A letter to the IT department from "very experienced" user:

The printer on the 4th floor printed invisibly!

Today, when buying a printer, the seller burned.
First the print will be dirty, then you will get used to it.

We pass by the children's clinic, we see a banner on the wall: "If you love animals, don't eat them, and if you eat, don't say what you love. "My girl comments: "If you love beer, don't drink it, and if you drink, don't say you love it. ")))
Cotte, Odmin, Schredder, o_o
*** by
You drink. Now I have seen everything.

You are raising children, and why?
Wife: When they grow up, let them leave us alone!

I bought the PS3 yesterday. Bringing home, I praise you. My grandmother, 75 years old, is wondering what this thing is. I said it was Dennis =)
began to connect. My grandmother touches me so much and says "The TV will not sit down? You’re going to break again!"

About the ios:
I have a 6.1.3 brake on the iPhone 4. :-) Who has spread the legends that the iPhones do not brake?
You just didn’t turn on the antenna, and you didn’t pull out the second SIMC.)

Miyagi: No details
No protective layer.
Destroy everything by spring.
Hockey: The Sad Hockey Day

Why am I saddened by the Soviet Union? Because, according to the mentions of contemporary authors, there, most people had “honest, openly courageous faces.” When was the last time you saw a similar face on the street, in the subway, in the store, at work?

Working awake

Q: Well, did you get rid of the thing that prevented you from working with the domain?
Yuri is still alive.

IRR: I want to read the book.
50 Shades of Grey
HamsterLord: Is it about Photoshop?

___
In accounting, no less than a ruble, when administrators in 100 rubles can not allocate VAT!
___
Even with VAT you are putting a wrong task. 100 rubles is 100 rubles, there is no VAT. I am like an admin if I get a salary, then in 100 rubles of my salary will be 0 VAT. If this is the amount that must be taxed VAT, it will be +18%, i.e. by 18 rub. If this is the amount paid with VAT, then the VAT paid from there will be 100-100 / 1.18 = 15.25.
The matter is only that the admin does not have to know anything about VAT on work. His relationship with finance is limited to his salary. But the accountant should know the basics of working with the PC and generally have at least a little common sense, and not get stuck at work.

Now there is a Google disease – the brain refuses to remember and asks to google. Officially regulated by the US Ministry of Health.

Marat
Let us send...
by 15:06
Yulia
Let’s eat a snack and walk on the roofs of Stockholm?

We go from the Crimea, in the Kherson region we overtake a truck with pigs, well, it is clear where... And the wife is so thoughtful - and pigs are happy, they think they are taken to the water park.

I have the habit of going home naked. My girlfriend doesn’t mind unless I approach the window to close it or open it. He starts shouting "Why are you shouting out the window?". Specifically she screamed. Over time, the bulge of claims fell asleep and "pushing a hook into a window" became a local stable expression with the value of "open/closing a window". Now at work the batteries have already been turned on, but outdoors are quite warm and the room is a little hot. Then shock my colleagues when I said “I’m probably shaking through the window” and, without waiting for an answer, went to the window. There seemed to be all theirs, but such a turn they obviously did not expect. You can imagine how I am going from the second floor of their office by the window. I have not even explained anything to them.

I explain to my boss far from the Internet and modern technologies, how to register an e-mail:
I: -Look, before the password you need to choose a login, which is easy to remember yourself, preferably easy to read and bright, because. It will be the address of your mailbox. Reduce your FIO, surname, nick. So let’s try any word you like.
Can I take a clown? – What is a clown? I can?
Well you can, generally people choose nics according to their positioning - without thinking about the meaning I burned out.
N : What?? to

Further relationships in production did not work.

The xxx:
If houses and buildings were built by the creators of Angry Birds, they would not fall, even if two-thirds of the bearing structures were destroyed.

Light: Imagine you’re giving a gas-builder, brick, cement, shiffer, a project and saying you need to build a garage. The guests do not understand you, but they see that they are given material, which means that you need to build. Garages they did not see when they were born, but they know how to build toilets. When you need to build, they build a toilet.
The same is true of IE in the form of JS and CSS... >_<

From corporate chat:
The customer is outraged, we promised to deliver the project a month ago, and there was no horse. What will I write to them?
WOW: Write the truth that we have two more projects, and we have put a big screw on them.
zzz: This is how you can write on all three projects.

The scholarships increased by 140 rubles.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Eat the shrimp!