Appeal to the UFMS:

"Hello to you!
I would like to sign up for a reception with the head of the department. Please tell me when and how can I do it?"

Response from the UFMS Support Service:

"Your appeal remains without consideration, in view of the fact that the appeal does not understand the essence of the appeal."

Trolls are such trolls.

I watched the American NCIS series.
Special agents scroll through a clever combination to find out the main terrorist’s ip’s.
Hard, but I found out! and 192.168.0.14

Captainspring: When I was in school, an American astronaut came to tell us about his profession. He was a very cool uncle, he told us a bunch of different stories, but most of all I remembered his answer to the question of what was the hardest thing to get used to in space. He said that, say, in space, it is nothing, but when you return to Earth, and here, fucking, gravity: you leave the habit of your favorite bowl to swim in the air, and it falls. This, I said, is always sad.

XXX: I can’t visit online shops at all, under any circumstances. That’s why I just bought a seafood?
YYY is alive?
XXX is speaking.
YYY: Then it will definitely be useful!
XXX: For this price he will just have to.)

MrSokol: My grandmother has a funny user - I learned to use the internet (well what they need..recepts of all kinds, herbs, etc.), and what it is - I did not understand. So, the other day, I took her note from the village to clean up. I sent out a phrase that I am still stuck with.
You, say, granddaughter, just don't sit in your city through it on the internet, or you have the internet dirty, viruses so much..not that we, in the village..good, clean such, Fresh..

What makes you so surprised by the delays and losses of packages of the Russian Post for the New Year holidays? There are a lot of packages, as long as there is a gift for yourself, the holidays can pass...

In the work:
1st Oh! Today is Lenin’s birthday.
2nd Fuck it again?

On the weekend, the woman actively pits wheels to ease. Time is there - decided home computer on "Win8" to translate. I did as I wanted, I sat down. The wife brought another portion of the pills, watched for taking inside. She lovingly asks where her place is now, where she is going to upload her series. I also gently explain that the computer is cleaned, licked out... Her records are not here, and in general – let her book and bump – specifically bought her book. The answer pleased: "First the account, then the antidote"

My grandmother was in the bus today. I go, as usual, I read a book and here one miracle passes by her wheelchair on her foot, my grandmother looked at me condemningly and was ready to issue a tirade of what I am bad, but I went ahead of her, smiled and apologized, hi with her, I think the mood is more expensive)) But here she runs on the same grandmother with a wheelchair and they wildly start to water each other. Nearby two girls are going (I often cross with them in the area, ran together in the park in the summer, we play with one, but we are not acquainted), so they chick over the grandmothers for good. I say to the grandmothers: "Why are you shouting at each other? There are girls sitting painted, it would be better for their minds to be taught to mind. Girls: Oh, but they keep smiling. The conspiracy grandmothers looked around, the epic secondary pause of the silence of the entire bus and the grandmothers rushed onto the girls with screams: "Shallow, the girls of the garrison, and in our time" and further on the list. And the girls also did not worship, stood up and worshiped the grandmothers and said: Thank you, our sweet grandmothers, now it will be faster to dress, thank you for the good advice, taught the mind to reason. The entire bus.
I finally met the girls ;)

We have a very comfortable courtyard. No cars, no roads, everyone knows each other. When I was five years old, I went on a walk under the supervision of an elderly (10 years old). The elder was terribly disturbed by this, obviously, and he tried to merge his brother home under any pretext.
I’m cooking lunch somehow and I hear a thunder and a terrible roar in the entrance. The little one runs, not otherwise broke up again. I open the door.
Dymka (for the whole entrance) : Mom! This shit, this fool!
I’ve lost my jaw, but I pretend that nothing happened.
I: Dima, that’s not a very good word. Do you know who this fool is?
Smoke (interested): No...
I: This is the female dog. Do we have a dog?
Smoke: No...
I: Is he a female?
Smoke: No...
Will you no longer call him that way?

A couple of weeks. I stand and cook. Everything repeats itself like in a bad movie. Again on the staircase and roof. I open the door.
The Smoke: Mom! This shit! This Ssssssss... the female dog!

Announcement of sale of photocopy with VK:

Dear friends, to your attention and purchase a super camera!

Shortly about him:
super photo - yes (even if the hands, where the legs),
Super video - yes (even with a closed lens),
Super increased shooting skills – yes (+500)
and a special, integrated bonus – "super-dropper" (collet nuts, evaporate water, roast an egg, and of course an instant flash with a blindness of up to 10 seconds per phrase: "give a look").

Sex without intelligence is a bad option.

I don’t know, I haven’t tried.

Zzz - Has Misse never tried to beat his brains? and :)

by Merzavsky:
Suddenly gave an interview to the radio of Russia about poorly parked cars. If they cut out the mat, it will remain: "They are all..."

Recently read "Fate Eggs" by Bulgakov. I realized that the post of Russia was crazy already then :(

Now it seems cool to be not an elephant of the 80th level, but a tank of the 10th.

Discussing the Samara cycling opening in 2013 (a huge column of 1,000 cyclists gathered), the forums wrote outrages about why there were no police escorts cars. Answer from one of the organs:

A few years ago, we asked to allocate two escort cars for the opening. The official answer was 10 thousand rubles per crew, free only if they are VIPs or children.
After that discovery, I saw a crossroads on the road in the Dubkov area, with three crew escorts. I don’t know if they’re kids or VIPs.

xxx: I caught a moment today when I need to stop coding and go to bed.
XHH: This is the moment when responding to someone in the social network. I finished the "" sentences, re-read, found no errors and sent them. End of.

XXX: We get a license for Windows 8 at work. Where to put?
YYY: In the corner.

Andrei: I had my wife on the village diet a week ago. Today I went to the teachers, got up on the weights... Lost just one kilo. So don’t be surprised when you get to Moscow, and here the trees with the roots are ripped out and the subway wagons are broken half-to-knee...

I have two aunts. One has PMS, the other on a diet. Don’t be surprised that there is no asphalt in the area.

XXX: Now it happened, even as a joke tell me
xxx: was in 2010, I opened a group in the social network. The network and began quietly loading there video of a very cultural channel. By 2012, 5,000 videos were uploaded. Now it is all, work.
xxx: writes in topic man said I want you to find and download programs
xxx: looked at his account - and this is the LEADER of the specified programs!
xxx: and now look at the situation - it is easier to ask "pirates" to unload material than the state. Release an adequate video channel