bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108065
 12.01.2015
I guess, 75V with a shovel? Their case? And you and your underdog will teach everyone, as it is easy? Yes, these caps with a porridge will sit on anyone normally. The person has written correctly, everything matters. Those who have something to invest in these cups have to take into account the company and the shape and size of the bones, etc. Short, without any examples.
Happy husband from 5.
— — —
You are wrong. Those who don’t have anything to put on are also not sweet. You come to the store - and there is a whole fucking shirt-up, which smells more like a armor jersey and is not sitting on the ice. And you walk, like a muddle, around the shops in search of a normal bucket for a small size without a ton of strawberries, mission impossible rests.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108064
 12.01.2015
From the discussion on the topic "Sweden suspects that the “Russian submarine” has returned to its waters"
Vlad No: What the insider will say, the Swedes attention! The boat is back because it has a nest there!
Feed the extracted uranium output and the whole herd will go hunting in the spring. Strengthen the shores with fresh bricks!
This cannot be said to Swedes. They can believe. Even I am afraid to imagine what will then be... The son of "Dmitry Donsky" and "Warszawianka". Small... Length one and a half meters... In the cloth two hundred icons... All. Slip under the table.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108063
 12.01.2015
The Bayes guys. Ten years ago, Mikhail Zadornov came to him after a speech in Kiev and threatened to ban him from entering Ukraine, which he loves very much. He replied, “The worst thing would be if you forbade me to leave!”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108062
 12.01.2015
xxx: What kind of Gondons translated this movie?!)
yyy: here are the subtitles of the British Film Institute

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108061
 12.01.2015
With such appearance... men probably run?
They run away... mostly from me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108060
 12.01.2015
“This is always so! All the most responsible work on the house has to be done to me," said the husband, breathed and sat down to eat the remains of the New Year's feast on Christmas.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108059
 12.01.2015
After the adoption of the law on the prohibition of persons with sexual abnormalities to drive a car on the roads of Moscow will be surprisingly free.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108058
 12.01.2015
Five tons of pork can easily clean the city from the enemy without destroying buildings or killing anyone.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108057
 12.01.2015
Comments on the work of public houses in Australia:

I mean, I realized that girls are superprofessional! They do everything so that the client who came and paid for... this is the same thing, this is not received... The manager stipulates the conditions, additional extras, etc., and the girl still reduces the case to one "innocent" function, keeping celibacy.
No, don’t be angry, but this is really the impression of the story.

ууу: A wonderful use of the term "collaboration". Dale is crying.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108056
 12.01.2015
Just some official came late to a meeting with a big boss, and on the question 'why was he late?' replied 'because there were too many p***races on the roads.

This, by the way, is not so unbelievable, in our city last summer one senior chief shot down a cyclist-son of another senior chief, after which on the local bike forum began complaints that cyclists all over the city are stopped by gauges and in violation of the rules sent from the road to the sidewalk. For a couple of months it burned, and then it silenced.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108055
 12.01.2015
You are all boring here. Life is beautiful and passes quickly. Do not waste it on nonsense.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108054
 12.01.2015
About the trees –

