A happy woman is more beautiful than a beautiful woman.

The calls of collectors. Always check, always, what your other half is doing in banks and other financial institutions. Otherwise, you will not have problems afterwards. My (long-ex) girlfriend when we were still dating when she took a loan "accidentally" left my number as a second contact. And then, when we were separated, she changed her number, and the bank was forced to call me about her debts.
Initially, he politely explained the situation to the calling collectors. They didn't understand, as a result, put my number on the phone call (who doesn't know what it is - every hour a phone calls, you take the phone, there a melody plays and in a few seconds the collector responds who demands to repay the debt, and they called at night too). Changing the number is not an option. It is known to many partners and is linked to many contractors of the company in which I work.
After a few days of such regular calls, I got tired of it. He sent two calls in direct text. It did not help, the phone call only intensified, despite the fact that the numbers are all on the blacklist - they have thousands of them! They always call from different numbers.
The breakdown came unexpectedly to me. Understanding that not only can they intimidate me, but I can try to intimidate them too. Another call, I take the phone, I listen to the melody and as soon as the live collector answered I said with a Georgian accent:
And Mahomet? Hear the dust I brought, and you threw me, yeah, 100 pieces of green where?
We are an OOO company, we are recovering outstanding debt.
- Do you pretend Magame, just pay for the powder, and everything will be fine?
Forgive me, was it a mistake? I called you to talk about your debt.
Do you know who you are talking to, Mahatma? If tomorrow before 12 o’clock 100 pieces of green will not be at the menu, you will answer with your head before Givi Mahmudovich himself, you understand? Your number is calculated, they are following you, prepare your baby.
Sorry, I probably mistaken the number.
No more calls.

Do something twice voluntarily, the third time they will expect it from you, and the fourth time they will demand it.

I work in a car service. A car runs down - a ruin, a woman with a son aged 5 - 6. Next to the stand there are several chairs so to say for the staff, while I hanged the sensors on the wheels, aunt and child sat on these same chairs, waiting. In principle, we are not forbidden to be in the working area, although it is undesirable, but we are not talking about it. Here the momma (and this is the most affectionate as you can call this individual of the female sex) went to the box office to calculate, the boy remained. Naturally, the process became interesting for the guy, he approached the stand and asked, "Can I look?" Without a reason to refuse, I agreed. He quietly stood up and looked at the multi-colored figures on the monitor with immeasurable interest)) did not run, did not noise, did not interfere, just silently stood and looked. By the way, literally two meters from the chair he was sitting on. Here his mother returned... Just a thunder-like, literally filled with rage shout forced me to tear the keys out of my hands – “I told you what shit?!?! Sit and sit!! Do you have to repeat it 10 times, fool? And not acid so stiffened to the little backbone. To say that I was upset means not to say anything... Once again I got the gift of speech, I said, “Well, you, he doesn’t bother, it’s calm.” I got a short answer, “It’s not your business at all!!! (I used to say “you”) turn your hooks and don’t lie down!!!” The boy at this time was already sitting on the chair, not crying, although I would probably have been different in his place, not from pain but from resentment. Finished the car, Mommy in the meantime went back to the store again - why. I approached the child, in my pocket there were a few slides, I give him, I say, "don't worry, maybe my mom is in a bad mood, don't be upset." And he, you know, so raised my eyes, I got up in my throat, how much sadness there was and what fatigue there was. And how calmly, even as an adult, “yes always so, I’ve used to it.” Mom came and they sat in the car and left. I smoked for a long time and wondered where these fucking people came from.

But if a person in the subway wears an iPhone or a pack of money in the back pocket of jeans - he is dolbo@b and the fault itself (which does not cancel the need to find and plant the wallet).
If you park a car in the yard with open windows, do not close the apartment with the key, etc.

I advise you to read Chapter 14 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation "Acquisition of property rights". I think you are a latent thief.

My wife asked for a welding machine for her birthday.
Once again.
The Wife. On his birthday. I asked. The welding apparatus.

*Discussions on the use of operations by various JAPs*
xxx: imagine: a clean table, a white plate on it, an operative plate. He sits down, carefully cuts a piece with a knife and eats.
xxx: And here a pig breaks into the table and eats the entire operating system at once - it's Java.
Yyy:...frightened, he splashes out a bit of bite and screams: Segmentation fault!!! to

<DeDushka> Angelofnet: Better watch the live broadcast of the LDPR Congress.
Angelofnet> DeDushka: You know... I love the circus, but I prefer the performances of more professional bands.

My wife stopped smoking and stopped drinking alcohol. The scream of the soul on Facebook:

The Living Pillar
I got to the pen. Never before has the tag matched the mood so much.
I smoke an e-cigarette without nicotine and drink non-alcoholic beer. What next? → A rubber cat? (The river)

I had a classmate of Shelchkov.
In the school they studied German.
Name: Schtscheltschkova

In the communion...
What to eat for dinner today?
YYY: The pasta...
Ohhhh... again? With what at least?
yyy: with the hope of a bright future.

In every father’s life, there comes a happy moment when a child calls and asks:

How much beer do you have?

Today in the TC was heard a stupid question: "Why are televisions different?"

But the seller of goods, not confused, said, "They were created by Bosch."