bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87570
 28.09.2013
Dialogues in the
How good it is not to fear anything or anyone.
Better not to be afraid of anything or anyone.
X: and ignore

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87569
 28.09.2013
Discussion of food preservatives.

There is no difference between artificial or natural. Our bodies do not watch stupid TV shows and do not read any heresy on the Internet.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №87568
 28.09.2013
This "nothing-doing engineer-designer" only on the main work last month made and issued CMD drawings on 90t of metal structures + 200t of inspection, in the previous - on 130t + 350 inspection.

I know such engineers. They sit in the design offices, they do not see the iron itself, they get babies for the issue of toilet paper, their chiefs waste money, and we at the factory then rework all the drawings for a salary, 2-3 times smaller. Good luck, don’t be overwhelmed by your "merited" salary!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87567
 28.09.2013
Orthodontist, who is the dinosaur?
-Aga, and the diploma is a relative of the diplodoc xD

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87566
 28.09.2013
One of my friends is in prison, so it happened. And he asks her in a letter to send her a set of glasses. The usual glasses. My mother didn’t want to send anything at first. But then came a wonderful idea. She took simple glasses and made prints on them: "Do not kill", "Do not steal", "Do not steal" and so on. When she talked about her idea at work, the girls went down with money to buy her glasses. And when she came to a company that makes prints, she had another 50% discount on such an order. This is a home crowdsourcing.)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №87565
 28.09.2013
5 consecutive SMS from a pregnant wife (an average break of 3 minutes):
Fuck, I want to fuck.
and chips.
- Buy marinated mushrooms when you go from work
and kefir.
I’m probably going to my mom today.

O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87564
 28.09.2013
Dad opened YouTube for himself. Now she looks at videos about cats and chicks loudly.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87563
 28.09.2013
From the hashtag, a post about Easter on Google's Birthday, everyone boasts in comments screens with records in the range of 150-180 points. Here, one of the struts with a record of 901, on the screen can be seen that the language is Belarusian. Comments to post:
It is in Belarus.)

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87562
 28.09.2013
Imagine a world where everyone is vegetarian. People would cease to grow animals intended for slaughter, which means that millions of pigs, cows and chickens would not even get the right to live, even with subsequent transformation into cocklets or getting into soup.Moreover, domesticated livestock is absolutely not ready for independent existence, so, anyway, most such animals are doomed, even without a butcher's knife - chickens learned to fly, which makes them an easy prey for predators, and cows would rest in the first winter. Those who would still be able to adapt to the natural conditions would cause irreparable damage to the wildlife. Is it better than eating meat?

Obligate all vegetarians to keep a couple of cows and pigs at home, let them take care of them, feed them. Well, if they fight for their rights, then let them do it all to the end... or they can only glorify and agitate in their ranks...
PS Really got it. At work in the office of 10 people 6 vegetables. I’m already bypassing the refrigerator with their containers with green shining in the dark vegetable soups of purple. And why are all vegetarians so fiercely called into their ranks, such a feeling that they are jealous that everyone around them is eating meat, and they are not.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87561
 28.09.2013
If you suddenly find yourself stuck in a chariot and dumbly dragging it somewhere on an infinite road, it may be that you have been struck, and the fault of the struck.
But the fact that you looked like a riding donkey who only needs this is not the fault of anyone but you.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №87560
 28.09.2013
Shortly and for the first time.
A friend told me. He works in GIBDD and somehow on duty he stops the machine for a violation (which is not important). Driving a very pleasant woman. Presented as required.
I violated the ‘point’.
She asks:
What threatens me?
He is:
One to two times dead.
And she doesn’t see a murmur, but in her mouth it was heard... and she says embarrassed:
“You know, I don’t mind at all... but my husband is sleeping on the back seat.
A friend is half...

[ + 46 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87559
 28.09.2013
If you don’t know what to buy to a girl, tell her as if you’ve already bought a gift and offer her to guess. She will list what she wants.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87558
 28.09.2013
Here began the first freezing... the stoves in the electric stoves were transferred to the mode of incineration.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №87557
 28.09.2013
Today on Rambler two consecutive announcements:
In the Khabarovsk region there is a rapid decline of water.
Water has been found in Martian soil.
Does he go there?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87556
 28.09.2013
The judgment is not guided by conscience. The judge...

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87555
 28.09.2013
by Dybala:
to this:

Task for 1st class:
"E__k from fear tries to eat!"
Task: insert the slogan "g"...

What will the fear do? They come together. When will you remember?

What is the fear trying to do? to go. Go to school.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87554
 28.09.2013
The relationship with my husband has reached the point of boiling, in my hearts I write to one near-psychological community, that, say, most men are ungrateful by their nature, all victims - career, friends, hobbies - for their sake will not be appreciated and as a result the less you pay attention to them, the more they love us. I described quite in detail some characteristic examples, but from the "left" account, I know that my husband also reads this page sometimes.

Suddenly I see, among other comments, the angry response of my husband, that you, girl, a loser, we have no such in the family, we have a love-carrot and a full package of mutual understanding!
I’m sitting all night with my face –"Shoot?o_O". Then an upset husband comes in, ticks my post in the face and begins to complain that because of such... other women will think the same about their husbands, although they, other men, are not such and no one is to blame that "this fool just got the goat!"
I endured a tirade, with the effort of will holding back the stone face, so as not to explode thought, if not to add as an update to the post:" taking advantage of the opportunity, I want to pass on a greeting to my husband %userneym%" o, santa simplicita ))


[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №87553
 28.09.2013
I collect a sect of witnesses of square batteries 'Planet 1'

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87552
 28.09.2013
Previously I bought sugar, and poured it in a large bowl, from under mayonnaise, the last time (yesterday), bought sugar refined, and poured it in a bowl, today the employee approaches the bank, in his hands holds a spoon, sugar poured, opens the bowl and hangs minutes for two)))) I didn't stand, now the whole department rjet)
They said I broke the system.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №87551
 28.09.2013
to this:
In Dagestan, there has never been such a thing that in the collection, in the mail, in the conspiracy, and in general in any state office (mines and taxes do not count) employees camouflage customers. Everywhere polite, explain in detail what is unclear, help. It’s been a month in Novgorod. What do you do to them that they are so wicked?
I am...
In the rest of Russia, the situation with firearms is stricter. They are not afraid of anything. Not ordinary employees or officials.

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