Why are astronauts in Russia and astronauts in America?
WOW: I dare assume that astronauts are flying into space))
Astronauts are in the astral.
That’s how they first came to the moon.

Send the doctor in painting to paint, he will drop you and draw.

When under the wheels, you hit the brake, ABS works, the sound feeling is that the anchor shoots from behind and tries to get stuck for something!

My daughter, what a mess you have. Soon further than to the chair next to this your computer will not go.
I: I don’t need to go any further. From the chair to the bed, I can jump.

Now on RBC
The authorities found a way to re-educate Ukrainians from wages "in envelopes"
In the tape, what was in the cakes, cut off...
Just a real success

There is a work that children in the 5th grade read, "Black Chicken or Underground Residents." So, in class 10, the teacher tells her five-year-old said: "I will not read the Black Chicken, and I will read about the Underground Residents."

From Twitter:
@xxx_xx: I’ve asked once, but I don’t remember what they answered so I’ll ask again: what is customary to do with engagement rings after divorce?

@xxx_xx: For the time being, the variant with Orodruin leads.

*user*:I would like to change my nick "ILoveYouKsu" due to the fact that it has lost relevance.

*support*:Dear K.V. Technical Support Service strongly recommends you find another girl named Ksu, because at the moment we can not meet your request

Apple Service Center: The workshop is separated from the reception stand, which is open door. In the workshop 2a specialists work (pay) and look at some fantasy movie in the background. One speaker, looking into the screen, loudly gives the other: “No% there is a dragon!” and, asking to borrow him solder acid for the solder, not less loudly adds: “Give me more acid!”
The eyes of the customer who repairs the iPad should have been seen.. (real case of SC TeleTime)

Tomorrow I’m going to paint my ass!! to
2 to EM?
1: and, indeed, if you do not know what it is about paintball and nubes, then you get a funny picture...

XHH: I watched this movie yesterday, and I see this picture:
Sitting, therefore, Mother Nature, who has grown out for a couple of centuries, thinks about how to patch a flea on an extra leg.
He thinks, he thinks, suddenly by the edge of his eye he notices something, the whole world is blinking red.
HH: What kind of shit?
Damn, I’ve been distracted for a moment, and people have seen so many things! Millions of years of cold! Even the rees eaten a breakthrough - I also have a promising development, go, you go.
XHH: It cries on people, and the hand to delete stretches...

Cepreu: A guy here yesterday ordered a work computer. 64 GB of Oz. I say: you will be the first to keep porn not far on the screw, but straight in the operation.

I have a wife accountant. She quietly governs the 1s-ovsky config in Fare, crawls for automation in Excel's visual basics or administs the dongles of all kinds of rutokens and hashops.
I feel a bit uncomfortable with her accounting team.
Tell me if there are any courses where they teach the system engineer to call it a "processor", stupidly knock their eyes on the printer's stick, crtl to call it a "stral" and crush the mantra of "I-nothing-not-press-a-one-only".

The @cleg programmer is a professional converter of customer hallucinations into a hard formal system.

We all get older and we only get younger.

The stupid hooker.

The story of the famous "marphine shell" - the specialty where Solzhenitsyn once sat and worked. Anyone who has read “In the circle first” or watched the series of the same name will understand what institution is talking about. And although at the time of the events described below it was no longer a prison and was called “NII of Automation”, the regime of secrecy there was very strict. Nearly every door stood an armed fighter, and for the movement of developments between the buildings there was a network of underground tunnels, so that the spies do not let God look out from space, what they are doing here. The equipment was transported to the test sites in conventional trucks with the inscriptions “bread”, “mail” and so on. In fact, from the inside they were armored, in the body boxes with secret equipment guarded two WOHROVs with calashes, in the cabin another guard in the staff with a machine machine, the driver - a gun. The numbers on them are imperceptible to ordinary people, and the gaiters are warned that cars with such numbers cannot be touched.

Once again, such a special car goes to the field. And on the track something he did not like one postman, he jumped out on the road, voting with a striped rod. The driver gave him zero attention. The instructions do not allow you to stop under any circumstances. Mint this attitude to his person did not, he sat in his car, wrestled a flashlight and, demanding the matyugalnik to stop, rushed into the pursuit. Eventually, he managed to cut down and stop a disobedient truck. I approached the driver’s door, the door opened, from there several bullets flew under the feet of the gait, the door closed. Further, two fighters jump out of the body, twist the hollow mint, push it into the body, the journey continues. The instructions require all perpetrators of such incidents to be arrested and brought for inspection to the first department of the NIH. I had to take him to the field. For a couple of days, while the trials were going, he sat in the body of a truck and ate bread with water and suffered scourges from the guards, who instead of resting in the pit, were obliged to guard him. Technical testing ended and we went back. And for this, the test was just beginning - the security department was already waiting for an interrogation. “Who is this? Why did he do so? Do you work for foreign intelligence? Take a pen, paper, and write an explanation. We will send you a request to the KGB. If everything is clean - you will go out by evening."Gayshnik really turned out to be not a spy, but a simple idiot, by the time he stopped the car with a secret cargo. Only he was not released, citing the fact that according to their regulations, the explanatory note should be written in Russian without grammar and spelling errors, and he has a crap here. The sheet was broken, given a new one, forced to rewrite. So he sat all the next day in the chamber of the first department, rewriting them with a dozen. Then somewhere the loop is missing, then the letter is missed, then the proposition is incorrectly constructed. And the head of the 1st department reads, breaks the sheet, issues a new one. The next day, someone from the highest ranges of the GAI came, promised for his fool, asked to let go. 1 department - no one, "we work according to the instructions, let it write correctly, then we will gladly let go."In fact, they just joked, because it is known that at all times the Ministry of Internal Affairs and GB's were very unlikely to each other. They even brought a school textbook in Russian. Three days later, he managed to get free.
P.S What measures were applied to him in his home department, history silences.

I have no trousers today.
Lucia, enough of that! I’ll find a job soon and buy you everything.

Olgherd: but here is the news from the website of KP Moldova
and olgherd: 1. The number of unemployed in Moldova has declined
Olgherd is 2. Up to 40% of the active population of Moldova has left abroad

YYY: You don’t understand criticism at all.
XXX is I? No to...D!

Transmission is hot.
I downloaded a new cartoon about Batman from torrents, I read the title: Betmen. Vozvraschenie Temnogo rycara chast 1.avi
Here is this. The Dark Knight is back in action :)