In the 90s, he was on a horse trip. The company was not very poor and the travel paid entirely. A bathroom for the car, a hotel, food you want, snacks, a spa salon or a pool at the hotel. Even a taxi, if it’s already a face in the olive. and all.

We stopped at the county cafe "U Colonel". When the menu was opened, it was a bit of creativity in the name of the dishes. Well there is a borst "easy death of the area", or a baking "white swan". This is just such a criminal slang. It turned out that the owner of the grocery was a former Colonel of the FSIN, and apparently the trace of a long service decided to rationalize in his own cafe.

They ate and went on. Upon arrival we hand over the cheque. In an hour, it is financial.

Are you really there, oh oh?

In the sense?

Is this what? - I get a check from the cafe at the Colonel, in it: dinner with confusion 150 rubles.

Long after, I had to explain what was called tomato salad with cucumbers.

Managing herds requires not only shepherds and dogs, but also high prices and housing shortages, low wages, selling media and imitation of education, culture and medicine.

Namedny crossed with one of the suppliers, said:
In his youth, he had a long care for the daughter of a very assured uncle. I thought I was getting married now - and my whole life would be a strawberry. was married. At the wedding, the aunt gave a house on Ostozhenka and $ 300,000 (at the end of the 90s - a huge amount even for the well-off uncles). Only this morning after the wedding I realized that the house is counted on the trust, and under the terms of the trust agreement it will be transferred together with all the income from the rental to our firstborn on his 18th birthday.
And the money?
The money is also in the trust and can be spent on teaching children at any university in the world.
Is it like you’re still married?
to marry. I then thought - I will get older - at least the children are sheltered:)))) And then I myself somehow broke up - the girl was faithful, supported!

In Texas, a man went after the girl in the shower, saying he identified himself as a girl.
The girl’s father knocked out his teeth, saying he identified himself as a Dental Fairy.

How then we visited with my husband in the cultural capital, descended in the metro "Gostinny dvor", and there, near the door, a man with a stunning view of everyone approaching the glass doors of the entrance to the metro gently whispered - "Lord, I rush to report, but the station of the metro "Gostinny dvor" is closed, please, go there and there, there will be another station, carefully, please, yes, left, there to the right and go out to another station", we, of course, obediently turned, and went where he said, but I still - "This is all of course great, but why does the bomzh tell us about this?"

When I was young, I worked as a tokar, and we were arranged in the shop of a guy, a little younger than me. And when we went after the shower, all the robots squeezed a little from his scars. They started from the tip of the fingers of the right leg and ended at the right ankle, a special treach was in the area of the abdomen, on the right side, as if in the tank burned, as in the movies show. After work, all to the barbecue, to the beer, there and there, well, and this guy does not break away from the group. Everyone, of course, is interested in asking, but somehow uncomfortable, so we drink in silence, smoke, wait for jokes. And here he himself, told me, where do these scars come from? I see that everyone is interested. Further from his words. I studied in the trail for a tractor driver, and in the third year I was sent to a local collegiate farm to practice. The colloquial was modernized, modern tractors were purchased and an accessory to them. I went to clean the potatoes. The tractor John Deer, and a healthy combo attached to it, runs on the bars, gathers potatoes, boots in one direction, land back on the grass, clean potatoes in the bunker. The bottva was separated from the potatoes and passed through two opposite rotating screws. And whether some technology was disrupted, or the combination was incorrectly configured, they were constantly stuck. Here is the tractorist and sent me up the combine, pushing the boat into the slides. He gave me a stick of 2 meters, and if, fucking, it fell, at least once stuck, you will scratch the shit!!! And as a preaching, I put a fist at my squeezing nose, which blocked my sight... Well, I stumbled up with a wild cane, and we mocked. Botwa immediately started to get stuck, I infused the sticks 3 times, and it was safely eaten by the combine, snacking everything with the same bottle. And here, in fear of the future, I hadn’t come up with anything better than pushing this green mass with my foot. It was delayed instantly, it was not painful, it was mouthwashed so that the tractorist in the cabin heard it immediately. I was removed for two hours from the sink, there was no pain, an ambulance arrived, the anesthesia was wild, I felt nothing. When removed, placed on the legs, the right leg was placed on the back of the body in the area of the abdomen, the tissue on the stomach and told the left hand to press, or the intestines will fall out. They said that I would stay without a leg, my bones were very broken. The surgeon swallowed, the skin was transplanted where it was missing, the chief traumatologist, grandfather old, said to save the leg, and saved. He himself did the operation to install the apparatus of Ilizarov, he was held by two people under his hands, and he did... This is the story.

