bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №88454
 17.10.2013
Lorana: I suggest introducing a new term – the imitation of primacy. That uncomfortable moment when you promise to watch together, but don’t wait and pretend to watch for the first time, you are carefully surprised and laugh.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88453
 17.10.2013
Tori: Behold, in the gym there was a dispute about who will win the battle of a stuntman, with huge strength or a boxer with technical movements and precise strikes, opinions of course divided, but so far came to the conclusion that the guarantee of winning will be the use of a technique unknown to the opponent, your opinion -?
Dark: The stangster, the sabotage itself, must use things that are close to him and familiar - for example, hit the stang on his head.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88452
 17.10.2013
Dmitriy: Okay guys, it’s time to go to sleep.
Anton: I am calm
[0:02:44] Dmitriy: Snoff
Anton: The Night
[0:02:51] Sergey: Snoff
Victor: A good dream
Anton: ppc, teethless grandfathers and Tajik

[ + 8 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88451
 17.10.2013
X: I am busy. I am the headquarters.
Y: O_O
X: Gotland Eat
and °_o
X: The Head
Aaaahahahahahahah
Y: O_O
X: I’m going to cook!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88450
 17.10.2013
The New Moscow Car Curse
"Let your route change the asphalt 3 times a year!"

No, only three times a year is a blessing.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88449
 17.10.2013
Dark: The Ways of God... detailed in books on quantum mechanics :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88448
 17.10.2013
xxx: How lovely it is: I just discovered that in one tab of the browser I have an article opened "How to persuasively carry nonsense, lie, insult and avoid questions: master class", in the other - correspondence with a foreign partner of our company about delayed reporting, and in the third - my rainbow press release about the growth of investment in the region...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88447
 17.10.2013
Recently, I noticed that at the end of the lecture the loudest of all shouted "thank you" those students, who all the couple was lying fucking on the table, didn't do the nicotine and waited for when, finally, this shit would end.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88446
 17.10.2013
XXX is
By the way, you remember the corner of bombs where pipes and garages. Leha has a hard drive of 160 gigs and a book on architecture.

YYYY
Normally
It is wine
It’s almost like Elder Scrolls. Stole and spare in the camp of bombers various useful things
We could have fought for treasures.
Per there was an artefact in the log.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88445
 17.10.2013
From positive reviews about the store "CityLink":

I bought a flash
One day I got a salary and decided to upgrade the computer. He went to Sitylink, bought a flash for 130 rubles and happily moved home. After reading negative reviews and being in anxious agitation, shaking hands, shedding cold sweat, flashed the flash on the computer, clamped his eyes and counted to 10. I open up the gas and... oh miracle! A working flash! All, waiting for the next salary, I buy a mouse for 200 rubles.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88444
 17.10.2013
At the Android app competition held in Kazan, the first place was taken by the app "Heat rays", which turns the smartphone into a heater.

Buy 2 iPhones for 75 thousand and instead of boots.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88443
 17.10.2013
XXX is
Here again
Website for 2 weeks.
calmly
Measured
Hyacinth
Deadline
More done in 3 hours than in the rest of the time.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88442
 17.10.2013
I travel around Europe by train and bus. Over the head is a red button with a cup of coffee. I pressed. A nice guide immediately brings cappuccino.
He went to the hospital. There is a red button next to the bed. I pressed. A nice nurse brings a cup of coffee.
In a year I will be flying home to Luffy. The red button again. A nice stewardess brings a coffee.
Mercedes bus from Domodedovo. A red button with a cup of coffee.
Whom do you fuck? Hasn’t you cracked for a long time?
and blue! at home!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88441
 17.10.2013
A grandmother sitting in a crowded tram, riding her grandmother's affairs quietly under her nose, was outraged:
“When will you all rest? As well as in the war, all the trains were empty.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88440
 17.10.2013
Why don’t I use an umbrella?
Rain is divided into two types:
Too weak to hide under an umbrella.
Too strong to hide under an umbrella.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №88439
 17.10.2013
Blind everyone with your manicure, because the extract of palladium will make the nails literally sparkle with a voluminous glow.
Read loudly the description of nail lacquer from the catalogue of cosmetics, the dinner husband almost drowned...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88438
 17.10.2013
On the radio in the car by the edge of the ear he heard a fragment of the dictator’s speech: “Minfin will relentlessly fight...”. I did not find further.

At home, it was only necessary to enter the phrase "Minfin declared war" in the search engine "Yandex", as the computer immediately servicefully threw out a dozen articles with different dates, which start with the words: "Minfin declared war on financial pyramids", "Minfin declared a tax war", "Minfin declared war on offshore", "Minfin declared war on cash", "Minfin offers to plant"... The complete impression that the most peaceful ministry in the world declared war on the whole country and its people.

But if the search engine asks "Minfin won" the computer after a little thought out suddenly issues the same calls for wars and landings.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88437
 17.10.2013
Adequacy is the ability to silence unnecessary words in time.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №88436
 17.10.2013
Bank manager to client:
- I explain to you once again, we are a bank, our money, so we give loans exclusively on our terms. The owner, so to speak, barin.
The client thought:
and well. Then I want to put money on a deposit. I’m just wondering if you’ll start rubbing me about the conditions now. Money is mine.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №88435
 17.10.2013
“I have two children and I don’t care what they see on the screen.

I also have two children. Today is (i.e. Yesterday) I went with them to the bookstore, where on the shelves were books about murderers, drug addicts, prostitutes, weapons and so on. We passed by the department with magazines, where on the vitrine were coverings with half-naked aunts and shitty headlines. On the street we encountered a drunk mother-mother herd of human-like beings. During the day, the TV was turned on, where on the NTV channel showed a show about how the lover "wiped" the mistress of his husband's mistress for 50k rubles. On another channel showed a movie where there were many bodies and beating women. On the "First" channel showed some series about the war, where many smoked, drank alcohol, killed a girl, and the second had sex with a fascist, then tied him to a chair and tested the password from something. In the meantime, I saw advertisements for condoms and beer. Hm What am I? Oh yeah yes. You need to control the internet, otherwise children will learn badly there.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna