My grandfather burned up in the office today.
“I,” he said, “why did I not come to the meeting today? I had a great event - a soldier was handed over. Two months could not issue, decided what to give me a military accounting specialty. For the first (tracker) I have not worked for a thousand years, and the second, which is now a laboratory in the agricultural institute. They say "Can you train dogs? Per in the cinologues we will write?" - "I doubt, I say. - I am a candidate for flies, and I am engaged in the gynecology of cows. Thank you for not writing anything in the military obstetricians... :-)

xxx: I have recently written here "Defamation". I wrote in response that Zhi through and is written.
XXX: And then it came to me that I smoked the frog.
yyy: the master fucking)))

In fact, the ruble falls from the fact that a penny was taken out of circulation, and she kept it.

Mothers in the presence of children

My uncle drinks can use a strong word.
One day his six-and-a-half-year-old daughter (who began to speak) sent a message to the

He did not like it.

Matto I also don't like, but the claims of violins to strangers in the spirit of "they don't see what prUncessa here" resembles the claims of phytonaches, who "contrarily look at" the fat passers or the "police of fashion" that through Zadolbali dictates the whole world how to wear barefoot and shorts correctly.

The Seventh Class. Teaching Russian language. The subject is a soft sign before the voiced after the agreed. Several words are given: “piedestal”, “penyuar”, lotion, “diakon”, “protodiakon”, “family”, “nuances”. You have to make an offer with them. One boy managed to insert all the words in his proposal: "The deacon, speaking from the church pedestal, behaved so familiarily that the deacon said: 'Better would you go out in the penyuara, spraying your hair with lotion than discussing the nuances of parishioners' life.'

There was a fire in the hallway and the alarm was working. Everyone ran, almost a panic began)) and I was scared, I didn't even get out of the corridor.
- right, why stress, to run into a burning cell when you can just not get out of it. The harsh Siberian women.

From the discussions "What programming language is better":

xxx: Nails are better hit with a hammer, not, for example, passages.

A microscope of pleasure.

But then it cannot be used as a microscope.

What if you have a hundred microscopes and no hammer?

Xxx:...

xxx: Welcome to the world of web programming!)))

People often try to transfer to an infectious hospital the “home” food that a hospitalized person ate before entering the intestinal infections department, why do they do it? Interestingly simple.

An amazing story about a penis tattoo and a Mini cooper: 39-year-old German resident Andreas Muller became a participant in the action from the company "Mini Cooper". This campaign said that if you want to get a car - you just need to put the company logo on your body in a very unusual place. There were about 2,500 participants. Tattoos were everywhere - from the fifth to the ears. Our hero went further - on his unit he put the company logo. As it became known later - he won the car he had long dreamed of!



“I think there is nothing shameful here. Girls smile when I tell them about it, and about 50% want to see it. But you understand – how this “look” ends – Andreas commented in his interview.

A friend told me a story from school:



The question is, "How much will it be if you add 8 tablespoons to 7 forks?" The child replied, “7 forks and 8 tablespoons.” The teacher, clear matter, noted the answer as wrong. In his narrow world, the answer should have been “15”.



This story arose as a result of the discussion of a single formula invented by bureaucrats to assess the efficiency in which the values of different dimensions were combined. He gave an example to show that even a child understands that this cannot be done.

Officer: You will have to get up at five o’clock.
I usually wake up by noon, but I make myself sleep before five.
––––
How do you spend P?
40% for food, 30% for housing, 30% for clothing, 20% for entertainment and unforeseen expenses
It is 120%
That is the problem :(

A little sick, I measure the temperature with the usual mercury thermometer. My husband told me one story:



When I was a kid, my grandfather sold “liquid robots” in light bulbs. All the boys after watching Terminator wanted to get such a robot. One of my friends bought a box, everyone was jealous of him. I asked him to play with the robot, brought it home and proudly showed it to his parents. Such lullos as then, for the "liquid robot", I have not yet caught up...

A great idea for a tattoo. I’d rather like something functional, like RFID (seems to be) from a subway travel card to touch the turniket to open)
dead.pihto: And once a month a new fill.

We lie down with a girl before going to bed, look at the telephone, I notice that her leg is pulling out of under the blankets, then the dialogue:
I: And you too in childhood, when you were still very young, thought that if you do not hide the whole body completely under the blanket, then someone will come and definitely do something with you, and under the blanket, felt like under a powerful protection?
She: (thinking a little) And I think so now and hiding my foot under the blanket...

XXX - My Smoke from School to Military Command Hunted
with all the parallels. He distinguished me again.
YYY – What else?
He decided that I should go to the state service.
YYY – What’s wrong here?
There is need for service in the army.
xxx - Imagine, they built all these 16-year-old lobotras before the commissariat, and he asks them a rhetorical question:"Well, eagles, do we want to serve in the army?"
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! to
Ohhhh guess it! And my and another, likewise wise – "Daaa!"
YYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Oh well, so all who "no" - to the medical commission, and these two to the psychiatrist.
YYY – Are you joking?
xxh - We were also given an agenda - "To appear with my mother".
I’m sitting there, curling the agenda, and I think I’ll be told by an interesting psychiatrist next Wednesday.

The older son asks the younger:
Who is the strongest in your garden?
– Of course the teacher! – replies Fede.

I love this advertisement on TV. Like your grandfather liberated the world, your father defended the world, and what will you do? They perform computer dances. No one has ever cheated on the gamers.

To the question of who women are looking for: I don't know what projects of total enrichment worry the minds of other ladies, but for myself I can say that the presence/absence of a "account-machine-apartment" is generally secondary, and it doesn't matter. Unmarried, adequate and with a healthy sense of humor. And the whole story...

When they were going to buy an apartment, they looked secondary in a certain area. There is an ad where the apartment in all parameters is the same as the others, but significantly more expensive.

We enter. Grandmother's option is clean, but the repair was done 15 years ago at best, and most likely - a quarter of a century in general. You have to put everything down to zero and do it again. When asked why this price, we were answered with a blue eye: you can immediately remove all the partitions and make a great studio, it is possible and prestigious! So, we say, you haven’t done it yet, why did you include it in the price?

For the first time in my life, I was called a greedy bastard.