From the sex forum:

How can I seduce my wife??? Crazy I want to <...> Maybe someone will give a handy, and most importantly effective advice?<> I have not dared to talk to my wife on this topic yet.
Climbing dynamic rope holds up to 800-1000kg in the rift. If your wife does not develop such an effort, then there will be no problems with thighs. If it develops, then don’t tell her that I gave you this info.

of nature.
I'm going home now, meeting two bombs. One still nothing to himself, holds on his feet, embarrassedly smiles to the counter-flow and rides a large cart from the supermarket. The car is immersed in the shape of the letter zhu absolutely no second. Although it can be seen that he does not think about anything and is just completely ready, but also quite radiantly smiles to everyone. Probably went for a walk.

A letter with a girl.
If you don’t cheat me.

I was crazy!
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How I missed those guys who had previously found a touch USB slot on the rear panel of the processor...
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The processor! The processor, the fuck! 1! 1!! This quote is in the top!! My world has collapsed...

Just in the store. I bought the "Moment".
The cashier:
Need a package?
I thought.

Comments on the game on the famous torrent tracker:

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wow, what do you think if we put it here?

C is habrahabr.
According to crash tests, the Tesla Model S sedan retained, on average, 63.5% of the volume of driver space in the cabin. For comparison, another “five-star” and one of the safest Volvo S60 cars saves only 7.8% of space.

Is it a mistake or does the driver archive with a loss of quality?

To know the meaning of life is best done in conversations at a table in the kitchen.

The Smarter Soldier
My grandfather was a submarine sailor in the Baltic Sea. When the war ended, he went there, in Kaliningrad, to study. He graduated, received the title of captain... and then Khrushchev reduced the army. And he turned out to be a grandfather with a highly sought-after in peaceful life profession of a military lawyer, a wife and a half-commercial daughter on the street. In the literal sense. The apartment is (or the room is) office.
He wrote to all the brothers and sisters in all parts of the Union.
One said, “Come here! There is a need for understanding and education.”
Long or short, but ten years later, the grandfather received the position of the first secretary of the district executive committee. Just like the chief executive now.
The districtman was another - like an agrarian, but the fields were born only with stones (the last "glacier" left a greeting). In the district center - a bakery, a guitar workshop, and two schools with mail.
The building of the executive committee is a broken chamber.
A year later, his grandfather went to the republican center to ask for the commission to build factories in the district center.
He even has a whistle in you! You are factories.
And then the grandfather got the district “Truth”. And there is a note: say, the first thing that the new secretary of the executive committee did, was that he ordered all the collective farms collected in the meadows from the fields not to throw the stones, but to send the car to the district center. And the photo is a new building of the executive committee of stones.
“Well, soldier, you have fixed your stone chambers, then you will build a factory!
Over the next ten years, a tractor factory, an optical, milling, concrete, a hospital, two more schools were built in the town... Now it is a lovely city with two hundred thousand people.
...of the fact that the stones had to be laid by the executives themselves with their grandfather at the head, the newspaper silenced...and the grandfather did not spread very much until the end of the Union.

And what is this new Slavik in your contacts on the phone? I called, and there was a woman’s voice. How to understand it?! to
And very simple! There, the same fool grabbed the phone to listen to what the new Sergei has in the phone.

Used to call.
Do you fuck me on the screen?
The meaning?
Someone is knocking on the screen from that side of the screen!!! What is this?
- )))))))))))))))) weapostal

If vampires do not cast a shadow, then all light passes through them, and therefore is not reflected by them. Vampires are invisible!! to
WOW: Oh, and considering what we see only because the reflected light falls on the retina, and in the case of vampires it passes through the retina.
All vampires are blind to the invisible!!! tdd

My husband works on a computer, drawing. Friday afternoon time. He decided to work "bite", sitting alone in his office, reading anecdotes on the Internet. Rain to tears! The director comes. The husband in the last second has the time to unfold the drawing on the entire monitor... But the director looks at him in dismay: What about you, you are crying? Having gathered all the will in the fist, the husband answers with a serious voice: "The monitor is small, the drawing is complicated, the eyes are terribly tired and tearful." The result: the husband was released from work an hour earlier, and already on Monday he got a new big monitor!

To cook the soup was not so boring, try depicting a wicked laugh every time you add any ingredient.

The manager Sergey is so selling that he has “C” as “dollar”, “E” as “euro” and “R” as “ruble” in his name.
I wondered, and the remaining letters are also about him?

I signed Katyuku after sex on the phone as "Katrina"
Why such a maneuver?
The hurricane is hurricane :)

from ZH
xxx: On many Chevrolet you can turn off the boring sound signal (of not attaching the belt) simply by tapping the contact. He is under the driver’s seat.
YYY: It is right! The main thing is that during the meeting with the concrete pillar nothing feeds in the ears, while the head beats the front glass)

When I look at school bloggers on YouTube, I get to think of how good it was that when I was a teenager there was no internet at all. My shame will not remain in the archives.

<Enot> OAO "NII Steel": Zombie Apocalypse Advice: Zombies can only be killed with a precise shot in the head. Buy your helmet in advance.
(Telephone or fax)

Every time I and my boys drink a couple or three drinks at a celebration, my wife brakes me down and says I’m getting enough. And so, he said, drunk.
XHH: And this is given the fact that when it is not in such cases, we drink a bottle in the pot and I come home almost with a cucumbers.
XHH: Once again, sitting with friends at someone’s birthday table, I drink a drink as usual and hear the familiar “braking” to the pain, and not that soon I will have to drag you home. I did not endure and a verbal shift began on the topic "when at all was this?" and the like.
In the end, as it always happens when she has nothing to cover up, she stated that we don’t drink with her anymore.
No question: her brother recently married and his wife and aunt came to visit us to meet. They sit, drink, eat and suddenly everyone gets to know that my wife and I don’t drink.
Do you think you do not respect them? and :-)
I just replied to their question that I had enough drinks so that I could be taken away, and Lena did not drink out of solidarity, and so that I did not fall into another drink.
WOW: What is the reaction?
HH: So... Reaction is not the point. Interesting thing about alcohol in Russia: Now neither relatives nor friends communicate with us and it is my fault.