Wife to husband:
I bought you five pairs of cowards, now you have enough for a lifetime.
The husband:
Did you find me a short life...or do I not know something?

The real hobby of our generation is the nutty and dull talk about nothing. Failed relationships, problems with studies, boss fool. It is a complete shit. If you don’t do anything, there’s only one fool – you.

© George Carlin

Semen understands letters from El Mail
Corps Chat

50 letters received.
Help the Seed.
C1: Seed brother stay there
Chapter 2: Happiness is There
Section 2: Health

In late 2009, Alex Ray Joel (daughter of the famous singer Billy Joel and the singer herself) broke up with a young man. We don’t know anything about the young man’s feelings, but Alex was so distracted that she decided to commit suicide. The singer took 15 pills of anesthetic from the pharmacy box and soon, as she thought, felt bad: sweat on her forehead, her hands began to tremble. Then she was frightened, called 911 and that she wanted to die and swallowed pills. Of course, the ambulance arrived and took him to the hospital. The doctors immediately let the patient go home. Unfortunately, the story is silent about what the doctors told Alex and how much effort they had to keep a serious face expression.

Alexey was incredibly lucky: she tried to kill herself with the help of the homeopathic medicine "Traumel". It is not common homeopathy in the sense that there is still a small number of molecules of active substances there. However, the concentration of mercury, belladonna, sulfur liver and other dangerous substances in this drug is not large enough for 15 tablets to produce at least some effect.

Per if the singer took, say, 2000 tablets (which corresponds to 40 full bottles of medicine), then doctors in the laboratory would be able to detect minor deviations from the norm in her blood. The case of Alexa is the only documented example that homeopathy can save lives.

The girl called. He said he wanted a camera.

We agreed to meet on the blue branch at Victory Park at 12:00.

I waited for an hour and a half and her phone was offline.

At 2 p.m. she called and screamed at the telephone that I was a mu-ak, whom she waited for 2 hours... In Moscow... On the blue branch... On the Victory Park...

I am from Peter. All the ads are Peter’s.

What WTF?! to

I lived in a community, lived... until 5 courses. Then a neighbor, a first-class student, settled in front of me. So it is not accepted, of course, tried to settle so that the courses coincided, but - so it worked. Well settled and settled, the guy looks like normal. We live and coexist. And here he is somehow: my mom sent me a package (he was from Kursk), I need to go get it. Go to. And the package with the bus was sent, and (let it be) Vitya went for her a day later, well, count how much she had gone before... So here. to bring. There, among other things, sausage, smoked. Now with a white blade.

Vivian looks at her: probably to throw it out...

I: Give it here.

I look around, smell, say, no, it’s okay, you can eat. Just have to wash.

Well, if you want, eat, and I will not!

I have eaten. I didn’t even say “ik.” I didn’t even have to drink vodka, all the norm. And what do you want - I've been in the 5th year of life in community - and I didn't have such a meal;)

The next day. He went somewhere for his business. The evening. Wit is not. Well, I think it’s not enough, Moscow, maybe a young man where he stuck.

The morning. knock at the door. Open it and get out of the couch! Two girls in white coats. And with some orange balloon and sprayer.

They say: Hi, we need to disinfect the room.

I: Well, I don’t mind it, but did you shuffle? ? to ? to

They: Well, here’s your neighbor... he’s in the hospital. In the infectious. With poisoning. Therefore, once you have a community, you need a disinfection, or little...

I: Okay, let’s... what about him, his neighbor?

They: Well, we don’t know, call the hospital.

What kind of hospital is that?

The third is infectious.

Well, okay, I leave the room, they were there splashing out of the sprayer, and I went to the hospital.

I come.

Security: It is not provided! This is infection!

I: and if so (I show 100 rubles)?

Noah... Okay, go on.

I go into the room, asking Vitu what, how, what happened at all?

As a result, it turned out: he ate at the Kiev railway station and was so twisted in the subway that the people around him called the ambulance. They were hospitalized.

I said to him: I told you that you should eat the sausage, and you "throw it out, throw it out"... well, what - did you eat "fresh meals"? ? to ? ))))

You know, I don’t have a musical instrument, nor the habit of wearing a backpack or carrying anything else in the transport, except my body and maybe a pair of bags of food. But when I see/hear your fucking take the place of another person!", I understand: not about people the author thinks, not about people. The comfort of his ass and the reluctance to understand what he lives among people, above all.

The case was long enough. I was repairing my phones at the time. I had a school friend. It is not so that the water does not melt directly, but we communicated well enough... until a certain moment...

He calls me in this dialogue:

and greetings! My phone broke here. The display stopped showing. Would you help?

No problem – no problem! 90 percent that the shelf is overwhelmed. Buy on the way, it costs 100pcs and we will replace!



He comes, brings the phone and the shelf.

after resting, I understood that the matter was not in the slide, but in a single chip (for those who know the emi filter). Well, I think there is more work, but no problem, we replace it with switches.

He spent an hour patching under a microscope, gathered, checked and called him, saying, take it all right!

A friend comes, pleased, shrugged his hand, said he would go and left.

After a day call:

“You, Gandon, I checked, you didn’t change the shelf! What fucking thing did you tell me to buy it? Do you want to fuck me, shit? by Kiddala! ...

I didn’t even know what to answer. After a while, he blocked my number, removed from friends on social networks and I couldn’t see him again. Except a couple of times by car.



That’s how I made a favor, I “throw” and lost a friend :)

I photographed an apartment. Connect the Internet, set up the router. We decided not to password wifi, the open network is available to everyone, the name of the point - the number of square meters. After a few days, a ringing on the door and a dialogue:

Do you have wifi open?

Yes, I am with us.

Are you officers? We checked and turned off the internet. The child is getting in touch. Enter the password! We are tired!

Jovan: Rockamark, are you relatives?
rockamark: jovan, brothers, separated in childhood
Helengar: rockamark, only you in your childhood read Yesenin's poems, and he had an envelope from an air refresher?

Zzzz: Yes guys. Those who write secular news, asked not to put naked aunts. Google is complaining about this.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The same Google that Yakubovich died every day?
ZZZ : Oh yeah
xxx: That Google that "husband stood 24 hours"? Is this Google against aunt?
ZZZ is yes. They are afraid of competitors.

That’s what you’ve gotten to the salt?
Salt, pizza, okroshka and many others - dishes of the kind "we open the refrigerator and make from what is".

As for fast food:
If I’m in a strange city (especially by car), then I’ll find McDak and eat for 300-409 re, but I’m not going to play Russian roulette with my stomach in search of a 150 table. Just don’t equate McDougall and KFC to hamburgers and similar local crafts ;)

>I wanted the girl LOVE to feel, and let her play the puzzles: it was crazy -> forgive => felt LOVE. And until she is unforgiven, she will forgive nothing, so she will walk her whole life unforgiven, and, therefore, unloved!

Chuawaaaak, now you just explained everything that was still unclear to me in this life.

XXX: And the Americans undermined the Negro protests. In the case of the Negro.
Yyy: It was not a protest, but a mass vandalism.
YYY: They didn’t even have any demands.
Do you stop shooting us?
zzz: These are obviously unfulfillable requirements.

What is the name of the male sheep? :)
Mary.Jay is a goat

...why in the stories of the Unknown Dr. Pilulkin always treated everyone, even the healthy?
Why is?
He was a paid doctor.

They seemed to have no money, there was a kind of commune, they did not live on the moon.
This is more a question of "necessary conditions". You dream of helping people, treating people, the necessary condition - someone must get sick. And while everyone is healthy, the doctor is sitting, such, and sad that no one needs him. I want to feel needed!
The same can be said of many "spiritual values". by Napr. "If he loves, he will forgive" I wanted the girl to feel LOVE herself, and let her play the puzzles: it was crazy -> forgive => felt LOVE herself. And until she is unforgiven, she will forgive nothing, so she will walk her whole life unforgiven, and, therefore, unloved! Here is...
A friend is recognized in trouble, also the frames are caught, sitting shit you want to join your need for friendship to show.
Dreams of Knights.
And, at the same time, no one’s brain doesn’t turn on even for a minute. It all happens at the subconscious level.

Happiness is

<<< My husband goes to bed, I am already lying down, thinking: even if he had no sex, because it is cold and I will fall. Lenny leads his hand on the roof, and I am in pyjamas. He says, “Well, fucking, you’re in your pants all the time... and you’re going to sleep. The pyjamas! The best method of contraception! >>>>

What a high relationship! What a slide! Romantic in full growth!
If anyone was still in doubt whether to get married, now the answer is obvious!
The rest are jealous.

Why do I need to do sports?
A boy to be strong to protect a girl.
Little is sitting and bubbling: Katya walks karate, Elia at ken-do, Ulya at tequondo, and Polina?
Polina is going to shoot.
Which of them will I protect? Swimming very fast.
It seems funny, but a friend's son is going on some paperwork...

The new life life hack:

1st If there are no options, then the purchased bank of condensate in the pocket of the puppy can become an ohuen castet;
2nd Hopkins may not have been so painful, but...
Three ... from the nickname "Sweet" they have not been able to get rid of)))

Smokers have a lobby here :) Nothing else can logically explain the presence on the humorous resource of this UG

The amount of money that smokers bring into the budget allows them to smoke EVERYWHERE, except oil bases.

By the way, someone wrote that from a package of excise duty 20 p. Two packs a day for a month comes out of 1200. Colossal money. Let us continue? I pay so much tax on alcohol to the state that I can blame anywhere. I pay food VAT so much that I can pay anywhere. I pay so much transportation tax that I can’t stop before the pedestrian crossing. I pay so much taxes that I can’t obey the laws. Find out more ☺