bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85207
 05.08.2013
>>> I am looking for a young mistress for sex without obligations in her territory

Why are you her? With such requirements? and ;)

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85206
 05.08.2013
to this:

Moscow is a terrible city. I am standing somewhere in a small street. The car dopes. It is a continuous flow. The lightforest is - well all for them - three minutes for the flow of cars, 10 (!) for the passage of pedestrians. Here we waited, the pedestrians, finally the green light, the cars, of course, stood up. But shit, it has begun! They started signaling as if in each of these cars a person was dying. Even those who were in the front rows and saw the green right in front of their impatient nose. All those ten seconds they signaled, while numerous pedestrians ran across the narrow, fortunately, passing part, as if there were even a portion of unpassed. Say, you in Moscow are generally taught that the road sometimes even pedestrians cross?

I live in Vienna. On a lively but small crossroads of lightforest. For pedestrians, it burns for only 3 seconds! And when he begins to flash, the rushed grandmothers are just beginning their way to the other side. Whoever is scratching!! Cars can stand and wait for pedestrians until the next green! I am a cyclist and for myself I can say that there are buses and buses in a row behind me and wait patiently for a convenient opportunity to get around me if I have to drive on a narrow road! In Moscow, I would have been moved five times and beaten up last. Feel the difference of cultures, gentlemen!

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №85205
 05.08.2013
Senya: I have a cat named Yasha
Senya: I kindly call her Yesha-huesha
Senya: now Nina has taken another cat
Senya: and called Yasha))
Maximum is awesome!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85204
 05.08.2013
Whoever is happy with the holiday is drunk the day before! c) The classic
Dims: The classic shit, don’t come more buhim where cultural people are buffering! Do not come at all!
$talkeR: Okay, I just broke a couple of plates. of business)
Do you have memory failures again? Do you remember the dishes? No further?
In all, you have 10 pounds. The closet and the window. The same for cleaning the sofa and carpet.
Dims: Two liters of valerian cat for compensation for shock from flight out of the window. And a box of beer for me, as I watched it.
Dims: How much for a lenkin’s dress – I don’t know, ask her yourself. Do not show your husband in the eyes.
Dims: Regarding Grisha and his guitar... My advice to you: run skiing abroad at night, or rather go to Mars at all!
$talkeR: What kind of ski? Summer in the courtyard! What are you, fool? What is Mars?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85203
 05.08.2013

A man, thoughtfully chewing croissant and looking closely at me:
Husband: There is a sign that if you fuck a beautiful girl on her birthday, then the whole year will be happy.
I: What do you mean?
Husband: And she doesn’t necessarily have to be smart!

I am... and not necessarily a wife???! to

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85202
 05.08.2013
Here is this:
by A-ha ha! How sexual preferences change with age: in the second episode of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, not the beautiful blue eyes of young Anakin Skywalker are now liked, but the chic beard of Obi-Wan. Probably in twenty years I will notice how erotic Darth Vader breathes. ...only reading five times, I realized that the post from a girl

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85201
 05.08.2013
xxh: Well... how public posters to draw, they say "at your discretion".. as a congratulation to the dean / chief to write - "nu mainly so that it is beautiful, and so at your discretion". And how to put music to a wedding or birthday... all at once "no soulful something, well you know". And you know that the spiritual is Kadysheva, Allegrov, Mikhailov, and the desire to send everyone with their "soul", music...

WOW: When I finished school, I was forced to cook the performance until the last call. In the t. and soundtrack. At least one infection said "at your discretion"! With the native walls would say goodbye to the music of Pink Floyd, Queen and The Birthday Massacre... but the release ended up under strawberries, rap and Gregory Leps.

xxx: Here and listening then you sit talking about that "I miss my home school, blabbled", and in the very soul HATE SUCK still from the fact that broke the blue dream to leave beautifully)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85200
 05.08.2013
On the Mumbai questionnaire: I am a shabby girl!
The devil never burns.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85199
 05.08.2013
Do you need a fumigator?
YYY: I have not yet expired my shoe license.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №85198
 05.08.2013
A cat has driven out another cat. Now he’s afraid to go into the yard and looks through the maid, “The cat at home?”"If not, then comes to steal food.
A cat drives a dog out of a cage and sleeps there. The dog sleeps under the doorway.
XXX: The child attracted three cats
The cats ate and cried. Everybody pleased
XXX: The cats were pumped on a carpet and deported to a special yard
XXXX: Cats broke the fence, dog squeezed, dog sleeps behind the house
XXX: Cats kicked the cat out of the cottage, the codec sleeps under the doorstep. A hungry cat looks at her through the fence - the bowl is next to the doorstep.
xxx: Tea locked the cats in the cabin for the night, so that they don’t freeze.
XXX: Cats broke a fence, all night playing in catching a tree
XXX is morning. A dog behind the house. The cat is hiding in the kitchen. The cat behind the fence. Cats sit on the legs of the tree and carefully look at the household.
XXX is scary.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85197
 05.08.2013
I understood why I bought a souvenir on the seas there and there only when I picked up the server.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №85196
 05.08.2013
> xxx: the boss runs in panic, saying, the phone is broken. The situation is this: they made a roof > in the house... one kind of "smart worker" went to the toilet in a large room in the ventilation room.
> the tube, and all this good fell on the mine into the apartment, and not to anyone, but to the deputy :D

wondering that the good fell into the apartment and did not fly to the end of the mine, the apartment was expanded at the expense of the mine and due to the lack of ventilation in other people. So I fully support the worker, I should have thrown a loot there.

[ + 22 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85195
 05.08.2013
Once again I am convinced, KVN - the right name, the club of fun and ingenious! Inventiveness is expressed literally in everything. Today on TV. Moscow Mayor’s Cup. In the room next to Sobyanin sits Maslyukov the younger and explains to him the meaning of the joke!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №85194
 05.08.2013
Shiko, here’s how I explain to her what a parabol is?
The space between the breasts
Avvakumoff, with such explanations I would have learned Matan.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №85193
 05.08.2013
News: Alexander Yemelianenko called to battle Vladimir Klitschko

to release in the cage at the same time the brothers Yemelianenko against the brothers Klitschko, in the pause Kabaev let the ribbons spin and Isinbaev there and there jump through the ring. The duo of salts will be angry by jealousy.

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85192
 05.08.2013
News on Yandex.
"News": data from cameras on the roads will be sent directly to GIBDD...

Where did they go before?O_O

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85191
 05.08.2013
>> I'm not going to play with him in the mafia :(
>> and what is it?
>> his fantasy is crazy, under his "city falls asleep - a goat wakes up" awakened everyone! I guess, look at the hoodie.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85190
 05.08.2013
As I said, I don’t like to repeat.

[ + 12 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85189
 05.08.2013
I’m a girl with a pretty characteristic dolly face: big eyes, a clean nose, a small mouthpiece. I met a tall strong young man, with very beautiful full lips (I like this type of very).
A warm sunset, we are in the park, eyes in eyes, and the first kiss happens. The young man in a minute opens up and with a sincere affection pronounces the masterpiece: “You have such a small mouth... How do you eat them?”

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85188
 05.08.2013
YYY: What did you do with the girls there? Julia is still in shock.
XXX: It’s not me, it’s her. I am in the type of a half-Greek god. She decided to see if I had anything underneath her, and then raised a sword at the side of Toga. And I have a rod that shines in a swimsuit, because there are no pockets or belts. She sat down on the earth, her eyes looked small and she said, "He's there! It is there!"
YYY: Mlia, the shura! She will now have stress on the ground of sex! How would she sleep with normal men?? to
YYY: Didn’t you get along with Lena either?
Damn, where did that come from? At night +12 of all, I am without a bedroom, and she is in the bedroom and on the pen. I just wanted to warm up a little. On what drunk, even tried not to wake up to avoid ambiguity and misunderstanding.
YYY: You are burning! Who will believe you except me?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna