bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №126941
 17.04.2016
The other day was a medical commission, and I was very surprised that there was no grandmother in the ranks in the hospital. I guess where did it all go? After I get on the bus (the next on the country route) - Here are they!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126940
 17.04.2016
>> You know you are dealing with specific
Legal matters of property. You are not
Family psychologist and not a priest, stay
within its competence.

As far as I know, she is a lawyer at the company. She does not provide paid legal services to the population, and in good will give advice to employees - in a private way. You can give, you can not give. It can be upset and send offensive, in eë competence these advice are not included.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126939
 17.04.2016
My grandmother was a cook, and sometimes she was filmed on TV for a show about mom and baby. Once she showed me a recipe and said, “To do this, you need to take whey oil.” And the leader asks: "What oil is this? I have never heard of it". And the grandmother answers: "This is specially prepared butter. We heat it to a certain temperature, and when we squeeze it in the hand, it between the fingers does so - Vzzkik!"

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №126938
 17.04.2016
The psychopath. My colleague and I take a candidate exam in psychiatry. Answering on the topic "the method of polygraphy and its application", the postgraduate student explains the history of a lie detector. It tells about how in ancient India, the investigator, answering the question of the judge, beat the gong, and by the sound of the blow determined whether he said the truth; how in ancient China determined a lie by the degree of dry rice in the mouth of the suspect, etc. My colleague and I did not know this, and we spotted from the depth of her knowledge (the method with gong is almost a complete analogue of the combined motor technique of A. Luria). When asked how she knows this, the graduate student, humbly squeezed, answers that she specifically studied a lot of literature on this topic. Without a doubt, we put “excellent.” A week later, the 11-year-old son literally in the same terms tells me the same story of lying detection and says that he learned it from the "physics" series.



Conclusion: Good began to do cartoons, allow to pass the candidate in the 3rd year of graduate studies.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126937
 17.04.2016
When I was 16, my parents didn’t allow my boyfriend to stay with me, and I inscenized his care by knocking through the front door and hiding his clothes. Before everyone went to bed, he was hiding behind a curtain on the window. Once my dad came into my room and said, "I won't bother you," he sat all night behind the comp.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126936
 17.04.2016
Everyone so rushed to condemn the mistresses of married husbands, directly a gathering of moralophages. At least someone at the same time condemned the side of these very men, whispering all around, deceiving the closest. What a poor mentality you have.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126935
 17.04.2016
Coincidence sometimes makes me happy. I go out on the balcony today and admire the view. I say: "Good morning, Kiev!" And then after a couple of seconds the look falls on the phone - and there in the inst notification: "Kiev_online signed up on you". I greeted :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126934
 17.04.2016
If a woman has three years to date a married man, what does it really matter to her whether he is married or not?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126933
 17.04.2016
Perm Zoo website. Which I still have to go! Go to the Zoo website!
Survey "How often do you visit the zoo". The answer, leading with a huge gap, is 69% "Never".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126932
 17.04.2016
A acquaintance says:
And we call the cat Murchendaiser.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126931
 17.04.2016
Why don’t you wash your feet?
I have them, every month. Almost...
Do you wash your socks?
Regularly, in May, as the rain goes, I soak in a barrel.
In June they begin to bend, in July they gain flexibility, in August they become soft.
By September I sink the powder and screw with a perforator with a veil.)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126930
 17.04.2016
I noticed a charming pattern: even if the whole cartoon has a very small chest, as soon as it begins to appear, the tenacles plus two or four sizes immediately increase!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126929
 17.04.2016
I will try to advise

Everyone has different hobbies. I am bringing into the house every useful or beautiful sludge, sometimes even from the laundry, then turning into interior design items or just into economic little things such as door stops. Recently I managed to swing two ceramic insulators from a disassembled lamp pillar, they are so cool on the touch, smooth, heavy... I wonder where are they best set up?

If the insulator from the 10 kV line (such a flying plate with a diameter of ~20 cm), then these are fun candlesticks. And if white, with a cane on the top - undoubtedly stacks, which after pouring alcohol can not be put on the table, because they will turn over :-)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126928
 17.04.2016
I can’t guess, Mr. This Romeo did not explain his absences, because they did not exist. I met at work, met with friends. We went on vacation together. He did not wear the engagement ring, his passport with a stamp in front of his nose.
He very much liked to grieve about the disorder of his single life, while making "the cat's eyes of "Shrek". At home, he was waiting for a legal wife, whom he married two months before we met.

Very curious, and what was the legal spouse thinking all that time?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126927
 17.04.2016
>>> and sometimes dad leopard fucking daughter
......
That’s because she doesn’t want to eat grass.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126926
 17.04.2016
and incomprehensible:

And how you a mistress, who learned after three years that there is no wife, just a man is so comfortable (the ZAGS is not pulled)

I didn’t understand, she wasn’t arranged that he wasn’t married? Two fools found each other.

Rather, she was not pleased that he had hanged the straw on her ears for 3 years, and she was furiously glad that his wife's horns were growing. And here’s the rubbish: "You lied to me for 3 years!11" and [...]

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126925
 17.04.2016
today half a day lying on the couch read the internet in the tablet, realized that in vain I waste time, so all day you can fail, I sit in the cafe reading the internet in the tablet

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126924
 17.04.2016
Watch the film "War and Peace" from the Air Force:
Who won this war?
There were spoilers in the history textbook for the 9th grade... and now look.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №126923
 17.04.2016
The spirit of adventure disappears with time. Here, for example, my ex liked that when her parents sent her for the summer to my grandmother in Ukraine, at the age of 12, she successfully hid and fed a cat for 3 months on the roof, at 13 she was distinguished by the fact that when she was entrusted to pasture rural cows, she tied them with ropes in a network of the type "star" so that they didn't fade, and at 14 she gathered rural children and went with them across the border to Romania.

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