They are Russian people. They would rather mine the entire Russian forest massive than they would set up normal fences, not to mention the barracks. The dog needs to be fed, but who?? to
----------
For the Russian man it does not matter that he will be robbed again; it is more important for him that the thief will receive the merits the next time.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108053
 12.01.2015
X: The marketing couple asked to come up with fun advertising from the life of the automotive industry. Would you help?
U: anything of the type: Deo has released a new comfortable luxury Deo Matiz version called "Deo GRAND Matiz".)))
z: I see the slogan phrase: now the luggage compartment is 1.5 liters more...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108052
 12.01.2015
You broadened my horizon.
Yyy: No, I just broke my own ))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108051
 12.01.2015
Again, you came to the page of some thief and have been looking at it for half an hour.
M: I didn’t even lick there!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108050
 12.01.2015
The main merit of a Russian man after 40 years is that he is alive!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №108049
 12.01.2015
The Prehistory.
One, very well-known, Russian bank decided to arrange me, apparently, a New Year's surprise and issued me a bill of 4000 rubles for the allegedly issued to me 3 years ago debit card, to which various services were connected, such as SMS notifications and others. For which these 4000 and raced over the past three years. The card was opened as a salary. At the same time, I live in the Volgograd region, and the firm where I allegedly worked was Moscow. Three years later, they finally recalled and started calling me about repaying the debt. Since I did not open any card, I went to the bank’s office in my city and demanded explanations. An employee of the bank made a request to the bank, without issuing it properly, and said that the response will have to wait 7-10 working days. During these 7-10 working days, I was named several times a day, and every time I told the staff the whole story that I did not issue a card, and, in general, I went to the bank office for clarifications, and now you have to wait 7-10 working days. Since it didn’t reassure them, and they still called me, I developed several strategies for myself to communicate with them, which I adhered to all these 8 days.
The history.
- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt recovery department of the bank... My name is... I can hear Valery...
It is me, I listen to you.
Please indicate your date of birth.
Why Why?
To identify you.
I confirmed it was me.
I need to make sure of that.
Do you think someone will talk for me?
I don’t know that you are you.
“Well, I’ll give you my date of birth if you give me the series and number of your passport.
Why Why?
- Well, then I will also know that you are exactly you, a bank employee, and not just a telephone scammer who got information about me from the stolen database.
Running in the phone.

- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt collection department of the bank...My name is...I can hear Valery...
Please repeat your name and surname.
Why Why?
- I will call the pre-trial debt recovery department of your bank and clarify whether you are really their employee?
Running in the phone.

- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt collection department of the bank...My name is...I can hear Valery...
Yes, it is me.
We have called you several times, but you refuse to talk to our staff.
I do not refuse to talk to them. I just explained to your employees that I don’t know what card it was about. So I went to the office of the bank in our city for clarifications. You have to wait 7-10 working days. So far I do not recognize any debts to your bank.
“That is, Valery, you refuse to pay those 4000 rubles?
- Until I get the documents on my own-handed opening of this account with my signature - yes!
These documents will be presented to you, I have no doubt about it.
When they are presented, we will talk.
- So you are a scammer, Valery, once you have used the services of the bank for three years, and now you do not want to pay for them!
“Can we clarify again – is our telephone conversation really recorded, as the respondent told us before we started our conversation?
“Yes, Valery, and you can’t say now that we haven’t warned you about possible consequences. And you will have to be held accountable for your fraudulent actions in all strictness, up to criminal liability.
- Then, I hope you have a court decision to recognize my actions as fraudulent. Otherwise, I will bring you to court for defamation, and as proof I will require a telephone record of this conversation.
Running in the phone.

P.S Eight days later, I received a response from the bank that there was an annoying misunderstanding. The bill was issued incorrectly and has now been cancelled. Accept our sincere apologies.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №108048
 12.01.2015
If your religion orders you to kill people, start with yourself.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108047
 12.01.2015
* I do not know
Here in Antony.
in the sea
I just heard him sing recently.
Waves of coastal waves
So it seemed.

The coastal bell.
When I was a child, what was Vermisel?? to
I don’t think it’s my mind, Vermisel is so Vermisel.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108046
 12.01.2015
XXX: Glory to the Imperfection of Technology
xxx: I went under the shower, and the phone is waterproof, I think: oh, norm, you can not get out of the internet
xxx: Included water, sunrise, climbing by contact, hubra, 4pda, etc.
One drop: when a lot of drops of water falls on the screen, the touchscreen goes crazy and cannot correctly determine the press - you have to get out of the shower and wipe the screen with a towel.
Here is how I stand, again water accumulates on the screen, I raise my head over the curtain and accidentally see the clock.
XXX: It turns out that I have been washing for an hour and twenty minutes.
xxx: By internal sensations, the time has passed 10-15 minutes
xxx: It's scary to imagine what it would be like if the phone responded normally to the overflowing screen and didn't have to go out to wipe it.

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