From the New Year's Holidays:

Many people don’t know what day of the week is.

This morning I came to work, walked the corridor without light and saw the ring stamp, went to the office, considered the test, the result: gold. I thought I would go to Lombard, I would feel the money of the lungs. After 15 minutes, I look at a man in the corridor with a lamp walking what he is looking for, without thinking I go out: "The ring is lost? Take it.” And I give him, in response a word of gratitude and phone number asks, say I will throw money on the balance sheet, I refuse, asks more persistently. After 15 minutes comes the message: "In your account received a payment for the amount of 40 rubles"...



I sat down and thought, maybe it wasn’t a gold ring?

While sitting under the door of the auditorium in the universe, he listened to the conversation of our masters.

"When we were discharged from the community, the watchman says to us, 'Oh, how sorry you are coming, you are so quiet, you are not visible, you are not heard all year, and before you such prostitutes lived here, they were noisy every night! We didn’t tell her that we lived here for four years.

A review on AliExpress for car light bulbs:
Everything works. I wondered why I bought it, but I didn’t have a car.

Thanks to the eggs, I am not alone.

"The fools are lucky" - they say only when other people are lucky.

The Russians have come up with a way not to pay for bank loans.

“The first with such an initiative were the residents of the Nuremberg district of Yakutia. Immediately several people placed in an inconvenient position employees of the regional FSB administration, sending them letters with competent explanations why they refused to pay for the loan. Such information with reference to Media2 is quickly spread by bloggers.

The content of the statements is approximately as follows:

“I took a loan from the bank, but then I did not know that the founders of the bank are foreign companies whose headquarters are located in NATO member countries. I am not against repaying the loan, but I cannot, since these acts fall under Article 275 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, namely, the provision of financial assistance to a foreign state, international or foreign organization or their representatives in activities directed against the security of the Russian Federation.

According to the law, persons who have committed the crimes provided for in this article shall be exempt from criminal liability if they have notified the authorities. It is written in four pages with detailed explanations. Now in the UFSB are thinking what to do with these statements.

On the other hand, if a precedent is created, a big scandal can break out. The counterintelligence officers have 10 days to make a decision.

“Given that the founders of network companies are registered in Cyprus, the Cayman Islands, etc. (But not in Russia) - soon we will not be able to pay for the communal. There is nothing to help the enemies” – in this spirit comment on social networks this news, which seems to have found general approval among the inhabitants of the country.

Stirren on the spaces of the tyrnet, apparently there is a reason in this formulation.

Do you want us to go to the jewelry store and find a gold ring with a diamond for you?
and no.
You listened to the miniature "conversation of the ideal husband with the ideal wife."

Sorry to call so late.
You’re not too late, you’re really bad.

I got the most reliable proof that I am a vegetable.
A goat tried to chew my hand.

I clarify:
I got the most reliable proof that I am a vegetable. - A goat tried to chew my hand.

Goats love branches, so you are not a vegetable.

Who does the list of errors? I couldn’t go by when I saw it. "The most astro smart thing?"

Here is science!
After collecting data on 2,600 cases of dog bites in humans, scientists at the University of Athens concluded that the phases of the moon do not affect the aggressiveness of dogs.

Take it seriously:

About Old Worship:
Luke Skywalker, being a descendant of a strong Jedi, studied Jedi in 3 episodes, barely defeated Darth Vader at the end of the trilogy, but was unable to defeat Emperor Palpatine, he was helped by Darth Vader himself.
And now, some girl-bomzhi, for the first time took in her hands a blue light sword, and almost collapsed the sit, prevented the rupture of the planetary crust. The man who was specially trained to kill a Negro was unable to do so. What awaits us in the next two episodes?

First, the girl-bomzhi may also be a descendant of a strong Jedi. Secondly, to compare an emo-boy with Darth Vader is a bit incorrect, not to mention that the boy at the moment of the decisive fight has a hole in the side of the weapon, which carries half a dozen assailants for a shot. Third, a specially trained Negro is specially trained only to shoot from a blaster; it is a miracle that he has not crossed his foot with a sword. Fourth, where is the story of Anakin, who in the first episode in ten years pilot a fighter and carries the enemy's linkor in one barrel without prior experience and not being, by the way, a descendant of a strong Jedi? Can the boys?

A acquaintance told a story. She works at the MTS call center. Hello girl, I don’t have a phone. What exactly does not work for you? I cannot turn it on! I have no hands! She was not prepared for such a situation. Thoughts rolled in his head, how he was calling? Let the nose press the turn button, or the foot. But here the man gives out: - The phone writes, enter your hand! The girl immediately calmed down, turned off the microphone and how let us laugh) She calmed down and told the man to go to the service center with a passport and you will find out her PUK code)

Small (8 years) after a tour to Pushkin:
Pushkin has completed the agricultural engineering.
The investigation showed: Tsarskoselski - the keyword "country", lyceum = technology...
With the current reality, you won’t argue.

misha_makferson: A strange advertisement "The Ring of All Power
Carbide of wolfram. It is 490 rubles. Fast delivery and self-export. Details by reference

the_stranger: The prices have fallen! It cost half a thousand.

khaa_alees: before the delivery was more difficult - four uncles dragged on foot

The client on the site, in the contact form as a jewelry was a millisecond head of a smiling girl. The client looks at her for a long time and then says:

You know, this girl doesn’t look happy. She smiles through the pain. Make her truly happy. As if her favorite dog fell under the car, but survived and continues to delight her with her existence.

The picture of the girl’s head was 5 by 7 pixels.

OrNix: I interviewed today. And I was not asked what my strengths and weaknesses, what joy.
BWH1te: It is incredible! Did you go to the interview?

Results of the week: A crumbling virgin cat and a sucking experienced cat in a gracious fire.

House type "tower" - one entrance, nine floors. Apartments at one time were given to employees of the same enterprise, so that all tenants know each other if not by names, then in person - for sure. In the conversation with the neighbor came the question - what, say, Katerina Pavlovna from the 19th apartment is not seen for a long time?

In the evening I went home, the windows were burning at 19. And Catherine Pavlovna is old already, she is no less than 85, or even all 90, little of what happened. I knock at the door...

In general, everything turned out to be normal: a grandson-student came to my grandmother, joined Katerina Pavlovna to the joys of the internet, she is not going for a walk now - she teaches French on online courses. I ask why French - so, she says, since childhood, she has read French novels, she wants now in the original!