bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111207
 25.03.2015
Andrei: Now that there is a collapse in this game, you can get rid of it.
by Sonia Em. In the sense before the screen or the character is now capable of this?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111206
 25.03.2015
The guy approaches the girl and asks the standard question: "Girl, does your mother not need a son-in-law?" Ta turns around, smiles and says: "Mom is sitting behind the heavy body of the previous son-in-law.
-----------
The previous spouse

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111205
 25.03.2015
You should have given birth in a few weeks, right? How is?! to
I have failed. o.o

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111204
 25.03.2015
Did you brush your teeth today?
The girl: No
Q: Why is it?
I am an ordinary dirty tooth.
Q: I don’t need a dirty tooth.
D: Okay, I am a dirty tooth unusual

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111203
 25.03.2015
Al_Pecino: The postal staff motto: "More work and less work". Oh, that is, the opposite – "Less work and more work".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111202
 25.03.2015
News: Head of Saratov Oleg Grishchenko became the object of extortion, the source in the law enforcement structures of the regional center said.

Police officers recently detained a resident of Saratov, who is now being checked for extortion from the head of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of a large sum of funds.

According to preliminary data, the citizen intended to receive 8 million rubles for information allegedly compromising the citizen Grishchenko. After the arrest and questioning of the citizen, it became clear that, most likely, she did not act alone, but with the assistance of one of the employees of the city Duma and one of the former deputies. A criminal case is being initiated", the source said.

Stone No. 1

XXX is
I imagine it so. Such a citizen comes to Oleg Vasilyevich and says: "I have photos of Saratov roads on my flash! Pay money or I’ll put it on the internet!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111201
 25.03.2015
The coach of karate when talking to parents is upset:
Why is it so difficult to remember the word "block" in Japanese? Every time I give them blocks, I say their name. I always say: shotay uke, osay uke, sunne uke...
One of the parents thought:
And they probably think it’s sushi and they’re pulling for sticks.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111200
 25.03.2015
XX: We have a very wise leadership.
YYY: And what does that mean?
xxx: Secretaries are fat, not beautiful, but very intelligent, and all kinds of managers there are deaf TePeshki.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111199
 25.03.2015
Tagged with 16861

The shork...

I was wearing, wearing and going to wear a ski suit in the city when I go out to walk with my child in a wheelchair in the winter. 3 hours in comfort and warmth. What does it matter how my poop looks?! to

shork shork

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111198
 25.03.2015
The lightning! Two battalions of the National Guard were sent to Dnipro.
Was he drowned?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111197
 25.03.2015
When there is no light in the room:

What does the generator work on?
YYY: in faith
ZZZ: in prayer
AAA: on original jokes
BBB: well and a bit of gasoline, for lubrication

[ + 11 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111196
 25.03.2015
Because "loving in a grandmother" is normal, "bearing potatoes" is the characteristics of the body. And all kinds of gay and lesbian... ICD fresh read. I understand why so much has been removed. And that’s not because "it’s not a disease".
--------
The nose of potatoes is a legacy! The mutation! You are a sick man! It does not matter that this diagnosis is not in the ICD, because everyone knows that the nose should be straight or with a slope. And you do not do anything in terms of correcting your ugliness (rhinoplasty is inexpensive and affordable surgery). You still walk with such a nose in the sight of everyone, without bothering to cover it at least with a shell. Thou thou!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111195
 25.03.2015
I will, of course, rub, but - Masha's breast at 12 has already appeared, and Tani, at 15 only. and ah.
and...

A 22 year old Jane knows how she’s crying now.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111194
 25.03.2015
Toranoko: Comrades, I looked at the weather here in Peter on the dates of the visit and something was upset...
Enlighten me - how cold will it feel? What clothes should I wear?
I have a high temperament, I don’t want to freeze in the snow.
Monday: 1st and 4th, snow
Tuesday: +2 +5 and rain
Jolene: Ti, +4 is hot
I am joking.
If it is strict: ask someone to store milk (there is always a stove), put there a dozen fans that blow in different directions with different powers, smoke to start watering from the top of the fireplace, and you will have an approximate idea of Peter at +4. And don’t forget the monkey.


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111193
 25.03.2015

In her 11-13s, she was well aware of various methods of contraception, the consequences of early birth and early sexual life.
and +++++
And that is normal!?? This girl just lost her childhood! Well, or as an option she already started working on the panel at 12 years of age...I at 12 years of age went to the musician and in general no boys and did not think yet...At 12 years of age it is normal in dolls still play.
– – – – –
Are you tired of thinking that all children are different and develop differently? If the girl's puberty came so early, then it's great that she was already aware of the basic things. There is nothing terrible about that at her age all these things were uninteresting to you. But, hell, what is the position of the Earth’s pope to measure everyone by itself?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111192
 25.03.2015
I add and divide.
Violence in the Family.
Do not judge if you do not know. Do not give God to anyone.
___________________________________________________________
Most often, violence begins when a woman has a baby. This is the time when you are most dependent.
___________________________________
I have a girlfriend, a miniature but very beautiful girl. And she has a bridegroom, too, very small, slightly overwhelmed - the midwife pulled. And a military father. This is Miles Forkosigan. This is asthma. Genetic man is bright, even on the name of Kvasimord is not offended. But he had a dream. He wanted to go to the army! From the age of 18 to 24, he once a month went to the military commissariat to the principal and there he begged, offered bribes, threatened... he had the brains of his uncle in full.
And after the wedding with a friend and the move, they came for some re-registration - to take documents from the military committee.
When I came to them, Genka was angry and confused, and the girlfriend was roaring: having learned that the object was changing residence, the soldier gave the young woman up to three boxes of candy (for which he was so much?) Two bottles of good champagne.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111191
 25.03.2015
Land for the peasants!
Factories are workers.
The bridges are trolls!
Parks are dead!
The cow is a seat.
The Goat Bayon!
The dog has the fifth leg.
Children have ice cream.
Grandmothers are flowers!
The dead donkey has ears.
A fish with an umbrella.
A signal to the rabbits!
Tombs are tombs!
I have T-shirts!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111190
 25.03.2015
My wife’s screen broke. Does anyone know how much the replacement costs?
If the wife has a crack, then the guarantee is unlikely to replace the wife.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111189
 25.03.2015
You know, when you watch a zombie series at night and then go to the bathroom, the last thing you want to hear is your worried cat crawling to you on the other side of the door.
Yyy: Okay, she doesn’t ask for your brains.)
HHH: And it sounds like it’s what she wants, still so ringing and uterusly whispering.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111188
 25.03.2015
I will note in:
The first win-rar is mentioned in children's fairy tales: death in the needle, needle in the egg... The question of who was Kochey himself: the Sisadmin or the programmer?
The castle was the defense of the princess's trial.
The needle is a patch.
Tsarevich is a user who went to Google (Baba Yaga) to find out the address (Dub), where to download the crack on the frog that ended the trial period.
Is it enough K.O.S? and :)

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