bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №128985
 03.06.2016
The taxi driver, whom I stopped on June 3 at the crossroads of New Arbat and Arbat Street and left at Lotte Plaza, asked me to wait, if you read this - forgive me, I have never done so. I forgot where you were, and I didn’t have your phone, and by 9 o’clock I had to go to work.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128984
 03.06.2016
Recruited in Yandex "Where to go with a girl in the evening in Vorkuta"
At the first reference offered air tickets. Could this really be the way out?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128983
 03.06.2016
Talk about life extension:
XXX: No need to die.
YYY: It depends on the development of technology.
XXX: Ultimately, the extension of life is quite successful with the help of virgin blood
YYY: Here’s you, and you’ll have the blood of virgins, and I’ll buy a couple of cyber implants.
ZZZ: Challenging life is powerful


[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128982
 03.06.2016
For example, in the surgical department, where the masha nurse decided to go for a walk (for a very respectable reason, of course).
or a client manager in the bank (I don't know how this position is called), and as a result, a two-hour turn (hello collectors, RochtPassions, and other terrible places)
and may be an engineer masha, but masha can not be sent on a business trip, with a kid, let them wait for a week. Or two.
Oh! and may be a firefighter rescue masha (feminists passionately fight for the abolition of the law prohibiting women to be rescuers / firefighters). The burning house will wait, the victims in the accident too - Masha chooses children's food.

What is?
Have you been to the surgical department? The interchangeability of nurses is amazing.
"Customer Manager" I will not even answer. A stupid example
Yes, Masha-engineer is not sent on a business trip and believe me, everyone treats this normally, this greatly affects career growth and salary.
He killed the last one. You will decide with whom you are struggling, with ovulations or females, then these are different layers of female society, never even intersecting.
You are like the same feminists who write all the men into goats.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128981
 03.06.2016
My friend once caught a radio sign from a neighbor’s radio. A friend is fighting in the kitchen, cooking food, a radio employee sends a signal that the child is awake, the snack wants. She cried, and there was silence. And so several times...
Yyy: There is a horror movie about it)))
...where the radiant catches the voices of the demons of hell
The Hungry Demons of Hell)
YYY:...and described
XXX If you are lucky.
XX: We feel the experience, yes.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №128980
 03.06.2016
by aluv:
We get out of the subway today, and a man nearby on the phone says:
Take my account on the iPhone.
Nda... Here I think another "Bear" and here is my wife, not holding on:
“Call me on Lenovo, Yow!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №128979
 03.06.2016
That fucking...
— — — —
------------
This is only true if a man and a woman earn equally. Otherwise, if a man takes over the household, then the wife will have to earn. But why does it usually mean that a man should earn and a man should do housework too.
--------------
How did you go with the word. Marriage is not a duty, not a duty, not a list of debts. It is a union of close people who love and value each other.
And it is absolutely not appropriate for a beloved wife to cook dinner, even coming from work later on, if she, for example, is tired and asks for it. Without calculation of wages and other work done. Just like that, fucking. Because it is nice to do for a loved one.
As well as vice versa. As in general, the distribution occurs...in essence, the necessary is simply done, by common efforts and there is no need to share who more, and who less has done, the common good and for the sake of the common, and not the personal convenience of the loved one(s) is done.
And if all of the word must - so fucking and buy paid services. A marriage where the list of debts and claims to each other is not understandable.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128978
 03.06.2016
A girl rents an apartment with a girlfriend. She tells how her girlfriend invited her to her birthday...First there were flaming and epic speeches, how the celebrations would take place, then how everyone would get drunk, then how something would be broken, etc.

