bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104764
 29.10.2014
From the comments to the news on the hubr:
255 terabits per second. New record of data transmission speed on one fiber.

Download the internet for free without SMS

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104763
 29.10.2014
to this:
--------
TTS: Saturday, weekend, the sun barely breaks through the curtains
TTS: on the window flower by the name Phytoelement
There are huge glasses next to the flower! Oh, and they are shooting at me!! to
TTS: I asked so much, my buttocks were so compressed that I thought the mattress would bite.
TTS: It turns out, SOVA is sitting on the window on the side of the street.
--------
She brought me a letter from Hogwarts.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104762
 29.10.2014
When he wants sex, he runs to shoot the girl to the nearest club. Another thing is married. Waited until his wife fell asleep, and watched porn quietly, only quietly.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104761
 29.10.2014
I go home one evening, suddenly a body grows in front of me and, swirling, looks into my face. "That’s all I think. Now the drunk will start. Heavily fragile lady alone in the metropolis at night". The body, meanwhile, continues to look at me, I already think of running, as he suddenly says:
And Anton?! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104760
 29.10.2014
Accused of receiving large bribery, the official Gorban daily, closing in his office, used drugs. According to the official, after the use of cocaine in his head came brilliant decisions. As in the UMVD, Gorban after taking the dose was usually in a good mood, what his subordinates - he signed them almost any documents.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104759
 29.10.2014
Thespinningone: When I left the market today, I wanted fish. I had 200 rubles in my wallet. The seller said that he would not cut the fish anymore today, but there was a small piece on the shelf — and she offered me to hang it. It turned out to be 540 grams (I warned her in advance that I did not have enough money) - for 240 rubles. She says, OK, take a piece, bring the other 40 tomorrow.
I came home, started weighing this fish (to accurately calculate the proportions for the recipe) - it turned out to be 470 grams (the fish was not frozen, so it could not lose weight).
On the one hand, the importance is not so big. On the other hand, it’s still very unpleasant: I was hanged, and I still have to.
Take 40 rubles or go fighting?

gallon: 240 rubles / 540 g = 444.44(4) p / kg.
444.44 p/kg * 0.47 kg = 208.88(8) p.
So give 8 rubles 89 kopecks and ring.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104758
 29.10.2014
here here :
Where can I get a salary of 40,000 rubles without education?
in Belarus

In Russia and without higher education there are many places where you can earn so much, and it is quite easy. Without a higher education diploma, it is much harder.
Believe me, these are very different things.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104757
 29.10.2014
We sometimes arrange crafts at home - I give them stick plates, hammer, nails.
Today, the daughter (8 years old) made a pencil, the son (6 years old) - a large cross for the cross, and the other daughter (4 years old) - a rifle.
It is impossible to describe the character of these people more accurately.

So that yes. Who will tank?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104756
 29.10.2014
How beautiful and amazing is the life of a sclerotic - once every half a year I try to get in the closet, find a half-piece, rejoice, unfold it, remembering that it has its edges cut off, twisted and put back.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104755
 29.10.2014
Today the carrier entered the manager’s stupor with the phrase "You have two eyes, and I have one".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104754
 29.10.2014
Sild: fucking, the survey "who are you most afraid of", the purpose of which was to decide on the halloween costume, showed that I should wear a hole condom=(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104753
 29.10.2014
Why are the eyes red? was sick?
And connectivity...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104752
 29.10.2014
(I was asked to break the first tooth-eight)

Sergey: So how are you?
And they didn’t break them out! He went in vain
Andrei: inspected, cut the gums, said that there is a strong inflammation, and you can not crack, otherwise the pus will pass onto the wound and into the epidermis. They said to rinse a bunch once a day, and on Saturday they will break out.
Andrei: I persuaded her, she is a nifiga, she says, you don’t want flux and blood contamination.
Sergey: herrrrrrrrrrrrasse
Andrei is out. I now imagine what the virgin is experiencing when the guy doesn’t get up, and he says, “Let’s try again on Saturday.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104751
 29.10.2014
Conversation of two PC repair masters on the call:
Give me a satellite.
How much Satan?
Totally satirical!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104750
 29.10.2014
Read the article "1001 ideas what to do at home"
Chapter 9: Go to the Park
Chapter 14: Playing Bowling
Chapter 27: Go for a walk.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104749
 29.10.2014
How to Learn Java in a Year

Every time someone writes such an article, there are a little more people in the world who are confident that in a year they will have a lot of prostitutes and cocaine, but have little understanding of how cycles and conditional expressions work. andquot;

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104748
 29.10.2014
Second grade students and their knowledge.
I was walking somewhere with my daughters on the pitch. The oldest climbs the stairs on the hill, the smallest climbs around. The neighbor’s boy was interested in our dialogue.
Q: How old is she?
I: three years ago.
What about this (the younger indicator)?
I am 10 months.
M: How many years? year?
No, she has no year. Ten months. 12 months in the year. Do you know the months?
Yes, winter and spring.
By the way, later it turned out that this child was quite successful in finishing the first class.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104747
 29.10.2014
About "Coursework"
Jokes joke, and in Ryazan and really there is a store called "Tyremok". It is located near the local seashore.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104746
 29.10.2014
Russian currency does not help the announcement of long-awaited auctions of currency, nor the tax period. The ruble is still cheaper.

Q3: Can a cross walk take place?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №104745
 29.10.2014
I have three hundred pieces a month and I am deeply unhappy. And how can you, when you’re 25, be happy with life? Note that the “common people” are all the time attributed to mythical envy for the “work-loving and rich.” What does it come from? Yes, from the fact that some representatives of the middle class, especially in Moscow, having very good incomes, painfully envy their own employers... This is impossible: I didn’t have time to buy the fifth iPhone, and the sixth came out. How do you get the fifth person? Did you do things badly? Did you go anywhere in the summer? Did you go to Turkey and not to Nice? Something is wrong with you. You have been in the car for three years. A woman without a car. You are damaging.

Of course, it is a very tired life. When to the workshop of Peter Fomenko you need to go not because you like it, but because it is the workshop of Peter Fomenko. At the same time, it must, of course, cover a feeling of total unfreedom. Hence, these people and the screams about power are endless: they have absolutely no problems, and here you are turning, like a protein in a wheel, and you still do not have time... And one thing is happy - in the country tens of millions live worse than you. They must be jealous of you and they spit on you. How can you not cry out, “What are you doing, you poor butterflies?”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna