bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69718
 08.09.2012
One of the first computer systems of U.S. air defense (the 1960s) in the first duty raised the alarm, assuming the moon rising from beyond the horizon as an enemy missile, as this "object" was approaching the territory of the U.S. and did not give signals that it was "your"

And was it not stated further that this happened because of the mistake of a man who put the maximum altitude of danger instead of 600 kilometers in 6 million kilometers?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №69717
 08.09.2012
I ended up with his unseen shower gel, used mine - with the smell of chocolate. We roll, we press, he smells of me), then his hand:
You’re chocolate, and I’m now chocolate, fun!
And so proudly:
You’re just chocolate and I’m chocolate with nuts.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69716
 08.09.2012
Jk: I have a fly on the monitor, as if I understand what shit I’m writing.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69715
 08.09.2012
You just need to push the press.
Deffachka: You press something on your legs and start
Deffachka: until the stomach hurts
Dexter: it does not hurt yet.
Deffachka: another catch
Only the legs hurt.
Deffachka: It’s OK
In the place where I put them in the couch.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №69714
 08.09.2012
The Orthodox Church warns: Reading the Bible leads to atheism!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69713
 08.09.2012
I set up a taxpayer.
What is usually written on the check?
Any joke out there...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №69712
 08.09.2012
My wife told me.
In the kindergarten of the son in the group holiday is the Day of the Family.
The teacher asks the mother and son questions alternately so that they do not hear each other's answers, and then the mother must guess how the son replied? I asked my mother:
What is your favorite dish and how do you call it at home?
The wife answers:
He loves kindergarten surprises. I call him a cat, a rabbit.
What the teacher answers:
Not so... think again. Your son answered differently.
The Wife:
Amy...?! to
The Educator:
Gastronomic answers :)
The Wife:
O O O O? !! by! to
It turns out that the son loves potatoes with meat (a delight – and then how?). As for the loving nicknames, he admitted that his house is called "Bulochka" and "Sosiska".
Such a contagious laughter from the other parents had never been heard before.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69711
 08.09.2012
She bought a cream, gave a candle as a gift. What to do with her...?
He: Go home, I’m going to snowboard!

[ + 35 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69710
 08.09.2012

You won’t believe what picture I saw today at 8am.
Olya:???????????????????????and.
Svetlana: in the fucking drunk GUSAR (!!!) She sits at the stop and the white horse eats the grass behind her!!!!..
Svetlana: in addition to everything else the Kazakh GUSAR))))))))))))))))))))))))

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69709
 08.09.2012
Today in the office, I was not allowed to sleep only by the choking of the boss, and that is true. and. and.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69708
 08.09.2012
The world has changed...
It is almost unrealistic to buy a simple black shirt without wheels, cuts, screws and "it is fashionable".
It turns out, it is already a problem to find a simple chair on wheels with a tough high back. Now there are more modern models, they can almost lie in. Try this chair."
And... Oh my God... When trying to find a new battery for your favorite Nokia 3310 phone, you are viewed as an alien from the Middle Ages.
As was said in one beautiful film, from the same "Medieval": "I want a simple human cocktail for 12 kopecks!"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №69707
 08.09.2012
Happy: Do you also have a cat at home?
Alexander: at home too))) almost 10 kilos he weighs, it's really he has lost weight already)))
Happiness: how did you eat it? for killing?
I didn’t know he would grow up like that 😉
Happy: Have you tried to take a cat on a date?))
Emily, how is it? And a naphira?
Happy: Girls are delighted with hairy babysitters) Taking a cat on a date - the chances of sex increased dramatically!)) And the phrase "I have such a nice cat at home. Do you want to see?" you can get a girl home faster than the phrase "go to me to see a movie!"
Alexander: Something in this is, but you know, 10 kg with you do not get especially, especially if you go for a walk in the city)
Happiness: The more a cat, the more charisma it has!)
Lucky: Competition can be made only nursing cats looking out of the pocket.
How funny it would be to look at.)
Happy: A small rat-like creature, by mistake named a dog, looking out of a woman’s bag – that’s what’s funny. And a cute guy, sports body with a ten-kilogram cat underarm - it is brutal, creative and unbeatable!) I would meet you.)
Alexander: achumet, well you said))) over will be like a thread to try what))))
Alexander: but the cat doesn’t especially like the street.
This is not how you raised the cat, Sasha.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69706
 08.09.2012
by derti.ru
It is time to standardize many spare parts so that the same applies to different cars. This would significantly reduce their service...
You buy the car emblem that you like more, you put the car in it.

[ + 38 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69705
 08.09.2012
Series car on compressed air

Tata Motors (a major Indian automaker) is preparing for the serial release of the car AirPod - a car on compressed air. In the 175-litre cylinder replacing this car, the gas tank on the refuelling station will be pumped under high pressure ordinary air. One gas station will be enough for 200 km, while the cost of one full gas station is expected to be about 1 euro. The manufacturer assures that the first air-powered AirPod cars will appear in France next year.

The first comment:
What a Euro! We will pump the pumps!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69704
 08.09.2012
Worms on Mile:
Please help! I slept with my friend’s mother. What to do now?

The answers:
The best :
You are like a daddy now!

Another commentary:
The Fighter!! Do nothing!
I once slept with my girlfriend’s mother.
It was a shame, Poppy!
Nothing is! Everything will pass.


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69703
 08.09.2012
X: What did you give for your birthday? Probably the car keys. and :-)
YYY: Oh yes, of course. The keys. The Gaia.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69702
 08.09.2012
RRR is a gift! What are you, like you? How is family life?
NNN: Fuck... I gather a little morning in the kindergarten, my wife smoothes my shirt and sings “Oh, beautiful boy, how many girls breathe, how many tears they shed looking at you.” Little continues "Mommy's mask, older sister's boots..."
RRR: ))))))))))))
NNN: I got the ass, now it blows...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69701
 08.09.2012
Forum, theme xperia x8
fff: uff... asked Android 4.0.4... hunted some bugs from Kungur... get rid of it)
Here I found you!! Do you talk loops?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69700
 08.09.2012
The Wife:
I bought a fish to burn, I don't remember what it was called.
The Polycarp?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №69699
 08.09.2012
Looking for Miley.
What is the century now?

I brought someone.

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