I have a friend who lives in the Urals. I am in Moscow. This summer, on a train, transit through the capital, he went to Karelia. I met him at the station. Not to say that he was an avid fisherman, but he caught a whip with him. I hz where he took it and as a carrier - bamboo, a meter under three lengths, not foldable, without a booth, with a huge red homemade float of feathers, such a feeling that since the times of the USSR somewhere in the garage rolled. A little bit of life. He told me that he met the lady on the Internet - there is still a lot of time before the train, so now he will go to her for a date. Well, goodbye, so goodbye - go to the storage chamber to take away. I do not remember the exact amounts, but he was asked twice as much for the negabarit wretch, and he stood up, pulled the money and decided not to give it. How, I say, will you go on a date with her? Nothing terrible though.

Nothing terrible, nothing so.

I called him in a month. As I rested, I say, as with that girl - what happened?

I rested the norm. And with the girl nothing special, we walked through the center for a few hours and that’s all. Without the continuation. Strange is something...

If a man comes from a monkey, then the official comes from a rat.

The Cecha office. One of the officer's aunt's ear was chested deep inside. To eliminate the itching, she pushed a ball pen into the ear canal and started to spin there, but suddenly the pen cap remained somewhere in the depths of the ear. Attempts to extract a piece with a finger are futile - it doesn't even get close. Panic, whispering, screaming, child screaming on the lawn. Aunt all in tears went to the hospital, the other officers sympathize and condolences. And then the deputy head of the equipment shop breaks away from his papers and proposes to push the pen back into the ear and rotate in the opposite direction. The technical solution turned out to be correct - the pen was again assembled together and was pulled out. There was calm in the office.

The artists on the Blue Light are divided into two categories: who is it? Is he still alive?

and Taxi. Yandex gives an order with a comment "transport of animals". I love animals and I feel positive about transportation.

At my address, a woman met me, without any animal or signs of him. I was curious because the price is not much more expensive. The woman explained that we will go for him now, then back to the same address.

At the second address, a drunk man was dumped into the car. As explained by the woman, it is her husband, who went for beer on December 28th, and found him with some strangers on January 9. Hence the commentary.

If God exists, why has he not forbidden the church?

Today in the conversation accidentally remembered and thought that maybe somebody else would be interesting.
Many years ago in the Odessa circus filmed an episode for the film "Granate Bracelet" on Kuprin. I have forgotten the story and the movie, but I remember the filming case.
There, according to the plot, a fan gives the circus girl he fell in love with a flock of lambs. This episode was filmed. The circus was played by the rider Gitana (who seemed to later become Batalov's wife). I took part in a mass meeting – the hall had to be filled with the public. Moreover, I managed to get some camel and an old-fashioned hat in the mud - those who participated in the massacre in their clothes received less, and those who changed clothes - more. The difference was almost 2 rubles - at the time and in my student position the amount is noticeable, so I mention the hat.
So, the rider is jumping on a horse in a maneuver, and at this time the Sprakhstalmeister announces something very important, such as "his nobleness so pleases the rider as a gift" and at this time a herd of lambs (presents) is driven out in a maneuver.
Then the rider did not stop the horse there, then the lambs did not go out as the director wanted, then the audience (mass) did not applaud so much - the episode was shot eight times in a word. Everybody has already stunned. Note that the sound is recorded separately from the image. After rehearsals and many doubts to the Sprakhstalmeister (how could I forget his surname - he was in this hypostasis in the Odessa circus for decades, all the Odessa knew him), so he once again comes out such a whole in a frack, with a manic and a butterfly and a very solid figure and instead of the words on the plot, he routinely announces " _ And you went all to such a mother and that you would go there and here..." It was in a decorated form, and in fact his tirade could envy any bandit.
Well, everyone laughed and forgot - tired yet, especially since the shootings went after the usual performance, i.e. by night.
The movie was very nice, at the time even good. The audience received him very well, he was even rewarded, seemingly something.
A few months after the release on the screens was made a copy with titles and the film was shown in the club of the deaf. The hohote was still in the room - they were reading on their lips!

A politician visited a remote village and asked the people what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the village leader. “First, we have a hospital, but no doctor.”
The politician took a cell phone, spoke for a while, and then said, “I got it done. The doctor will come here tomorrow. What is your second need?”
There is no mobile communication in our village.

Every winter at my grandmother in the village, I was assigned to clean the snow from the garage and stacks.

It was always boring and dark. But one winter (I was 15 years old) I threw such a huge bunch of snow out of the garage. He was adjacent to our house, so at that time I pulled and dropped the overdose of snow from all the areas I reached.

Well, since there is such a bunch, why not ignore the presence of a staircase, and not go down the bunch?

That is how I signed. in valleys of two sizes larger and two tubes on the body.

I went into the snow smoothly and smoothly. It remains to sit there. Trapped intentionally.

As she did not battle, did not stretch, did not get free from the snow captivity.



