bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80883
 29.04.2013
xxx: {link to picture with text: "Today is Monday, and tomorrow is Friday"
I am Jokingly
So in 2 days we should have time as in a week @ boss
XXXX: Rolex


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80882
 29.04.2013
After the son is sent to the father-in-law for a day or two, he returns to us in an unbalanced and extremely exhausted state. My wife and I call it the “Grandma’s Effect.”

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №80881
 29.04.2013
“That’s always the case in the spring, Maugli,” Balu said, breathing hard on his ear.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80880
 29.04.2013
A young woman speaks on the phone:
I’m glad I didn’t get on the car today. You imagine, I look out the window, so all the moves are closed, the cars are standing, horror! Probably an accident somewhere.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80879
 29.04.2013
Stelve: Fantasy writers have seen the man of the 21st century conquering space on ultra-fast starlights. They believed that this person would be able to solve any global problem, defeat disease and be fucking educated.
So what do we have now? Man of the future, equipped with a healthy shoulder (with a flexible display!!), lying in his pocket, with miracle glasses on his eyes and clocks on his hand (which show anything, but not the time), constantly hanging in social networks, posting photos from his glasses on Instagram, and viewers - on YouTube, parallel asking the clock for a new cast, and then on that wifay constantly rolls off.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №80878
 29.04.2013
After the confused question of the neighbor: "The cats have not been born yet?" - I realized that the cat is really time to put on a diet.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80877
 29.04.2013
Now on TV advertising of a new foreign car, the slogan "Ideal for Russian roads".
A little lower under the star "Not intended for driving off-road".
It was beautiful, nothing to say.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №80876
 29.04.2013
Advertising: "Candelaki, Simonian - iron ladies!"
Looking at them, there is another slogan: "silicon bl@di!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80875
 29.04.2013
Alexey: I fought with sweaters over the weekend.
Alexey: Well, how I fought... I was kicked off=)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80874
 29.04.2013
zzz: There is really a vacuum shit.
SSS: More specifically?
ZZZ is spherical.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80873
 29.04.2013
I can explain about the arrows "right-left" on the torpedo of the training machine.

I am the Left. At one time, I was re-taught to hold a spoon and pen with my right hand. Then everyone was re-taught, not at home - so in school. Something I can do with both hands, something only with the left, something only with the right. So, I think, so far, with the definition of left-right I have a lot of tension. It doesn’t work automatically, I have to think a few seconds first, and on the road it’s not always possible. Probably a lot like me.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80872
 29.04.2013
Goyarn: I like good ends. All enemies are dead, heroes are alive and all fucking.

DEMON: I will only say that the first half of your phrase is quite ambiguous, about the second half I would rather be silent. LOL

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80871
 29.04.2013
Announcement in the trolleybus:
"Conductors are required for constant work, from 16 tr"
On the bottom of the pen is assigned: "not issued"

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80870
 29.04.2013
On one of the new fashion websites, where anonymously ask questions:
Sex as a package.? to
In the sex shop, I smash phaloimitators with spicy pepper until nobody sees them.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №80869
 29.04.2013
You seem to be good. What are you doing with the caregivers?
I buried in the yard. A kind of collection.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80868
 29.04.2013
The careless Colonel of the State Inspectorate, being detained by state inspection officers, drilled, threatened them with "big problems" and eventually tried to throw the drug. The situation is funny, but for some reason it is not funny at all.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80867
 29.04.2013
The letter has arrived (orthography and punctuation are preserved):
" Expensive technical support! My page is not displayed correctly. I chose the item "boy" looking for "girl" and in the general search I was shown how a guy is looking for a guy and I was added a GAY. Real with all the photos and a shaved blob, etc. What should I do?"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80866
 29.04.2013
I am in line with the exchange. In front of me two guys, one asks: "How much to change?"
The second:"I don’t know, take a cell phone, call Alexey and ask!"
First"How is it written?"
The second: "Alexey the Right".
He goes out to call, comes back in a minute, it’s their turn. The first says to the cashier "We have 400 euros".
They are not burning ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №80865
 29.04.2013
Acapable: A phone with video support I bought one of the first, t.k. He saw the possibility of carrying normal porn into the sperm bank.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80864
 29.04.2013
I work as an instructor. I run the exams route in MREO with a student.
She asks, “Will the inspector go with me all the way or will it have to be disembarked somewhere?”
I: "Well, how boring you will be!"

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