your duo to the institute!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №117327
 15.08.2015
A beggar with a baby in his arms always sleeps.
He sleeps because he is pumped with vodka to avoid disturbance.
The money collected by beggars goes far up.
Children are usually strangers, stolen from families of alcoholics.

By giving money to beggars, you support this system.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117326
 15.08.2015
I liked the story of the pop, especially:
"I did not ask for a gift or..."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117325
 15.08.2015
XXX: Something is fatal to your department. Didn’t you all be born on Monday?
YYY: And our office opened, by the way, on Monday. The first number. in the high year. To be sure.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117324
 15.08.2015
The fire on the Moscow River:
According to the Ministry of Emergency Affairs, the blame for the fire on the Moscow river is not the oil companies.
The river burned from careless handling of the fire, from the shale. The river, Karl!!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117323
 15.08.2015
fotl: I'm playing eve online and we have one such Asian in the timspike, a good guy, but it's something surreal in the middle of the cold space to hear something like: "Eyey, listen, and I'm in the warp to jump into this... like him?... Wormhol Mormhol?"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117322
 15.08.2015
I have neighbors from above natural fans of Game of Thrones :(
In the meaning?
If you believe the sounds from above, they first fuck each other and then kill each other.
or in reverse order.

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