bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №156644
 21.07.2021
One day I worked for my uncle and I decided to work for myself. Nothing good came out of it, I couldn’t even go through an interview.



The recruiter had to be recruited.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156643
 21.07.2021
XXX: At the time, he was a medical commissioner in the military committee. Since childhood he suffered from purulent otitis. I was lucky, I was treated with an excellent ENT, after piercing the drum membrane, a small scar remained, hearing decreased very slightly. So in the military commissariat, Pidoras in a white coat, mistakenly named by the doctor, dumbly stitched my membrane right in the spot of the scarring. To him, fucking, it seemed like I had something glued to the diaper to cut off from the army. By the way, I did not intend to do this, but in order to close this case, I was commissioned. Pleasant, fucking, the bonus was hearing loss on the other side, and regular exacerbations are now chronic otitis.



I have not lost my virginity so romantically. I was taken to the gynecology ambulance to examine me. I was almost 18 years old (a girl with large spots). As always, do you have a sexual life? I say no, which causes almost demonic laughter at the gynecologist – Let you tell me, muhacha... She takes the mirror and... And of course I didn’t even apologize. And when I was asked - who was my first man - I say that the first was a woman and everyone has eyes like 😳😱

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №156642
 21.07.2021
My father told me in 1976. They go with their wife in the bus Usuriisk-Arseniev. Stop for 10 minutes at s. The brother-in-law went out to buy yes, "to go down before the wind." The driver returns to the salon and asks if everything is in place. And the mother-in-law is sitting and ashamed to admit that her husband has not returned yet, well, she has remained silent. The bus went.

The mother-in-law returns and cannot understand anything. Where is the bus?

The dispatcher asks, he is answered: "Michael Svetlov" there..." In the evening, the distance is decent, the track is in the taiga, there is no movement at all (1976). He came home in the morning.

Years have passed, we would not know the history, but. We drove the entire family on the same route. Here the mother-in-law asks to go to the toilet at the station in Anucino. Oh well ok. We stand smoking, here the mother-in-law once drives and asks everyone to quickly sit down. On gas and for the corner. The mother-in-law is out, and we are not there, her phone is not with her. It is on the sides and so on. and panic!

Meanwhile, the father told us the story. This is the man who has waited for so many years.

My mother looked for me and sat down on the bench. Apparently she was ashamed to ask people to call.

[ + 18 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156641
 21.07.2021
If your views disagree with the views of power, change power.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №156640
 21.07.2021
Chicago95 wrote to me:
The Russians support them everywhere. Except for the slasher!

History is so. A few years ago my car was stolen. With the help of friends, acquaintances, acquaintances, found her in Comey. Nizhny Novgorod GIBDD refused to participate in this, coming up with a lot of reasons only to not work, and even when we came up with the application for the detention of the car, and told them where the car is, we encountered inconceivable reasons for search workers not to do so.

When I was told earlier that there were completely different people living in the north, a completely different attitude to what was happening, I did not understand what I was talking about.
The first person who responded to our trouble was the head of the GIBDD of the city of Cave, called, said that the car was delayed, placed at home, the driver was drunk, sitting in the chamber. warned that the insurance is over, we must do it for sure, or we will not arrive.
The next time he warned that the train would arrive very late at night, so he would meet us and try to arrange everything right away. And indeed, on Saturday night he came and took care of us. When the papers were drawn up on his car to accommodate the hotel, although the city is not large, the free seats were only in the third institution, about which he negotiated with the owner and left.
In the morning, the owner of the hotel, unfortunately I do not remember whether the North or the North, shamefully of course, thank him very much, cared about our departure. We went to the shops to buy a good wire and canister, it turns out here no one goes out without this in the winter, it is we are ruined by European winters and shops at every corner, we don't even imagine what it means to travel in the winter in the north.

After breakfast guided us, first went to the gas station and on his discounts poured a full tank and canister, then led to the road "to Russia", it is such a local slang.
I painted the entire route to the Utah. Explain how to drive in the winter. The road is narrow. The light car is always inferior to furam and heavy equipment. I was upset at first, but then it became clear. A small machine is easy to pull out of the wall of the stall, but if a big one eats, everyone is upset.

How to ride a separate history of 60 kilometers in four hours. have overcome. It darkened.

On the track lost, honestly on the road "no homeland or flag." No marks, no indicators, no indications of settlements, no gas stations, no machines. They decided to stop and ask where to go. It is already dark, we are standing on the crashes, the first car stops, a funny guy and a girl jump out, they learned what we had in Uchthy, laughed in the voice, Uchthy turns out to the other side. They turned. They decided to jump over and spend the night in Syktyvkar. While they were driving, the check on the panel burned, and then the sign "the engine is working in emergency mode", and before that the engine caused doubts, but after all, you can't beat the Russian. The car began to suffocate, the melting began, I don't know what miracle brought to the commercial zone. We went to the outskirts, turned on the accidents, we went out.

