At the age of 18, my parents gave me a new phone. Then it turned out that I had to give him a loan for a whole year:

I hardly tell this story to anyone. When I was a little girl, it was a shame, because when I was doing these things, I always cried (I thought crying was inferior to my dignity). Very few people will believe it.)

I was six years old. The parents went to the hospital early in the morning to stand in line. My sister and I woke up and found out that they had not yet come. I don’t know what happened to me then, but I became very worried about them, suddenly something happened to them in their turn! Although "what" was not invented, I decided to go find them and bring them home. How far and where the hospital I did not know, so I pulled out the bags and started filling them with things and food, suddenly I would look for a few days. Further, the plan was this: since we did not have the keys from the apartment, and it was to be closed, so it was decided to go out the window of the third floor. We bound as much as we could all the blankets and blankets, attached one edge to the battery, and threw the other in the window. I had to go down first, and my sister to drop the bags, the cat, and then myself. I had to look after them, so they had to go with me.

The memory of the descent is strange, as if I just go down every day. It was not scary. When the rope was over, I just let it go. I was caught by a guy before I touched the ground. I want to thank him for saving my life! Even if he never read this.

Then there was a dialogue about what I was looking for parents. The guy asked if there were relatives nearby or acquaintances. My grandmother lived in the neighboring entrance. He said I should go to her and tell her everything. I ran to my grandmother. Since she did not get to the phone, she only knocked on the closed door of the common corridor until the parents came. They didn’t insult me, and I didn’t explain anything to them for some reason, only cried =))

And on the account of my sister, she says that our node almost disconnected when I went down, so I didn’t go down myself and decided to wait for my parents. He is smarter than me =D

It was 5 years ago, I studied in college and during the autumn-winter came the practice, I at that point already from the summer began to work in the bar (study for a cook) and put money to buy a new PC, decided to collect myself, replace my old penny with a new powerful game machine, it needed about 70 thousand. Since the summer I was left with 20 thousand and during the autumn-winter practice it was decided to put most of the money off for purchase. The NH passed, the birthday was on my nose, at the time 60 thousand were accumulated, the prices for the necessary components fell and I needed about 4-5k, which could be obtained for others from friends and relatives. After Dr. went to a familiar store with an alien, left an order for the missing details, left the room and began to wait. After 5 days I am called back and offered to pick up my order, I am happy to run to my ass, which was stored in the closet with clothes and I can't find it. In panic, I start calling my mom, on the eve she decided to get in the closet and I learn that she took the money to invest in the hip (financial pyramid, then were very common) and here in a week she will give me 2 times more and still she will stay. Naturally, neither in a week nor in a month I saw money and when asked if I would be paid back my personal money, I heard the standard "And who has dressed / fed / raised you all your life." Unfortunate so far.

From the Employer's Letter:
We need to conclude a contract.

to this
What should I do with my seven-year-old brother to watch, so that my father will not leave me afterwards?

Seymour Moon is!

One in the field is not a warrior. Did he get stuck in the field alone? Where is the enemy?
One in the field is not a warrior, but a scout.

On a pair of physics, a teacher tries to explain what an avogadro number is:
Imagine a blanket. There is a mol. And here she ate 6.02x10^23 atoms of blanket. Molly eats Molly.

In one hospital in the chamber with me was a broken train driver. He pleased to tell what happened to him. The case was this: one fat woman decided to commit suicide and jump from the bridge under the train. But I didn’t count the moment and rolled my back into the front glass of the locomotive. My grandmother was also alive. In the words of the victim:

- I lead the train quietly, and here a huge JOPA rushes right into my head! ! to ! to

Everyone had an unforgettable story in the garden. For example, I (in addition to eating the land) decided to escape to sleep an hour - the house was nearby, I didn't like to sleep.

I thought about a plan: everyone falls asleep, the teacher leaves, I dress up and fall through the black course.



The plan was just ideal. I went out. Arrived at the fence. I started crossing through the fence – this is the smell of freedom. But I retreated. He stood down twice and hanged his hood. to four. Hanging all day. Mom comes to the garden - I was lost there, and I am on the fence. At home, I was waiting for a cappuccino.

At my DR 18 years old, my parents gave me an expensive certificate to visit a very glamorous restaurant. Dinner for 2 persons (a bottle of Italian champagne) + 3D movie to choose from the catalogue. I just started dating a girl who very, very, very much liked me. Here is such a chance. Of course, I invited her. Prepared for this evening, 2 nights did not sleep, worried, beautiful phrases invented. After a week, we decided which movie to watch. stopped on the Titanic. And here, in the evening of X, I ran out like a freak, going after my girlfriend. She is in a sexy evening dress. We rush to rescue. At the entrance I present proudly a certificate and... The administrator says that this certificate has already been visited a few days ago. I became red, pale, green, mechal, bacal. It turned out: the ancestors thought that I had no one to go with, and ran themselves. The epic!