Well, okay, invited, fun will be) And then slowly it comes to her that she just invited to throw her own apartment, with her own participation))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128977
 03.06.2016
Strofer: Maybe for Trump’s diversity, and he will revive the IRA? All Muslims are Muslims...
Ateyu: And with the IRA everything is fine, the guys live, work. Let the RDRP revive – this is the bomb!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128976
 03.06.2016
Furniture from Poland - furniture from Poland, furniture from Poland - furniture of Poland, or Polish (with the big letter, aa) furniture. A furniture polish is precisely furniture wax for polishing. Nail polish is a nail lacquer, not a Polish nail. Don’t worry, mathematician, it’s better to find proof of Ferm’s theorem or what you like there.

and here "Nail a polish" can already mean "Take a Polish" or "Take a Polish"...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128975
 03.06.2016
The troll must be thick. After his death, he will bear those who will bear his grave.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №128974
 03.06.2016
Handicapped people in Europe:
- first achieved the improvement of the standard of living: heightened healthcare, education and social protection, equipped infrastructure
Someone was able to get a high-paying job, someone got a decent benefit
People with disabilities have the opportunity to buy cars and spend money in hypermarkets.
In order for them to be more comfortable and closer - hypermarkets began to place special parking lots for them.
of logic? is right?
Handicapped in Russian:
Hypermarkets have special parking spaces for disabled people.
- now they either stand empty, or there are solid people parked with solid xivs, or the evacuator pulls the cars of the rest.
- and disabled people sit at home, without cars, without money and without the possibility to leave the entrance without assistance.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №128973
 03.06.2016
From the Diaries of V.V. Yershov - about the Tu-154, 1993

In flight, we do not fully trust any of our systems, units or instruments. Neither the six-stringed NGO (“Cybernetic Companies’ Pallot-Greek”), nor the unfortunate radio compass, nor the praised ABSU, nor the insidious automate of traction. And the whole flight is based on the principle: watch, look at it, stick to the side. It flies on almost every flight. Only you guess: what gyrosystem in the course system goes, and where; what air horizon is overwhelmed (a little bit, and there is); what speed indicator vibrates; on what parameter - azimut or distance - do not trust "Michael"; what locator hit: just barrachlo, what is mainly our "Groza", or in general, honest shit, the X-ray apparatus; exaggerate or lower spending meters, whether the fuel meters are rolled, and in what group of tanks more fuel; why the plane is curved, leaves the course and holds the tangle in the drive of the autopilot; whether a tablet with a tape-card lies heavily; whether a communicative radio station with a range of 16,000 kilometers or simply a failure to pass the waves.
...
be ready! Always ready!
I still love my bite. You won’t explain it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128972
 03.06.2016
XXX: A month ago, I picked up a cat. He ran under the windows and spoke with an inhuman voice like that goat. I tried to throw him cheese from the balcony, but he knew it was, and other cats ate the cheese. They beat him, which became an unpleasant discovery for me from the world of cats.
Yyy: I share the surprise xxx, I have never heard cats beat cheese before.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №128971
 03.06.2016
It is summer,
I go to Dacia.
in the hands of the wicked
Patch to Apache.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128970
 03.06.2016
And it is obvious that the solution is simple, and there are countries where everything is implemented: at first, men begin to massively perform half the housework and take half the decree, as a consequence of this, the working skills and experience of the women are increased, the population is growing and compared to the male. and Voila.
But as soon as this thought snatches into the brain of the Russian man – oh, it’s all! Babes are foolish, lazy, and they know that we will not pay them money to fight with spindles. and I? And what am I? What a decree, I am carrying money in the family!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №128969
 03.06.2016
XX: So that day has come.
I’ve been preparing for it for many years – 16 years, more than half of my life. I trained, read books, prepared morally and psychologically from day to day, repeating to myself that you just have to accept and do it. I have visited forums where condemned people like me have gathered and read about their experiences. I knew it would happen someday, I knew. But I still don’t feel ready.
However, there is no way back. All the bridges were burned. I have to do it. Today and now.
May the gods help me!

Where is the "Find a Job" button on this site?

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128968
 03.06.2016
Interestingly, all those who think it is right to dismiss women at the first signs of pregnancy, agree that all the others should be dismissed if they can not do their job for a long time (broken the working arm or received another injury)? Somebody will have to do their job all this time.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128967
 03.06.2016
One hundred percent of divorces are due to marriage.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128966
 03.06.2016
At the institute, a guy started taking care of me. And here we sit in the cafe in the evening, and he says in a romantic whisper that he has devoted his poems to me. and begins to read. I have loved poetry since I was a child and I know a lot of them. In general, little of what strangers, as well as having to fix it, confused. He badly told me that I would never get married if I was so smart.

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