The car stops and a man comes out. “Hello what happened? “We get surprised, we mock something. Bego asked what and how, let’s tell you I’m going to drive you now to the city, the car to the service, and in the morning we’ll see what happens to her. I am in a hurry to see. We are unusual to neglect ourselves anyway, especially since after a while the car begins to run normally. He leaves, immediately another car stops, two guys jump out, “Hello, what happened!”
The guys are more persistent, they open the cap that they are forged there, get the "brains", one of them forges in the block, blows that it scratches the nail, blows again, finally after a while puts back, - "making".
The car starts and works correctly.
While we worship “Thank you, thank you,” they jump into their car and leave.

We went to the hotel, talked with the administrator, told us about the robbery, and we were settled in a room for a third of its value, so little solidarity with the missing in trouble, and many other little things along the way, until we arrived in the Kirov region, there were already indicators, labels, gas stations, shops and evil firefighters.

Chika, you are wrong, people in the areas far from the center are much softer and kind, they may not be as sharp and sharp as in the capitals, but the attitude to life is correct.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №156639
 21.07.2021
Battya, when he sees another "star of the screen" on TV, says:
They cannot work. They can do nothing. Bring them to us to Siberia, and they will not survive a day. Apart from DiCaprio, of course.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156638
 21.07.2021
Xxx: Prehistory: a neighbor is an inadequate grandmother, always following something, making claims. You go home for documents - "what came, ride here, do not cross the yard", you take the garbage - "waste and garbage, this is from whom in the urn bottles are! And the smoking of yours!” And I do not even smoke. I borrowed, in general, donaldry... I tried to ignore it, and just send it on foot, nothing helps. My appearance is not too frightening.

I read somewhere here the "recipe", how to get rid of the increased attention of inadequate grandmothers, say you need to carry all kinds of achineas with an evil expression of the face, like a sorcerer.

I met her once again, as usual, following all kinds of nonsense, such as "hotness, they walk in a mask, people scare. Look at her, she is silent. You are silent?”

*I immediately warn you, I am not very familiar with this topic, YouTube is just talking at home, a popular gaming channel.

Well, I strained my twists and gave her what came to mind: "Dimitrescu contra grandmother DIABLO kodzima resident village 1 month sail steam grandmother ninja ninja ninja switch!". And on the floor type splashed to a bunch 😁

You should have seen it 🤣 The most difficult thing was not to roast. The grandmother clogged her mouth, broke her eyes and, losing the sidewalk, broke home, shouting, “What’s happening!” I think this "Diablo" so effectively worked 👍

You can congratulate me, for a few days I am avoided 😁 I need a couple of streams to listen to, suddenly I will have to fix the result.



Yyy: Grandma then left, and with the portal what did you do then?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156637
 21.07.2021
Xxx: Murch, crash, smashed with their words as parasites, the English are crazy)



You are a very cyberbully. Are you an abuser?



Zzz: Yes, this toxic is clearly hatching. Flexit said he is not fashionable, he tries to shake us, and in fact - a full curl from his side.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №156636
 21.07.2021
There are probably two Armenians at the stop.

A1: (very uncertain) - Hi, to the subway goët?

Driver: Come on, get off quickly.

A2: (sëthen) Right now all the routes to the subway, what do you brake?

A1: (also shëthen) Yes, I just never saw the Russian driver on the route, I was afraid that I didn't sit there.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №156635
 21.07.2021
Xxx: I lived with a girl once, but not for a long time (thanks to her mother saved me from a fateful mistake). And after we split up, I meet a common acquaintance and during the conversation she tells me that she did not expect this from me. I asked what exactly? And then it turns out that after we broke up, her mother told everyone that she fired me out after I slept with her employee for five thousand. I naturally immediately called her and asked where my money was, which I heard only rhythmic whispers.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №156634
 21.07.2021
Xxx: A night supermarket was robbed near us. The sellers managed to press the right button, the mint was touched almost immediately, the bandits sat inside, a shooting took place, but some sluggish - first the mint will be shot once and then something like "give up, bl*di! Go out with your arms raised!" and then three or four minutes later a response shot and a message like "go to the h*y, fucking! All of you will be shot to one of your mothers!”In general, all the ammunition saves.

We and our neighbors, of course, go to the balconies - even if, such a fun! So it lasted for thirty minutes, and there is an unhappy female scream from above:

How much can I endure! Kill them and let people sleep!!! to

A minute of silence, then one of the ments asks the matyugalnik:

Did you say it to them or to us?

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