As a result, we (I in the costume, the girl in the dress) sat in Mac, because I had no money for a more decent cafe at the time.

Thank you Mom, thank you Dad. I hope you were cool! ! to ! to

That is how this boy studied in another group.
WOW: And you are in which?
I am in another.
He is in "other" and you are also in "other".
It turns out that you studied in the same group.
Go on, you fucking programmer.

I bought a vase for my wife’s birthday. The most beautiful, not the most beautiful. I gave. Flowers in the present. I thanked and put it on the shelf. Half an hour dark as death passed, trying not to talk to me. Until the flowers in the vase did not guess to put... She goes out of the room, all shines, new earrings hang in her ears...

My friend told me he took the idea. The woman on the DR ring in the pants for retirees moved. The ring was discovered when she swallowed his pants with these...

Mom learned that I started smoking, well, first broke my father's belt, and in the evening Bate told me, I expected a second supply, but my father behaved strangely, read about the harm of smoking, and then said that I am already an adult (17 years old) and I can make decisions myself, and you can smoke.

The next day, coming in the evening, I demonstrately with my father pulled the package of "Rodopi" out of my pocket, and immediately caught it in my ear.

Just my father was a subordinate the day before, and he did not remember our conversation.

I went out in the morning to work, living on the 7th floor of the old panel nine-story. He called the elevator and did not go. Well, in general, as usual, broke, this happens quite often. He went down on foot, on the first floor of the elevator attached a paper with the phone of the lift service, called the elevator and left work to work. In the evening at home, the wife tells, in the words of the neighbor’s grandmother:
The elevator arrived in the morning, stumbled on the first floor, stumbled on something there, went to the 9th floor. The elevator was there, he safely launched it and, in order not to walk, went to the first floor. The elevator broke safely on the 3rd floor, the elevator was locked in the elevator. He called for help from another elevator. It wasn't about an hour and as it turned out later, he was so rushing to help a colleague that he flew to the cabin and was taken to the hospital with a stroke of the brain. Nothing to do, the first elevator called the third elevator. He arrived after 10 minutes and safely climbed to the 3rd floor, where he was twisted so hard that he lost consciousness. The entrance grandmothers called an ambulance, the third elevator was taken with suspicion of appendicitis. Nothing to do, called the fourth elevator. When he arrived, the local grandmothers almost met him with the icons and sprinkled with holy water. He escaped from such a meeting, listened to stories about his colleagues and went on cotton feet to rescue the first elevator. Fortunately, everything succeeded, nothing happened and both elevators were served with a borschet (the first even drank for rescue). How do you have fun at home?

We talked about accidents. The summer. We go with a friend, and next to him as swiftly, with permissible speed, a man is dragged. We stop at the lighthouse, people go, and here bypassing us, the veil breaks out and knocks down a person. A man in blues:
A man was beaten. As always, in front of me. I will call.
Takes the tube and presses a single button.
After that, when the goats let us go, we did not dare to overtake him.

I love people who believe that "normal people" work from ten to six, and after that - only some mysterious and clearly criminal personalities. Apparently, these people never go to shops and cafes (I have a normal schedule in the bedroom area - until 22:00, the sellers then still have to count and deliver revenue). Even they do not read sites that are updated 24 hours a day (I worked just as a night editor in college, they paid more for a non-standard schedule), did not get injured by accidentally hitting a glass door with a bare hand at three o’clock at night, and in the tech support of the provider, if anything is not the case, these cute people also call exclusively until six o’clock in the evening!

Did you know that turtles can breathe through a duck?
At least through yours?

With GT, discussion of the article "Customs against Russians"

aaa: Reduction of the non-compliant limit

BBB: I admire the terminology!
“And then the Federal Customs Service came and put it all out.”

When I was a pedestrian, I was always surprised by the behavior of drivers. On the pedestrian trails to open a window and show the figure, scream on the elderly when they cross longer than 10 seconds, to pass the trail when several meters have already passed people, which cannot be noticed. All the cars laughed at me and said that the pedestrians were foolish. I will get the right to understand.
I got a driving license for a year, but why pedestrians do not violate the rules - fools still do not understand.

xxx: "David" is the answer to the question "what is done?"