bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100714
 19.07.2014
The Lord of the Rings in Goblin's translation. Mom makes sandwiches and mocked the cat. Mom: What does he need? The voice from the columns: he wants to eat, hungry, will walk around... Mom: they hear us!!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №100713
 19.07.2014
How did you get your nuts about the perforator!
There are no drills and perforators, this is what I am making a milk cocktail in the blender in the morning.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100712
 19.07.2014
For 4 years, he walked with his hair to his shoulders, usually doing a screw and in the tail. I decided to shave myself, and the machine broke it all. Now I have a unique hairstyle "headset with a piercing".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100711
 19.07.2014
Today on the job search site found a vacancy of a remote copywriter. In general, they need a copywriter who can “grammatically and beautifully express their thoughts.”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №100710
 19.07.2014
from JJ:
As for hamsters: the animal is absolutely unpredictable, pulls any ugliness into the mouth.
In acquaintances sick hamster - lying does not get up, he lifts his head and runs, does not eat anything. It turned out, hiding behind the cheek a healthy coat all day, something good. But falling down, it’s heavy for the hammer :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100709
 19.07.2014
The kiosks are broken. Some man with a very sleepy appearance (in the middle of the day) whispers into the window:
Give me two in one...
Kiyoskercha, not moving (hotly)
Are they different or the same?
The man fell into a stupor.
c) Aglaia

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100708
 19.07.2014
and...
Through the efforts of a humanitarian journalist, our Institute of High-Precision Electronics was transformed into the Institute of High-Precision Electronics. And the term "hole conductivity" seemed unsound and turned into "hole conductivity".
and...

A lot has been heard in the translations of scientific terms, but the "hole conductivity" is the fifth...
By the way, according to the generally accepted©" (this is what technicians are pushed at seminars on the theory of scientific knowledge who have) versions such scams happen because technicians are not able to clearly explain what they are doing.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100707
 19.07.2014
The daughter was approximately 3 years old, well, as usual, some aunt loves the child, asks standard questions:
Girl, what is your name?
Natasha...
How old are you?
Three...
Do you have any animals?
The dogs!
What kind of dog do you have?
I fuck these dogs!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100706
 19.07.2014
Twenty years ago we bought the plot, which we now live in, so this plot was from the Ministry of Defense and was located on the former field. Much of it we found in the ground gills, ammunition, shells from the BTR, and I was exclusively lucky that this same BTR stood on the site with a cut-off head and all his bridges he grew into the ground. You can only get it by a lifting crane, you can imagine that we were responding to the construction organizations!
Do you have a lifting crane?
So, what type of load you need?
The biggest, because it has to be pulled out of the ground.
What to withstand
Tank, in the sense of BTR
and............
The most cultural response was "In voice you’re like an adult and your jokes are absolutely not relevant". It was more often...

[ + 11 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100705
 19.07.2014
It won’t help: the terrorists now have a wonderful system of Russian production – Cuba. It shoots down passenger Boeings at an altitude of 10 km.
— — — —
First, turn your brains on and ask what exactly is, the Book or the Cube. And secondly, read the analytics and you will quickly understand who had to shoot down this plane, remembering similar incidents in Yugoslavia.
===
I beg you – what brains? in the head of the salt. What analyst, what to read - to jump, who does not jump that moscal.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100704
 19.07.2014
Can I invite you to dinner?
I do not eat at night.
Then you can go to the cinema.
I go with torrents.
You can just go to me and watch TV.
“The box” I threw out three years ago, there is nothing to look at.
I don’t know, I can see the pictures.
Looking at unfamiliar grandparents? Oh no!
Can you tell yourself what you love?
I love sex, but you don’t seem to be interested in it.
You should have enough of the vibrator.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100703
 19.07.2014
c of support

The BottleGame:

We checked the start of the game - on our part everything works perfectly.

by Nikita:
I want to play too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100702
 19.07.2014
All this is very remarkable, but does not give a reason in the official text to use the words "spotting" and "unspotting". The duty of the humanitarian editor now is to grasp the subtleties of cost-building in order to understand how to translate this jassel Russian into normal. Because the smart technician for some reason did not know the correct name of what he was working with.
----------
Ryu is rushing! Tell me now that resistance is an action, not an object, and cannot be used in multiples! I am a technical translator. Why do my colleagues, linguists-technical translators, first study the subject area and terminology, and only then begin to translate the technical text? Yes, so that customers-technicians do not laugh at their yellow "humanitarian"! Don’t want to study terminology, then edit female novels, and do not touch technical texts.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100701
 19.07.2014
Brig: If I heard this Owen song from the car, I would find
There was something singing.
Brig: I recorded as I heard
Brig: "I close my eyes and see the old sweaters
Brig: Then something "I see her"
Tagged: burning
I close my eyes and see the forests of Jamaica.
I see her golden beaches.
I see her beautiful women.
His faces are sad.
What a boolean, what a boolean.
Argentina and Jamaica 5:0
Fuck it seriously? I thought he offered me Argentina-Jamaica.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100700
 19.07.2014
And, yes, I have saliva when I see an appetizing animal, even if it is still alive.
and----
Don’t look at me like that!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100699
 19.07.2014
If you didn’t get married before the age of 20, then it’s too early. by PIKABU

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100698
 19.07.2014
I’ve noticed that every time I’m asked about where I work. More and more people want to answer that in the plantation (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100697
 19.07.2014
On the shoulder a leather bag, or leather shoes.
= the =
Glass, wood and wood.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100696
 19.07.2014
I add

Another humanitarian
____________________
Dear humanitarian man!
The basis of road clothes is a sink on which the asphalt or plates (road clothes) are laid. And if it will be changed to "non-spout", it means replacing the soil at the base of the road with one that will not expand when absorbing moisture.
— — — —
Dear Knowledge of the Road!
All this is very remarkable, but does not give a reason in the official text to use the words "spotting" and "unspotting". The duty of the humanitarian editor now is to grasp the subtleties of cost-building in order to understand how to translate this jassel Russian into normal. Because the smart technician for some reason did not know the correct name of what he was working with.
With respect, another humanitarian.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
1) This is quite official terminology, used in all official and not only documents.
You are a fool, not a humanitarian.
and...
Through the efforts of a humanitarian journalist, our Institute of High-Precision Electronics was transformed into the Institute of High-Precision Electronics. And the term "hole conductivity" seemed unsound and turned into "hole conductivity".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100695
 19.07.2014
I went out with a guy from the store, on the way cleaned the wallet in the bag, looking forward. I did not see a man walking across the corner on me with a bandage of tubes on my shoulder. The guy moved me away so I’t get those tubes in the eye. The further dialogue:
I: Thank you, but imagine you’t have time to pull it away and he’d kick my eye out! Would you leave me then?
He said, “I’d first cut out your second eye so you’t see where I’m running.”

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