bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88534
 19.10.2013
We have neighbors repair, just pulled out a hole in the wall, twenty centimeters.
I want to borrow salt.)
Q: Could you move the TV a little more right?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88533
 19.10.2013
to this:
In the 98th year he was sitting at the meeting of the graduation (with his parents) at the IWC (Computational Mathematics >and Cybernetics, MGU). The important uncles stood back and offered to ask questions from the room. >Some mommies get up and start "We were told that cybernetics is a false science...". No one had heard her question since the whole hall was hysterically rotting.

It should be noted that cybernetics was called false science in the USSR, where all space launches were exceptionally successful (if you believe the media of the time), and the evil pops from the RPC did not only have the department of theology in the universities, but also their own educational institutions, with a few exceptions.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88532
 19.10.2013
xxx: there is such a beast, "coach", which in English translation means "reboot". he steals quietly and throws on unsecured documents and eats them. Especially he likes to steal before lunch and at the end of the working day, when work in unsaved documents has been done a lot and their loss is irreparable. You can only fight the scam by frequently saving documents, then it is offended and goes to other computers.
He is your beast.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88531
 19.10.2013
A guy and a girl in a supermarket at the box office:
Let’s get a kidney for girls.
D – What are you? I'm not an adult girl, so I have to go shopping for adults. Give me that kidney with the pirates.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88530
 19.10.2013
to this:
The hotel "Lady Lake" We have a lot of experience receiving Europeans.

The ice battle was on Lake Cuddy, if you are about it. On Ladoga, from the famous, there was only the "Road of Life" from the besieged Leningrad. Learn the story, your mother.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88529
 19.10.2013
Mister "Iron Logic"

Forever friends, I have revenged for us! I was harassed by an old girlfriend, but I didn’t give it to her :)

The most interesting thing is that "insulted" some, and revenge others.
Let’s say that you’ve been kicked off by the 8B. But nothing, then you caught a couple of excellences from this class and broke them.
Be proud of what...

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88528
 19.10.2013
This is what "Houston cries"...
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
This is what, my father on the home phone ALWAYS meets type "Base of torpedo boats", "Drug Dispensary", "Pronto", "Winter Listening" and so on. One day my brother’s teacher called. After the greeting "Osama Bin Laden’s Residence" in the telephone to invite parents to school changed my mind :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88527
 19.10.2013
I snorted with my wife in the evening, snorted me about higher education, I inst. has never finished. In the morning I go out to smoke on the staircase cage, and the larvae in the door broke, I remained in some shorts and boots, the street is raining, it is cold... I called the door, I decided to knock my wife, I said, “Go into the apartment, take your diploma in your left hand, in the right crucifix and save me!” After a couple of minutes I hear back coming from the door: "I dropped the screwdriver from the kitchen window, no diploma - work with your hands!"


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88526
 19.10.2013
I bought my nephew (13 years old) washing gums in the shape of soldiers. The husband began to scream that he was enough to play with the soldiers, it was time to be interested in the girls.
I say "One does not interfere with the other".
Man (category): "Even how it prevents! Either fuck or play in soldiers!"
In a couple of hours, my husband: “I’ll go before bed and play a little tank.”
I am " good. But as you said, either fuck or play".
Husband (protesting): "But I can do it!!and "

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88525
 19.10.2013
Our chief accountant Margarita Lvivna is called Leo Margheritich.

It deserves it ?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88524
 19.10.2013
by Vasa Dobrev. On his dirty car someone wrote with his finger "Help me". He saw and wrote the answer below - "go nahuy". So he rides.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88523
 19.10.2013
X: Okay, what is the mood?
I spent the whole morning with grandmothers.
Y: In the LFC
Y: It is very funny.
Their hands are broken, and they break them, and they compete.
X: The type who gets better?
Y: Oh, short, one grandmother did everything very badly but couldn’t get along and used the main spell.
Y: She says – here you are the type of exercise you do here, and I say I can be baptized, the type of hand special pulled just to be baptized.
Y: Type of Faith Unshakable
Y: And shortly, this grandmother begins to embrace herself with the cross.
Y: Other grandparents did not want to lose
Y: In general, it all ended with the fact that 30 old ladies sitting in the LFK office began to be baptized, and some even sang prayers.
Y: This is the morning.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88522
 19.10.2013
Listen, did you know that there are no Negroes in the Lord of the Rings?

Some of the barbaric tribes that lived south and southeast of Mordor had black skin.
If this was not shown in the film, it does not mean that it did not happen at all. Read the literature, that is the truth.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №88521
 19.10.2013
Calling from the morning.

- Hi Victor, my name is <name>, I am a representative of "Fuck-Bank"

Is it...?? to

- <heavy breath in the tube> YOU! Hey to! by BI! The Bank!! to

I invited you to the interview :)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №88520
 19.10.2013
During a conversation with students, Lukashenko (Republic of Belarus) also acknowledged that he positively perceives criticism from Washington: "They kick my feet, they throw sticks at me. I go and think we are doing the right thing. If they start to praise you, think, ‘Somewhere you didn’t do that.’

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88519
 18.10.2013
Announced by:
In the city of N, in a normal and sociable and company of guys, a grandmother-friend is needed.
Z is. by consent of the parties.
_________________________________________________________
Leonard and Sheldon?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88518
 18.10.2013
to these:
to this:

She: her husband found a half-life flies on the floor, pulled out a few finger batteries from the table and slid them down the floor in the direction of the flies from a meter. Is this normal for a 32 year old?
He is: Yes

I would still take a couple of pieces of the wire and lock the fly into the electric circuit.)))
by Zy. I am 31 years.

I would fuck my wife. I am 30. Only a year remains until the deadline (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88517
 18.10.2013
This is :
"Friends forever, I have revenged for us! I was harassed by an old friend, but I didn’t give it to her :)"
You are not a vengeful, you are an idiot!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88516
 18.10.2013
In The Hague in the evening of October 17, unknown people robbed the house, which is under the control of the Russian embassy in the Netherlands. This is by NL Times. Now our move.
Fuck, I’m starting to like it.

YYY: I just don’t understand that they can’t share with the Netherlands.? to

Fuck you sir!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88515
 18.10.2013
We had a battalion in the army: E.D. and bobro.
The only person whose initials were written in front of his surname.

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