from ZH:
They took a man to the infectious hospital, to whom the mother-in-law came to visit with a cake. The cake man grabbed in one pot (woman - on a diet, the child is still not given sweets, the father-in-law, which is interesting - refused).
After six hours, the man felt a mess, and then the whole house felt it. The cake was delayed for two weeks.
It was hard to put the vein, so dehydrated.
We go, we turn the wheel from thirty kilometers to the hospital.
The man cries, we try to entertain him with his conversations.
The top phrase was said by the driver: "Men, but you will always have something to remember now!"

Helena Astapova
My favourite bought a coat - it's probably winter! 😉

HHH
My favorite bought a kidney surprise - rather tea!
Favorite bought a baton - rather sandwiches!
Favorite bought a shrimp - rather get to the aquarium!
I have statuses for every day.

I will reveal the secret:

I realized that I abused too much watching porn when I realized what kind of actor a young man from a neighboring office always reminds me of.

I like working in the office a lot more.)

for delivery:
In the report:

"-- You will have a wife - you will learn that you can fuck her from force 5-6 times a day for 40 minutes maximum, even if the weekend"

You are a giant, Daddy.
Married for 8 years



I would say a giant!
Married for 25 years


And I would even say, a sickness!! to
Unmarried for 30 years

On RBC news "In the Philippines died "poor but very respected" Sultan Sulu":

Sultan Sulu and his family are still receiving compensation from the Malaysian government for the loss of $1.7 in previous possessions, but the politician has repeatedly complained that this is not enough.

Indeed, a little - I would also be dissatisfied.

Maxim Koch: I am dangerous
Maxim Koch: Yes
Maxim Koch: Fast and bold
Maxim Koch: As a bullet sharp
Yaroslav R: as the bear is thick =)
Yaroslav R: as the wol lazy
Yaroslav R: as a whirlwind
Yaroslav R: How Boris Moiseev is disgusting
Maxim Koch: The Suck

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Spam came - "The emission of the vagina hot. The Swedish Hours" My pattern is scattered into atoms. Who will be the emitter of the vagina?

WOW :
The emitter of the vagina... sounds like... charming... the doping emission of the vagina...

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Your assets are such assets! Credit it in full!

WOW :
Let’s take a lease, baby.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Right in the franchise.

WOW :
I hedge and hedge.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Not in my investment fund.

It was 1986. A friend of my father came to visit us in the village. Captain of long-distance navigation. The guest was my jeans. The Jeans!! In our depths they were seen several times when my uncle came and filmed a film in the club. I woke up in the morning with a wonderful feeling of how all the dogs in the village were dead of envy... they hanged on the back of the chair. The dream. A caring grandmother. With the shooters. To my reasonable cry why, I answered simply – well, it’s also trousers...

From the reference to the mini-shredder: "The test of the device in field conditions showed only one minus of the device - it does not slip up on the blinds".

Can I even see a horror in my dreams? It begins to dream such a classic nightmare - a gray fog, monsters some climb out of the cracks, I escape with a swing, slightly breathing, on the way there are two mimic kittens, they need to be saved, I plant for the sinus, as if not to press, and so that they don't freeze, oh, they mourn, hungry, probably urgently to feed, here is a bowl, here is a bed, ah you want to go to my bed, well, jump, play a fantasy, they are already five, mimic, slept, murmur, pissing it like a nightmare was, what's wrong with my psyche?!...

xxxxxxxxxxx:
1) What are you doing?
17:01:21

of ZZZ:
Overall, I worked as deputy general director of a large construction company for more than ten years, but three years ago I got a brainwash and suddenly started drawing, quit my job and immediately started teaching painting.
17:03:57
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Strongly hit?

*** by
... "Would citrus live in the southern parts? Yes, but a fake copy!" What was it?
*** by
It was a standard phrase for checking the telegraph (tele typing, any other printing) apparatus, containing almost all the letters of the Russian alphabet (there are no letters "yo" and "ъ").
Sometimes the phrase is like: would citrus live in parts of the south? It is a fake copy!

Oh, you’re joking, and the ballerinas really have the strength to break a horse’s vertebrae with a leg.
WOW: if a concrete plate falls on the foot at the time of the impact - undoubtedly

Comments on the game Zombie Apocalypse:
I am sorry for zombies. They die twice in their lives.

Installation of video surveillance. Recently we put 5 cameras to one lady, a month later she called us with pretense. The essence of the pretense is that of the 8 cameras 3 does not work....It is difficult to explain to a person, without a hysterical laugh, these cameras do not work BECause they do not exist!!!!!!!! to
The most interesting thing that she didn’t believe and went to count them with the words "I’m that, foolish of yours", while we walked we laughed. For all my work, it’s Mega Fail!

In the report:

"-- You will have a wife - you will learn that you can fuck her from force 5-6 times a day for 40 minutes maximum, even if the weekend"

You are a giant, Daddy.
Married for 8 years



I would say a giant!
Married for 25 years

Asked a brother from Russia to buy a textbook on natural science for the 4th class in Russian - we did not find it.
I will try to send the textbooks either by banner or by mail, but I
I need an exact address to send. In view of our postal
Russia works in the Academy of Sciences for half-time as a layout
black hole, then the delivery time cannot be named, even when I will send.
And also to emphasize the exclusive good-neighborly character
Relations with your totalitarian hell are in the bastion of democracy.
Liberalism receives sendings to Belarus in the district
They are forced to travel to somewhere in Moscow.
Exclusively for our comfort.

On the way to work in the morning, I go to the store and say, pointing to the window:
-"I have this water, without gas, 2 liters"
-" No such is."
The brain screams: Well buy me water-i-i-i-i!!! (I really don’t use such a dryer)
-"Give me then a half cup."
-"Neither also."
There is still a 0.5 litre bottle on the window. And you think that of two options you will be lucky in any way.
Fuck it there!
-"This is a mule", calmly responds the seller in the image of the lady "a-la 80s".
“So why are they standing on your window?"I start to get angry.
The seller presses his shoulder and hides somewhere behind the cash machine.
-"Better if you had a beer with a mule"- I spoke shortly.
The morning was ruined.
I am for what? Water becomes a shortage, and in our city the mayor became the CEO of OJSC "Tomske pivo".

<Cosolapapaja_toys> I have a man lost (

<Gus_ne_s_Ray> probably dropped under the couch

We arranged a drunk in the shelter yesterday and the neighbor made the whole bed, and here he went today to change the bedding and there was a dialogue with the castilian:

Q: Can I change clothes?
K is passing.

Going in, she laid out a billy, the castilian looked at the spotted prostates and gave out:

K: I’m not going to change that dirty thing, go wash it first and bring it.

I went and bought a new set of beds and shuffle.

By the evening, the commander gathered everyone for Saturday, comes to our room and says

Going to Saturday.
The neighbor gives
- There is dirty, first go then I'll be on Saturday and I'll go out.

We ride like horses at the comedy eye for 5 rubles. I explained laughing =)