The smokers
I read and read - the asthmatics, the children, the smoking asthmatics, the smoking children-asthmatics...
Comrades smokers, you understand: cigarette smoke smells! Clothes after cigarette smoke smell. 2 minutes in the car with a smoker - and already the clothes smell this smelly smoke.

Imagine a person driving with you in the same car and once every half an hour for two minutes in a row forgive for the expression of perdit. The non-smoking person feels close to the smoker too.

You can get used to it with the years, and you can smell shit. Why should anyone get used to it? Unlike smoking in public places, it is not forbidden.

In the future... when everyone will have cyber implants... with unprotected sex...

You can use the Amigo browser.

And do the collectors of our good cartoons think that neither the soldiers of the Air Force nor the conquerors of the Space watched in childhood, nor Cheburaska. Neither "Prostoquashino", nor "The Cat named Hav", nor even, mostly, "Twelve Months". "Kastanki" and "Snowdog", but the Generation of Reconstruction is just on all of the above and grew up?))

In the new office, they decided with whom to place a young unmarried girl in the same office. That with the unmarried guy can not, decided immediately: in the decree will quickly leave. With a married, but childless, too, it is not necessary: suddenly the wife will leave, and again the decree cannot be avoided. Almost decided to settle with a father with many children, the observations that in terms of contraception the previous option is safer, also changed. As a result, he was jailed with the boss: he is deeply interested in making the girl work as long as possible, and in general, if suddenly, he will be ashamed of his grandchildren.

And here, I look at this stuff and think about telling them or not that normal people have sex not only at work?

Smokers... Non-smokers... That’s not all about it. You just have to shoot the self-loved aggressive fools, and the rest will agree with each other. They will not disturb the peace and comfort of each other.

Error in the date on the site of Roshydromet:

- For the money earned from the sale of accurate weather forecasts, Hydrometeocenter has acquired a time machine and today publishes news from the future.
What is amazing here? This is normal. For example, we are selling tomorrow’s sausage.
I bought a cream six months ago in Siberia, which in 3 days was to be released in St. Petersburg!

Why not teleport your luggage? The technology for this exists. In Sheremetyevo, a black suitcase was disassembled into molecules, in Simferopol, a red backpack was assembled from the same atoms. Well, there is the first time the patchwork, of course, will be, who from the seventh iPhone will collect Samsung, who from Adidas Abibas, who from the sausage of strawberries. That’s the cost of production, I think. We have practiced such prestigious services at the mail for a long time, and everyone is pleased. I read here while waiting for a taxi that one guy sent bricks three times instead of a tablet. He had already thought about whether to build a house for him — he thought positively.

"I don’t drink at all, I have a wife and so beautiful..."

From correspondence in chat diggers
XXX: But...there is happiness to hide a crop bush. He wanted to squeeze at night, all excited offended and drowned.

XXX is
I saw a running line in a trolleybus today.
YYYY
So-so
XXX is
Are neighbors annoying? It is..."
YYYY
The killer!
YYYY
Oh yeah? ))
XXX is
"the killer" - servicefully supplemented the imagination
XXX is
You know (
YYYY
It is ?
YYYY
I didn’t know you for a year ;)

A Taiwanese woman went out on the road during a stormy typhoon to check how bad the weather was on the street.

She barely hit under the "passing" refrigerator, which was carried by the wind. The woman managed to escape the blow, after which she rushed after him in pursuit.

Go back to! I will forgive everything!

This is a classic:
The test has arrived. It was late in the evening, his wife had been sleeping. Well, we sat down with him, we talked about it. - Well, you don't have vodka, right? There is no vodka, there is alcohol. I got out of the kitchen box a five-liter canister - Figase - rounded the tear's eyes. And when I explained that it was fuel for alcohol to make coffee (we have an electric stove in the new apartment - there is no coffee on it), he almost struck me.

" to be broken to break. The polystyrene? and polystyrene. The Dare? and Dare. I am you!..."

I am standing at the station, trying to buy a ticket for the electric car on the map in the terminal. The bombardment approaches and asks for a little bit, which I answer: - Sorry no little, the card is one. Bohm resvo shows me where and how to push to pay with a card, which helped me a lot. I say, "Thank you man, but I didn't have this little thing) He smiles - the faster you remove, the faster I'll have a new client.

The Pension

We need to invest in children.
A well-educated, promising education and a healthy child will ensure your old age with any state and pension reforms. There is little hope for foreign pension funds.

and humor:
Do I go home and buy something?
Buy an apartment and live separately.

Everything is about pensions. I add.
Those who call for retirement do not lie. They just don’t agree that this will be their retirement.

The cat riding on the tea tree to sit and warm up, horror!!! I hide the tea from the cat in the shelf with the doors, I know this idiotism but otherwise not how. The cat is bad and the tea is good. I would have known that I’t buy it. Prior to the purchase of the watermelon, the cat did not climb on the table at all, and now there was a problem. Sitting and sitting on his ass heats, the cat on the table is not hygienic, and heading on the cupboard is already quite a pipe. So remember, there is a big problem.

Ohhhh, I’ve been out today.
I don’t have anything on Instagram, but now there are two followers.
Q: Colonel FSB and his trainee?)))
Tag: to go
But they are well disguised.
Not to sink. They were signed to you before you started Instagram))))

The woman, who constantly does nothing in the domestic matter, is considered inappropriate, the husband, who does nothing in the same way, - just bad, although transient (to husbands the criteria of utility are underestimated compared to wives, but husbands still don't like uselessness), the child's criteria of utility gradually increase and, although initially soft, but gradually exceed even those that the husband has. And only a cat can not bring any practical benefit at all, and at the same time give the owner the maximum of warmth and happiness.

I realized that our wives are like advanced versions of a cat. They are sleeping, eating, and constantly turning around, demanding affection and warmth. The only difference from cats is that they sometimes cook food and sometimes clean the house. But I think that during this time we are together, I would have already taught the cat to cook and clean the house.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
The cat will teach you to cook and clean the house.

As a child, I was taken to school with an in-depth study of English. Both the language and the teacher on this subject I did not immediately like, which was said by me in the first class to my mother. The woman is smart, so she didn't argue, and recorded all the children's English songs that she managed to find on my audio cassettes.
I really liked one song! But unfortunately, I didn’t understand anything about her, and my mother’s knowledge also lacked. Then I took the cassette to school and asked the teacher to explain at least briefly what this song was about. With an unhappy face, she listened for a moment, then turned off: “This is an adult uninteresting song, almost meaningless. of a polymer dragon. It would be better to prepare for the lessons than to listen to all the nonsense.”
I did not know such words. It is polymeric. The song was forgotten, the love of the language restored.
I recently remembered this case and decided to find out what a polymer dragon was. and...
Puff, the magic dragon is an English children's song. It is a pity that because of such teachers many good initiatives are destroyed at the root.