bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82051
 26.05.2013
XXX - How did you go to your ornithologist yesterday?
Yyy to the Orthodontist.
No one has ever called me such a thin chicken.
A. and A. Emelyanov

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82050
 26.05.2013
The Bride:

I hear the cuddle... I ask – when will I get married?
I got stuck :D

...

No year will pass. Wait for me.)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №82049
 26.05.2013
Who knows the natural harmless substitute for caffeine?

YYY: The Dream

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82048
 26.05.2013
Fritz: Just far from civilization, in the midst of nature in the village, you remember what simple joys are.
Fritz: I just killed this pale fly that sat on my head all morning and prevented me from sleeping.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82047
 26.05.2013
xxx: "Microsoft patented a system of achievements for watching TV"
Acknowledgements for watching TV!!! to
That is the dream of generations.
You sit, watch the telephone all night, and in the morning the smart box tells you that this is an achievement!! to

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82046
 26.05.2013
A discussion of the analytical article on the situation in Syria where two radical Islamist groups are fighting against each other, on the one hand Al-Qaeda for the Syrian rebels, on the other Hezbollah for the Assad government.
The comments:
Stanislav Kravtsov:
It’s a rare case when you want both sides to lose.
Evgeny Babadaev:
They didn’t lose, they won and defeated the enemy completely.
Dmitry Godunov:
Yes, we wish both sides to show courage and fight to the last drop of blood.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №82045
 26.05.2013
XXX: to pay or not to pay?
Pay for the apartment.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №82044
 26.05.2013
My neighbors (three men and a girl), their dialogue:
Let’s change places.
No, I see well.
From my place it is better to see, and the gate is better to see.
I can see, why change?
Because you’re watching football. And we are talking.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82043
 26.05.2013
I sell services in a white provider.
Nearby a student and 2 full-fledged specialists, in the room empty - the town is small.
A 20-year-old girl comes straight to me:
You (Rostel) made me the internet.
I don’t remember what I did to you there.
The neighbor:
You are all men like this: you do, and then you don’t remember.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82042
 26.05.2013
The question. Please tell me! How to react to the action of a friend, she herself was a Muslim and said that she was in a mosque and put a candle for me there, although I was baptized. It turns out that I have nothing to answer her, but I cannot pray for her in the church.
The answers.
XX: Well, write away, let God and Allah now understand how to break this situation, I don't know how to help you, except with a good word...
UUU: Well, if you want, I can send a note with your name to the Wall of Cry. We confuse them finally.
(Auth of The Orph. and point. to be kept.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №82041
 26.05.2013
From the topic of the new XBox on the Hubble: Now the producers of porn movies using Kinect'a by user actions will immediately know - whether their products produce the desired effect.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82040
 26.05.2013
to this
>> And here’s the grandmother:

And what you don’t say, for health, sex is best.

by D (17:59) :
It is beautiful!

Constantine (17:59) :
I even thought for a few seconds what to do first - to swallow up or blunt.
____________
That is, having sex now is like bluffing, or what?
Or after 40 years, do you have to leave sex, or the youth is tormented to bluff?
Maybe all the fools who think that after 60 people do not have love, less need to warm their ears about other people's conversations?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82039
 26.05.2013
The Twitter of an American
A friend has just offered to bet a million dollars that he will work as a waitress longer than I am.
We must only live on a salary, we cannot appear in our homes or ride our cars, and we must work 40 hours a week.
Yyy: Well, at least your watch for $250'000 you can wear at work?
XXX: Yes, nothing is said about this in terms...
Yyy: Then you have to agree on a dispute, I will bring my son to eat.
Yyy: And I’ll show him how he can make money on his toys during the holidays.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82038
 26.05.2013
About the most "speaking" mistakes:

My brother decided to add me to the exotic. I bought in the supermarket some expensive Japanese spaghetti, unimaginable ink-violet color. He eats at a restaurant and is cool. Well cooked, try... mda... a whole palette of disgusting tastes. We sit, we spit, we mate, and both. I decided to read the composition. Everything was explained by the first phrase in Russian: "Fabricated from rice flour of rough wash"...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №82037
 26.05.2013
XXX is gone. And then he puts the disk in the magnet. Music for relaxation. I am driving. 1200 km in one direction. I threw her into the window after 50 km.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82036
 26.05.2013
Anna: Yesterday at work, I served students candy and, after the lesson, in honor of the end of the year. A student calls his mother (8th grade): Mom, we are here teachers, she has a holiday!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82035
 26.05.2013
McFLY> worked here in an electronics repair firm. Repaired the camera. In the form in the column "defect" from the words of the client is written "it fucking, it is not fucking". I checked the photocopy, it works. Returned to the owner with the assignment "we all fuck"...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №82034
 26.05.2013
Roaring -Dushman+
My wife presses my pimples on my sleepy body and is upset that I am dragging from pain. She gets bored and says.
You cannot endure the pain. Glad you were born a man, or you would have died on the first wedding night.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82033
 26.05.2013
Yesterday I witnessed the accident - one Oka entered the other... Someday immediately a new phrase in my head sounded ''the tutor in the tutor''. and :)

[ + 9 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82032
 26.05.2013
Now the scene was a worthy pen.
The wife pulled into the house after the service of the local pop and another man five parishioners.
The younger son climbs on the rings (sports such as home for child development), hangs on them and wants to show how he clamps his legs and hangs his head down. The pop is standing by and watching.
I say, Son, only with Matt!
The pop is looking at me with amazement, sitting in anticipation that the child will now give out something like: &@ your mother! Then it will hang up, as it was.
There is no scene. The boy slides off the rings, unloads the mat and goes back to finish the show again.
Pop is baptized, I ride on the floor in convulsions))))

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