But this story was not destined to end with a freeze in the style of Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

I felt awkward to see where my grandmother came from.

Laughing, she threw me a pen from the butt that I grabbed. And pulled me until most of the body was freed from the snow. Then I could go on😂

I will no longer jump in the hills.

It was a long time. My colleague and I have been friends for several years. Very close enough.

They communicated and rested together, helping each other when needed. One day she got sick. I took her to a hospital far from her home. Her husband could only visit her on the weekend - he had a small child left, their parents were not near them.

I visited her daily, cooked food that was possible on a diet, the first few days after the operation I sat all day, cared for.

Then we split up in different offices, but we continued to communicate. Soon I had a difficult pregnancy. The first time a friend called me, came to the hospital a couple of times, then disappeared. And it was so bad for me that I didn’t pay attention to it, not before.



And only after the birth, a month and a half later, I suddenly realized that she did not visit me in the nursery, did not congratulate the baby and did not even ask if I was alive at all!

It was in the pre-internet era, cellular communication just appeared. Neither she nor I had a cell phone. You could come in person or by phone. In my maternal situation, I could only be contacted by calling my husband for work. Me with her at all.



I was offended of course. I was very upset before I said, “Well, please! Not very much wanted. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.”



As if that was all. We did not see each other again. I sometimes remembered this story, with such an unpleasant bitter aftertaste.

And only a few years later, through random people, I learned that she had a serious and dangerous illness. She has been treated for a long time. During this time her husband left her. I had to move to the area with my parents. By the time it all came to me, she was no longer there.



Do not rush to judge. Be more tolerant to people. After all, none of us know what we will do when we find ourselves in a strange place. I’ve seen many times that people condemn others with the assurance that they won’t do it! They will be good!

And when life arrives, there are excuses not to be heroic.

All are good.

The First Class and Karma. Once after a fishing in our dressing room, my classmates and I saw school pants, someone left them. I asked them to put them in the pit and the guys agreed. We swept them down, jumped and left them lying there. And when I came home, I saw that I was wearing sports trousers, they were of the same color as the school shirt-dark blue and so in the dressing room I was sure that we would roll someone else. In general, I went down and took my pants out of the lounge, it was very offensive. And after that, he never engaged in such a hernia, and all the rest of the school went for those who were thrown out of the wallets from the windows, painted the crumbs, and did other ugliness. He got a good lesson.

Hi brother.

What happened?

- I want to bring my girlfriend to dinner tomorrow, but I am on the melt : (

No problem, there are friends for that, right? I will bring her to dinner tomorrow.

I lived in a dormitory and met a girl. Here her neighbor came to her boyfriend and her first-time student was settled with her.

We immediately took her into our company and invited her to a common drink. And here, it happened, my girlfriend was going to leave for a while. He approaches me and says:

- Listen, this is a topic, my neighbor flashed on your friend and asks me to hint to him that he likes her. I am ashamed, you can tell him something.

In general, I drink, call my friend and push the next speech.

Do you know Lena?

Well I know.

So she wants you, it all flows...

I do not like her. She’s kind of like herself... In general, a terrible shopper...

It’s scary, but I don’t suggest marrying her. Just touch it and that’s all. Her neighbor has left, the room is free. Everything is in your hands. You understand, here everything is already understood, she herself asked to introduce you, not even to think about it will not give...

Fuck, it’s somewhat fast. On the other hand, the girl is interesting.

He did not touch her then. He called for a walk.

They have two children and an exemplary family.

Every time we meet, she thankes me for helping them get to know closer, and he turns red and turns his eyes away.

A few years ago I was at a school friend’s wedding. A beautiful couple. A beautiful wedding. There were over 60 guests. At one point the host invites me to the center of the hall. He gives the microphone and asks questions:



You know my fiancé for a long time, right?



From the school desk, I answered.



- Do you know the bride for a long time? - Another question from the leader.



and yes. How they met. I think I was one of the first to learn that he had such a wonderful girl, I say.



It is wonderful! You are the one we need! Can you remember what your first friend said about his girlfriend at the time? How did he describe her? – another question from the leader.



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And here I am immersed in memories. The year 2005. and autumn. meet with a friend. I have not seen him for months. Rain and wind on the street – Peter is still. I remembered our conversation with him. I am a friend. d.



I: Let’s go to the bar. The weather is ugly.



D: Wait and wait. Wouldn’t you mind if we had a telecome?



I: Cho for the body?



D: Yes, it’s just the type I’m dating her. She is not very sympathetic, and the breasts are small, but as a herer swallows! I will go for a couple of months and look for a normal one.



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I usually don't stop, but on this issue I normally do so at the wedding)) I had to come up with something quickly, about how a friend said that she was a cute and fun girl)