There are many smart things in the world: smart watches, smart alarms, smart light bulbs, smart locks, a smart home. I am still a bit stupid :(

The internet didn’t work all day. And now everybody will think I have a private life.

The eyes of jealousy

The Moscow City Council spent 6.7 billion rubles on all New Year’s jewelry. This is the annual budget of a large regional center, half a million. For example, the annual budget of Tver is exactly the same 6.7 billion rubles.

The inhabitants of the village of Kukuevo have already excavated the incisions to crack down the eaten Tver

SPB and ST. The metro square. I go to work, I go to the orange branch. I am hit by some guy, somewhere in a minute I notice that the pocket of the jacket has become significantly lighter. I look at this guy and he’s dissolved. In general, the situation is this - the phone by the habit of carrying in the hand, nothing more especially valuable. I recently decided to take lunch with me to save money. The inner pockets of the jacket are very large, so I prepared the strawberries and put it in a small plastic container and wrapped it in a bag for the occasion and all this in the inner pocket. I am standing in the crowd and thinking about what to say to the police. Imagine how they will look at me, they won’t find it anyway. I am late to work. In general, if you, poor thief, suddenly read this - a pleasant appetite creature! Greece is not salt.

I went to the bank to pay for electricity. Two men follow me, one in a younger jacket, the other in a coat, bearded. In front of the window is a grandfather, who overwhelmingly and unlimitedly cuts the cashier with unprinted compliments.
The man in the jacket: “Good, your grandfather, let me pay.”
Grandfather, not looking: "I am a party member, I will do it to the end!"
The man in the jacket: "Where is the ticket?"
The grandfather turns around, sees a bearded man in his coat and answers: “Home, behind the icons.”

Today I heard a simple woman ask our Turkish colleagues if they know... Turkish cools.
Sometimes the hardest thing in my job is not to roast.

It turns out that there is a bird, a two-coloured petalous (Pitohui dichrous), which is one of the few poisonous birds on Earth... Judging by the fact that its second name is a two-coloured mosquito mosquito, the first one was given to her by the unfortunate man who caught her.

Chekhov is like Downey the Younger
Yyy: And Iron Man is essentially a man in a box.

The festivities. We gather with relatives, we sit down, we talk. And I painted my hair before NH, now it is bright red color. And then the conversation goes on about this: say, why did you paint, you had such a beautiful color? While I think to answer, something like: "I wanted to stand out and be bright", my mom gives out: "Yes, she just has a gray".
and ((

RobbinBobbin: In our institute at the 1st grade on the inorganic chemistry control, one girl suggested adding a solution of concentrated water.
TimCbasso: The ability to add a concentrated water solution will be very useful when writing a diploma.

"Viking 12+" goes 2 hours 18 minutes, and "Viking 18+" five minutes longer.
How to respect Prince Vladimir?

A miracle is a well-prepared event.

Someone with a flag without a row for beer was missed, and in Kamchatka "Speed", with a flash, was not missed to the dying!
I immediately say that neither in this nor in another case I see anything funny or even fun, I just remembered one life story.
In 2004 on duty service was in the same car with the SOBR, two bold extortionists were detained. The process of detention is such - the patient is charged with a listening apparatus and under the strict patronage of the operas, he goes to a meeting, where he must transfer money to the raptors. Think of fishing. But in life, not always everything goes according to the scenario of the fisherman, so was it then. The criminals sharply changed the meeting place, suffered, as a rule, the face willless and cowardly, plunged behind them like a lamb to slaughter, contrary to all our scenarios. Consequently, we need to change the dislocation and very sharply. Sobrovsky UAZik disguised as an ambulance, only without a flashlight. We fly into the snowy yard, we meet the autoladies on a minicupper - do not leave, and we take the ass to give away 60 meters of 5 meters. She drove her machete, type, miss it urgently. The girl breeds her hands, the kind of shit, you need to give up. The commander of the SOBRA on the front seat, shows her on the drive and the AKSU (automatic cortoys, "Ksyusha" by SOBROVSKI), said a service necessity, the lady in response raises the middle finger. The situation is fucking, there is somewhere under the knives standing, and here the glamorous cheek is worn out. From the "ambulance" eight SOBROVs run out in black masks, very quickly bypass the machine from all sides, pick up and put in a swarm, a little curved, well, but to pass. And we pass. I remembered the girl's face - "I was offended, you all fuck"

Tolerance was saved, scammers were bound, I never met this girl again, I hope she realized everything right...

Mona approaches her friend Misha and says:
I sleep with the wife of the rabbi. Can you keep him in the synagogue for an hour after the service?
Mischa doesn’t like it, but as a friend of Moni, he agrees. After prayer, he begins to talk to the rebe, asking him a wagon of idiotic questions to hold him back. Eventually, the rabbi gets tired of all this and he asks Misha what he is seeking. Misha, feeling guilty, finally admits:
“My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to hold you.
Rebe smiled, then gently laid his hand on Misha’s shoulder and said:
You better hurry home. My wife died a year ago.

XX: How is it?
YYY : well! But it feels bad.
XX: How is it?
YYY: I am suffering. The pearl is small.

XXX: Smoking the Spice
Is he smoking?
XXX: Yes Yes
YYY: I thought in the bathroom.
XXX: What else can I do with him? is there?
It is salt!
ZZZ: the borst is controlled
xxx: mmm, bore with a spice. Recipes from Grandma

The soul of Volan de Mort was eight-bit: after eight divisions by 2, he received zero and self-liquidated, and the last unit in the form of the remainder of the division was given to Potter.

My tourist work was nothing to throw away - for example, the Estonian group Tallinn-SPb - Finland forgot about our student. On the excursion, they were riding on our pedestrian custom buses, and then moved to their own, arrived at Brusnitsky, and there they got enough that the boy is not there. He had to remove the fox from the kitsch because he was quietly shaking, stuck in the corner of the rear seat and covered with a pledge, in the sixth bus fleet.

We have a boy at work, such a cute premil, right here!This boy meets his aunt quite older than himself and financially a little dependent on her.Alphonse is ordinary, shorter.
So someday with a colleague from the mess there was a conversation,whether dysbiosis is the initial stage of olegophrenia or this is a separate disease.This is our favourite comment:"And with what oligophrenia is here,these are those who live with women";

The trigger:
The fact is that it is not easy to catch a tripease. The specificity of clutching is that any tripease (and the Marlesian more so) must be firmly held by the bucket. It is worth weakening the grip, and the muzzga will splash from the trepiasda coconuts in different directions, spreading the smell of rotting nuggets. By the way, it will become inappropriate, bored and shrinking will lose all its discomfort. Marlesian nurses from ancient times have taught their husky strongly and correctly to hold the buffalo. As the old saying goes - "Tripeazas you shrink - a mommy you shrink".

You are a sofa theorist, have you at least once swallowed a live tripease? Could he be able to catch it, even stronger? The tripeas should be taken gently, under a myrtle. And by the time they come together to catch only meals and meals, so they and tripeas do not live for a long time. This has also proved that if you want to maintain the productivity of your tripeaside for longer, then you need to treat it carefully.