The Optimist:
The Pessimist:

>>It’s not really bad—it’s when a wife and two mistresses have started critical days at the same time. And all this on your birthday...

You didn’t understand, it was a gift. Imagine if it was the opposite.
— — —

In other words, your wife and two mistresses have a birthday, and you have a monthly?

From the news:
Ulyukaev called the "Rotenberg Law" budget insurance of foreign assets
“In fact, we are encouraging capital exports from the country in various forms, which is probably not an economic policy task.”

Intelligently I said that you, fools, have already flogged.

I talked to a friend on a laptop via Skype. At this time, the second friend calls on the mobile phone, I turn on the loud communication, and we are already communicating three. Then I went out to the lodge to smoke. Back, the picture with oil: a laptop with a phone is actively discussing something. Tell me, is that not nonsense?! to

RIA Novosti: "In Crimea recorded the first case of human bite by karaoke since the moment of joining the Russian Federation".

Guess who? Yes, I’m the same guy with dollars.

I will answer:
Where are you, girls who suffer from... lack of communication? As soon as they offered to mark themselves - tape to tie, so everyone immediately silenced. No words, no girls with stripes.

It is not safe for girls to walk with such tape, you know. And without tape, you will not always explain to the male subject that it is with him that you love and do not want to. Better learn to see in women people, be interested in their personality and hobbies, not just what they have between their legs, be easy to communicate, respect personal space - and your chances of sex will increase incredibly.

They were guided by city lights with timer. LEDs were obviously the cheapest used - in a month, half of the segments burned up. counting as predators. So you want to jump through them faster, or the feeling that it is going to explode.

What are you missing? In the baseball?
by Asma
How low it is.

Purchase of zoos.

Description of goods.
KARLIE DECO WOOD 1 kg (78520)

The attention!
The look is absolutely unpredictable! It is natural jewelry.
Claims about the appearance of the cork are not accepted!

xxx: эх, never liked running.Here gymnastics - it's please, but run...
Any idiot can do gymnastics, but this is a run.
Q: Can you make a wheel on a barrel?
I can make a wheel from a barrel.
I am about gymnastics ;D
I am a gymnast :D

My wife's yoga instructor advised the balls to roll: " from the nerves" - o_o she now constantly touches my eggs( type catches, says helps )))
P.S Hopefully the expander won’t recommend it.)

Vitaly Milonov called the homosexual revelation of actor Gerard Depardieu repentance. A Deputy of the State Council of St. Petersburg told the Russian News Service that the French actor, who admitted to ties with men, specifically moved to Russia to say goodbye to his vicious past forever.

“I think that the spiritual wind of Mordovia will heal in him this defect. He came from France, a dissolved country. But now, breathing the harsh spiritual wind of Mordovia, he purifies himself, he wants to kill this wickedness within himself. He publicly pulled out this devil and slaughtered him in the circle of Russian morality,” the parliamentarian said.

Let me remind you: we took an Eastern European Shepherd puppy.
They are born black and then they become grey.
There was a separate lecture about this, which most have safely forgotten.
The elderly rages the boys:
I’m tired of screaming about you! My mother is tired! You even brought the dog!
A dog for what?! to
A poor animal has been killed because of you.

Discussion of parental committees and committees
- NO, I have a very accused RK - maybe because my husband in September (there are already five children in a row) explains to his parents how the tenders go, and how many babies are washed. Well, and the question arises: we must rebuild the ceiling, the one who made it, or the one who, according to the decree from above, signed the act with defects. If there is a noise - it fades, turns red and slips... In the end, if we collect money, then for children: gifts for holidays, trips, notebook reserves, water for the refrigerator. Well, so – 1000 – 1500 per year. The oldest last year's graduation and last call + coffee cost 5,000 in total. But in music, we have people with strange things. In the middle son, for example, this year, an accordeonist asked for 200 rubles for alcohol wipes for wiping tools.

here here :

In the United States invented the "carton-free", and in Russia - the "carton in the uniform". The mentality.
— — —

Potatoes in uniforms were invented in Italy, and fried potatoes in France. In general, it is correct, yes...

I remember studenthood: My ancestors went to live in the cottage all summer and the apartment was at my disposal. My current wife (at the time) is just a sweetheart. We were just friends and no more kisses came in. As a result, after talking about the fact that the boys only need one of the girls, we bet that under no circumstances would I touch her in this regard for a month, no matter how she provoked.
Since then, she has moved from the rented apartment to me. First she slept with me in the bed in a pyjama, then in a semi-transparent nightmare, the next level for me was when she went to bed in a pants, and then completely naked. As a result, when two days remained until the end of the dispute, she began to fall asleep, throwing one leg on me and sticking with her lips in my neck.

Men, I couldn’t sleep for exactly a month, but I won that fight for us all.

One man, a servant of worship, had a dog, a good dog, lived with him for 15 years and he loved her. But then, after a series of unforeseen circumstances, a piece of meat fell into her legs and teeth, which entailed the fact of slaughter, considered, however, as an act of prosecution with the execution of a sentence.

Then the religious figure without performing the Orthodox Christian ritual handed over the broken body to the earth, set up a tomb monument, and as an epitaphia decided to recreate the course of events, forgetting to provide for an emergency exit from the recursion.

Comments to the news about the decline in laptops sales due to the new iPhone6:

The xxx:
"Because of the new iPhones there is a rising price of gasoline"
"Because of the new iPhones this year will be winter"
"Because of the new iPhone black organ sales market is overcrowded"...

YYYY :
In one of your headlines at least there is common sense.

On mobile phones in general and Nokia in particular.

I was washed in jeans after the piano. I called her in the laundry. She shone and turned. I almost died of laughter, though it was my only tyliphon. Then, indeed, almost killed the debilloid, which before drying the battery re-inserted. And still, the infection, worked for six months, though, without sound.

I often have the feeling that the phone is ringing. And in a few seconds he really calls. What is this? The phone can be on the table or in the pocket. It could be written to coincidence, but it happens too often.
- Powerful radiation before calling :) Just wear a foil cap so that you don't feel this radiation.
Start worrying when you’re guessing a caller or receiving a text message before you pick up the phone. and :)
What to do if it is?
Start sending SMS without a phone :)
By the way, it often happens. You go and think, “I need to call my mom.” And here’s my mom calling ?
- Pff, this is a normal phenomenon for a portion of calls and SMS. When the phone came late in the evening, my mother called me. If the SMS on the day of the salary in turn all sitting in the office - the bank writes. If the SMS has two administrators at the same time - something fell and the SMS from monitoring. If a series of SMS from one of the administrators – generally #$@%#@$

The 8-year-old son is studying in the Cossack Corps. From this quarter to them in the squad came the only girl. Now the teacher begins the lessons with the words "Boys and girls!", which naturally causes the friendly whistling of the whistle.