bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102224
 28.08.2014
I have PMS again.
Granite: When It Ends
The whole life consists of PMS and CDs.
I was crying yesterday before sleeping.
This is how I wanted chocolate sausages.
Until the damn!
Tagged with: aaaa
I want it again.
Tagged: misery
Granite: I wonder what will we want when we get pregnant?
Donda: fried eyes washed with lemonade)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102223
 28.08.2014
Please help me remember the author and the title of the story!
It was in a collection that is now lost.
The story begins with the fact that the student brings to his teacher a robot he is very proud of. But the teacher says it’s a bad robot. Then shows the student a video where the last people create their creation – the same teacher. The boy realizes that the whole world around him is created by robots. But in the end, the teacher wipes his memory.
Please help me)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102222
 28.08.2014
here here :

The Moscow Metro. Train on the ring. A black man sits in the car, drinks dark beer and periodically falls asleep. He begins to slip, break, be baptized, brew the beer, and starts to fall asleep again. So in a circle

Very standardized.
Someday I go home from work. I see a neighbor-alkas, now dead, sitting with a completely meaningless face on the courts under the fire box. Approximately once every one and a half minutes he got up, knocked on the box and slipped on the wall to his original position. After observing several cycles, I go home - everything goes smoothly, like in the ballet, he does not experience torture, and as if he is busy with something. What else?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102221
 28.08.2014
Why all this? Flirting, conditioning or silence? I liked the guy - I approached and said "you like me". He said to me "You too". No - "sorry, but I don't like you" or "I like another". There would be fewer lonely people and fewer problems.

Why, why... Then, that there will always be a fool, who is right to do nothing, from his glamorous blades he decided to rest for a week, and here - Oops, a new impression and straight into his hands goes. And he will tell you "daaa, I like you too!". Shakes and smells. In the best case. And this shy man then half-life in complexes. And, by the way, I'm talking about everyone, a shy girl is not only a girl, but also a boy, a fool is not necessarily a man, girls-fools are also. Like the glamorous men's blunders, although here I would clarify for every case. Therefore, it is necessary to arrange the dancing of sick crows in order to determine whether a good person is in front of you or better hands on your feet and run away from him.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102220
 28.08.2014
Habr
vlivyur: Learning something on an electronic book is very uncomfortable. Usually in front of you a bunch of open books with bookmarks on the right pages, and you quickly switch between them. Now that is not.
Constpetrov: And the pencil writes badly on the screen.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102219
 28.08.2014
City Car Forum:
I finally bought a car! My first car! I am so happy!!! to
Tell me, what should I do with him now?
To wash it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №102218
 28.08.2014
Reply to Godzilla on one of the pockets
Unknown in Japan. Very long coexistence (development of events). Then we are shown a mother from the "star landing". The American prototype of the pumped saper saves/does not save the dad. I am amused by the female cockroach. If they are fed with radiation (a waitress, a steak with radiation, please), then on what ice it went out of the radioactive waste storage. The wing would jump, since it is burning at him. and more. Animal 90m, they say. The camera is in storage from 10x10. How did such a big housewife get stuck in such a small box? With the rocket blurred hemorrhoids which themselves and broke. The people in the film were not very needed. You could just take a walk with the dinosaurs. Or look at YouTube as a hexagon eats cockroaches. They often show someone’s ass. Judging by the color of the picture, the ass belongs to a man from hot-hot Africa. It’s dark in her, just like it is in her. Something explodes occasionally. Soldiers depict ridiculous attempts to shoot monster monsters. When Godzilla erupted the flame, a friend jumped out of the chair shouting "UCHTYOPANYIGORYNYCH!!!". In general, you can look, but only in good quality and with beer. The American dreams. There is a nuclear missile, but it cannot be used)) Like a suitcase without a pen))

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №102217
 28.08.2014
The dogs laugh and the Cobson sings.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №102216
 28.08.2014
Wake up rescuers.

Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishermen of men and not of fish.” They immediately left the nets and followed him. (Mark 1:16-18)

I did not catch fish in the water, but people. The MISIS swimming center was a pleasant obligation to rescue a month in Pitsund. Ordinary students flocked and praised with their tails on the trade commission parket, picturing a promised trip to the camp, and we were driven there in order.
A full lava. In your full disposal a house on the shore, two boats and all the babies in the district. The holy thing man does. Yes, plus-all as a selection of athletes.The burned and muscular-passion what souls.
It is a sin not to let such white teeth go.
If they weren’t resting, I would have them... with this stupid habit of drowning anywhere.
Everything is like about the firefighter in the anecdote: "The collective is soulful in our calculation, the brand master-father of the native, feed until the fall - but as a fire - so at least resign!"
We first met the boss. The rushed drunk Micheich - in the past, the navy "box" was the brightest personality. Externally, it resembled the twisted passages with its short curved legs and huge streams, swirling to the knees. The strength was simply incredible.
From the fleet to the rescuers he was spared because once did not count the malech gave a brown sailor in a dungeon, and that through a falchboard take and bulk into the water.
It was a good deal in the area.
Micheich pulled him out, pursuing him. The headquarters appreciated the talents of the Mitchman and dismissed the hero from the fleet, arranging him to work on his vocation.

