bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103784
 08.10.2014
Oh women!
We smoke near the house. Children play on the playground. Suddenly I hear a wild cry. Picture: Near the sandbox stands a girl (D), aged 4 – 5. Nearby to M.
M: Olya what happened?
D: Aaaah... I don’t know...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103783
 08.10.2014
The affairs in Kharkov. I admit, at first I was slightly reluctant to go, but everything is quiet. There are no shootings, they all speak Russian, only in one cafeteria they spoke Ukrainian, but you can understand (they eat deliciously), where I came from. So what I said, they placed Lenin’s cross on the statue!1 is real. The wood! The big!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103782
 08.10.2014
111: Thinking about buying a laptop, tell me what to take? Have you recently bought yourself?
222: You have a note, you have a new note.
My laptop is so old that it has a disk connector.
222 for what? for the CD? DAK is everywhere.
111:...
Thanks, I’d better ask someone else.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103781
 07.10.2014
Announcement to the movie "Dress and no sex?"
Twenty-year-old Wallace and Shantry met at a party and a spark immediately ran between them. Young people begin to communicate and discover that they are soul-mates who have a lot in common. They correspond daily via email and text messages and regularly go to dinner together. In general, everything goes well and here suddenly one small detail becomes clear: she already has a boyfriend..."

This is the turn!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103780
 07.10.2014
was sick. I sit down and think about how it made me feel. Next to a friend and husband.
Girlfriend: After the bathroom you walked barefoot - the tea was not a mother-earth (thought and added) but a concrete batch.
Husband (left from the comp and inserted): And linoleum-passion

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103779
 07.10.2014
We have a new cleaner. As a result, a new air refresher in the toilet. With the smell of chlorine... to tears...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103778
 07.10.2014
A friend of mine demolished the house and gave her an old piano. Just two seniors went to the music hall, and we were looking for it. Did you know that there are different prices for different brands of piano? The Soviet is cheaper (made of figs), the old ones are almost twice as expensive (the natural tree you will pick up).
In general, the brother with friends from the boyship, they had fun for us, with beer and mat brought the tool to the third floor. True, the linoleum was broken and in two places the instrument was struck, but for the little things.
Then they caught the children and said to them:
“And if you, children, don’t play this... hard thing... we’ll come back to you... we’ll knock your ears! and ;-)
What I can say... The elderly has already received a diploma... with such an attitude...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103777
 07.10.2014
here here :

I remembered the women’s hobbies.
Married, soon became pregnant, pregnancy was hard with toxicosis and hospitals, gave birth to a twin, children about six months, I have one dream to sleep in silence, because if at home someone is heart disease and sits with children, sending me to sleep, then I still can't sleep, listen to every whisper.
And here my faithful decides to make me have fun - he calls to the movie. I understand only one thing, that once the lights are turned off, I will cut myself off, and so I refuse.
What he insulted:
I thought you were an educated and interesting girl, and you have no interests in life.
of fasepalme.

A loving adult husband would order the children to be gathered, put them in a wheelchair and walk out in the evening for 2 hours, giving his wife to sleep, because he knows that a grateful resting wife will provide him with all sorts of bonuses at the very "I don't want." In your family there are three children.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103776
 07.10.2014
xxx: We often complain about the poor political component of AI in strategic games.

And at the same time we ignore the fact that in most such games between me and zzz there is only one kind of diplomacy, which is best characterized by the quote from Babylon 5:
Why do you hate each other so much?
They are green!
They are purple!! to
" ©

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103775
 07.10.2014
by 19:00. Coming from work.
19 to 10. I sat down at the computer, wrote a few comments, watched the video on YouTube.
by 19:20 Understood that there is nothing at home, fed the cat went to the clerk for food.
by 19:40 I went home, ate, drank a couple of beers, quarreled with someone on the Internet, gave a cat a vitamin.
by 20:50. I know it’s boring and I have to do something about it.
by 20:52. I called a friend and asked for a walk with the dog.
by 21:15 I went out of the entrance with the dog, smoked, well on the street.
by 21:25. The dog in the bush found a bomb.
by 21:28. He smoked a cigarette, he was a Uzbek who came from Uzbekistan yesterday.
by 21:31. Smaller Uzbek bombs.
by 21:35. He clung to the wire stretched in the courtyard with the aim that no one would park the car in the courtyard.
by 21:38. All dirty and bloody mocking the mat, in the darkness I look for a phone that fell out of my pocket.
by 22:00. He fed the cat again, pouring the green on the floor.
by 22:05. The cat entered the green. What funny traces of cat’s legs on the floor.
by 22:07. Damn, but not on the pillow!! to
by 00:08. The cat is sleeping, all in the green. It was a good evening ;)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103774
 07.10.2014
It was written by the daughter’s words.

My daughter in 2nd grade. A lesson about the world. The theme of the lesson is forests. Teacher: "Children, never go into the forest alone, and if you go, don't look into garbage bags and garbage bags."

You will not guess why.

"There may be fragmented parts of the bodies of victims of maniacs" :crazy: %)

Here you and a good walk in the forest and a lesson of the surrounding world for 8-year-olds.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103773
 07.10.2014
The jacket is the most important human organ, because the spine and the rest of the winding equipment are attached to it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103772
 07.10.2014
Is it real, or is it over the function "with this product often bought"...

In short, the screenshot:

The Honda CBR600RR

Related Products :

The Marble Monument

- Wedding "From Friends"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103771
 07.10.2014
On the box from the console toilet a picture symbolizing that it can withstand a weight of 400 kg. The first thing I thought of when I saw her: "Yah laaaadno..."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103770
 07.10.2014
The cat bites the tail.
He was so offended.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103769
 07.10.2014
My grandmother is burning. We come from Dacia. The door into my room was carefully broken. I ask: What had to be?
I have no right to sleep on your couch. How you are not ashamed!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103768
 07.10.2014
[12:37:54] Sofi J: Throw here the case study in our office – the smell of burnt wire throughout the office, the girl in the neighboring building on the lower floors also complains that there is nothing to breathe, the head hurts and all that. They said at the reception, everyone looked like, smelled, found out - the builders at the neighboring building of the lamb roasted :D

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103767
 07.10.2014
Winter screams: vodka... it’s cold! Spring requires champagne. Beer is cold! And only autumn will come quietly, putting his hand on his shoulder and stealingly say, "Well, what about the cognac?"

XXX: Unfortunately, usually everything happens differently... And only autumn will come quietly, putting his hand on his shoulder and stealingly say: Noxspray, fervex and aspirin.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103766
 07.10.2014
Friends came to visit yesterday, remembered...
I am waiting for the third, all of this in pregnancy and health - lying down, but allowed to lie at home.
My friends came to visit me.
Nadia cuts the salad to the table and fries the meat.
Xusha extracts the knots that I didn’t have time before introducing the laying position.
I sit on the sofa in the middle of the room.
And not from this nor from this I say: "And I am giving birth to the father of the king again in the days of the king."

A minute of silence.

Then: "Now we understand why the one you quoted was thrown into a barrel and thrown into the sea".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103765
 07.10.2014
We use free testing. The code is complex, and often works on the principle: “Buyed bread – the balcony door stopped opening on tuesdays”.

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