Upon arrival Micheich spent a couple of classes with us.He impressed us, nothing to say.
It must be said that the real lifetimes of rescue on the water are radically different from those charitable posters that adorn any OSVOD station.
I remembered :
The client is digging, not digging, first and foremost, a strike in the dune of him! And then the hair.
Otherwise, you will get rid of him. Together you will sink to the fucking...
I have to say that to send in the water in the drum, with a rause in the end, the matter is far from easy. There is no resistance. You have to jump out of the water and hit the top. This is the difficult thing Micheich taught us.
from his instructions.
If an ambulance arrives to pick up, look at both, what would be indicated in the papers, that the rescue activities were carried out with him. Or it is easy for pathanatoms to put a violent death - how many times the ribs were broken with artificial breathing - not counting. You get bored to write papers...
And the main:
- Found a dwarf of the night afternoon - drag it to the neighbors to the site. Call me in the lie.
Then they will be registered, not you. There is paper writing dark. Even the prizes can be deprived.Well, and be careful that they don’t get yours.
Subsequently, we regularly conflicted with the neighboring station on this matter. It often came to Morocco. The paintings were Hellenistic-a group of half-naked men in the rays of the dawn sun beat a friend of harry over the deceased. The Battle of the Trojan and the Greeks for the body of Patroll in pure form.
Not for, but against.
Patroll was defeated along with all the accompanying hemorrhoids.

But, despite the alcoholism-order in the house, Micheich supported absolutely the navy. No hell in our area during the day did not sink, no matter how we tried.

I remembered my first forever. There was a big uncle. and loud. He drank a bottle of water with seawater and sharply changed the tone with "Paashli all our!" (in response to our cries in the matyuhalnik about buys, back, and those de), on “Oh, blah, tannou!”
By the way, it is rare. Drowners, as a rule, people are quiet - humility and lack of air do not allow them to scream. It voted for the whole district. Exclusively a mate.
We approach the boat and throw around. The imagination broke. His hands scratch on the water, his skin is scratched out, and Nihren does not understand. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Buriing closer risky-turns the boat as bad to do. I dive, swim to the beautiful. I remember Mitchell’s lessons.
and NNNA!
Fuck, I got through my nose... He shrugged right away.The man is astonished by the eagle’s eyes on me.
NNNNNNNN!
Again by the way. He just broke his lips and scratched his fist at his teeth.
The man's amazement has no limits.He probably did not imagine the process of rescue on the water.
Together with him behind this impressive picture, the beach is observed.
NNNNNA!
What a fucking thing in the eye...
To the man touches, that the thing is bad, he sharply increases the flooding and quite sharply falls away from me.
and NNNA!
Those are Irods! What are you doing? From the shore came the shout of indignant spectators.
But I am not to them. He entered Rage.
You will not go, fuck! I will save you anyway!
Finally, I get into a man’s neck. FFF, finally that is. Riding my hair, fuck, tear it off, and pull in the boat again. Three of them pulled him.
We took the motorcycle, approached the shore and woke up. He immediately threw on me. I meet him with a pair in the throat rescued flying overboard. They jump and run to the shore. I follow him somehow. I only manage to get him in the ass - the beautiful man with a sharp spurt goes to the gap.People with a whisper run out of our way.The legs are hanging in the sand, I slow down - this pig is carrying without dealing with the road.It carries a fungus, not slowing down the run.It jumps through two beds-without touching. Fuck you like that. And why is it, in fact, I run-in, finally, in my head?
The client is alive, healthy, in a beautiful tone, what else can I help him?
The car hit me all over the beach. But Mikhailich, with the help of свояak in the mindset, settled the question.
Even a handshake, which for him, expensive to praise, meant:
The Beautiful! Keep it so!
After that, military discipline was established on our site. No one was swimming close to the bucks.
It was worth anyone to try the sunny-yourself citizens caught the brave for swimming.
You hear it from far away, whisper! Here are the rescuers! Named man for the bucks swam-they drove him like this! All the roots of violence fled from them! If I had not fled, I would have killed the naked!
Maybe there were no drowners.
and Amen.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102215
 28.08.2014
It's terrible to send a child to the grandmother: a complete leak of information!

[ + 33 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102214
 28.08.2014
Let it not be better to legalize spontaneous fire, stole the phone, the owner remotely pressed the button, the thief's smartphone in his pocket and burned and exploded, others will immediately have a lesson and will immediately steal the smart!)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102213
 28.08.2014
Comments on the movie on the track:

KicyabliK
This film is not for especially talented people.
I liked the film.

by Ernesto852
Excellent self-esteem at Kicyablik

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102212
 28.08.2014
Did you love your mom right away?
I didn’t have a mortgage, I first took a mortgage.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102211
 28.08.2014
andquot;xxx
I have a price list from the store "Pentachok" LLC "Pentachok - Amphibia"SPb with this text (author's style is preserved):
Mayonnaise of Provence with Cranberry Colibri"

What is the check date? Find a joke and punish.
involved in the case.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102210
 28.08.2014
X: Why did you not go?
yyy: Yes psychhanula, tickets have been delivered (
yyy: fucking, a woman as it is even fucking to be :/ this is a psychopath - and all, plans are broken
The man too – the woman is psychotic and all the plans are broken

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102209
 28.08.2014
Nothing is so demotivating at work as the boss, who runs into the WOT and the crowd of colleagues who suffer for him.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №102208
 28.08.2014
This is the whole essence of the Russian law enforcement system in the following statement of the senator.

The Federation Council advises a citizen of Ukraine who took responsibility for painting a star on a Stalinist highlight in Moscow in the colors of the Ukrainian flag to voluntarily appear in the police.
Otherwise, the innocent people who were detained by the police will suffer,” Konstantin Dobrinin, deputy head of the Committee on Constitutional Legislation, told Interfax.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102207
 28.08.2014
The initiators of the prosecutor's inspection against the line department of the police are bombers from the Kursk station

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102206
 28.08.2014
Once we went to a shop with a friend, we went out. The door is double. Two guys come in to the left, we, accordingly, are waiting for a bla bla bla on our own, and then we go out through the right. Looking back, a young man with a demonic gaze accompanies us. O_O
As it turned out, he kept the door for us all the time.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №102205
 28.08.2014
Trolling 80 lvl - give a horse to the dentist.

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