Madame came to the reception, with her son Maximka. After the examination, I was a little stunned...al. Maximka has an urgent pathology, requires serious hospital treatment with mandatory hospitalization. I say I have to go to bed. I say! I do not ask!

The son was silent all the time, only his mother said.

And the lady is like this: "He won't go to the hospital to go to bed, write out the pills!"

and honestly. I thought it was like that in anecdotes. Fortunately, I know a great way I mastered when I was in the ambulance. I put a box in the history of illness, near the field "rejection of hospitalization", I stretch it, I say:

Please register here.

Why is.

Then, if tomorrow your child remains disabled for the rest of his life, or worse, I will not be jailed.

Go straight to the room! A golden skill to make the patient feel responsible for their life and health, and not infantically transferred to doctors. And Maximke, the fuck, is 29 years old!

I worked at Tele2 for a while, serving clients. There were all kinds of personalities: evil grandmothers, who scored 1 penny, addicts and alkashi, who needed to urgently throw money on the card, but one case I remembered the most. Husband and wife come. Next M is the husband, Z is the wife, O is the operator (I).

M – Hello, I have money for something every day, can you see?

Yes, I will look at it now.

I start watching subscriptions first and see porn subscriptions first.

Usually I do not say which subscriptions are connected to the client, but silently remove them, but then the man himself asked to name them.

You have a sexual signature.

M is how? Yes is? The kids probably connected.

Misha, we have no children.

The Silence...

I wake up at the alarm clock, get out of bed, do my morning procedures, dress up and go to work. After a whole day, I wake up in my bed again. It turns out that I have dreamed all this and I need to go back to work.

Skuratov in his time washed up with girls in the bath and fucking.

It is not a scourge, but a man like a scourge.

Zzz: And not with girls, but with humanoids, similar to young females of humans.

I was very shy and shy when I was 10. At the same age, in the winter in Yakutsk (-40 on the street and thick fog), I missed my stop (since ice formed on the windows of the bus, and no one warned the stops). I was in 3rd grade, it was a Tuesday, and on Tuesdays we were going to the Children’s Palace (but that’s another story). At the time, the trip was free for primary classes, and for adults it cost 5 rubles. The driver announces the final stop and asks everyone to leave (I panic), but nothing to do, silently left, thinking across the road to the next stop I will go. And once out, it turns out to be the final stop - this is a desert with broken cars (frames), beyond 10 meters nothing can be seen because of the fog. The bus went somewhere, and I decided to go back as I arrived, I went for 20 minutes and got to the paved road, but no stops are visible, no signs. In the first 20 minutes my legs were very cold, but either from panic or something, the next 30 minutes I didn’t feel them literally, they were walking themselves, and I didn’t feel them. As a result, I got to some parking near the only less alive object (building store). And then the instinct of self-preservation worked and I knocked on the window of a regular car and asked how to get to the Palace of Childhood and described the whole situation with a shaking voice in a few words. The driver invited us to sit in the car to warm up, another 10 minutes we waited for his companion from the store. Eventually, they landed me at the Palace of Childhood and gave me 10 rubles. Already in the Palace of Childhood in an hour I began to feel the legs, and after that another hour they were warm=) A huge thank you and a low tribute to good people!

I work as a doctor in one of the capital hospitals. He came to the patient operated the day before (by the way, a man of 60 years), in connection with the development of post-operative anemia, routinely the need to perform a blood transfusion (simply put, blood transfusion), which he categorically refused. In his words:

Q: No matter what, do not give God, and suddenly I will be shed gay blood?! to

There was nothing to object.

History of long past days. I remembered her today while looking for a candidate for vacancy. At the end of the zero, a colleague salesman is fired in my store. Need a replacement. I work in a large booth. No shifts or weekends. A week has passed, the second. The director's answer is one - we're about to find, you tolerate, and we won't find, so we will transfer from another department by Monday. It’s Monday and the train is there. The nerves do not stand, I call the eichar directly (one per city) and there is a funny dialogue:

Aishwarya and when? I am already thinking off myself.

So far there is nothing to rejoice. No one brings friends.

In the sense? What kind of friends? Is there no option in the advertisement?

An advertisement is worth the money. And we have a motivation - employees bring friends to work and get a bonus. So we will not pay. They will simply not understand us.

Who will not understand?

You will not understand above. They will decide that we do not take action with friends.

I’ve seen ads in other cities.

They just work badly and they have no choice.

Do we get well? No one goes.

We will find ourselves. We will not use paid methods.

–...

Is it worth saying that after a week they still had to place ads, and already about two vacancies?

People who have worked all their lives, and who have not lived to retirement, need to give the title of "Hero of Labour" posthumously with compensation to relatives.

My aunt’s acquaintance after the divorce pulled to the extreme. I decided to jump with a parachute. The first jump is a crack in the spine. A month on anesthetics, jokes "I had to dive, fool!"After six months the call: "I call you from a Spanish hospital. “I was hit by the scratch!”

Okay well. But it is strange to me that the whole team on the pitch can shake, but not alone at home.

Take the child to make a mantle.

We enter the office, the little girl has already wrapped everything, cries.

The nurse:

If you stop crying, you get a ball.

The child calmed down, because for obedience she will be rewarded, looking for balls.

The nurse begins to swallow slowly, from the injected solution under the skin swells.

The nurse whispered:

And here the shaker appears.

In prehistoric times, once a year he flew to the "cradle of democracy" to the most important industry exhibition CEDIA. After the next exhibition, I decided to arrange a mini-off. Especially when it coincided with my birthday. Prior to receiving approvals from his spouse, he changed tickets a week later and fell to a childhood friend. We went to kindergarten with him in one pot, and then until 7th grade we beat off the humpot. They even took care of the twins. Such are we friends.

A friend of childhood changed Nevsky to Brooklyn and worked in the same specialty as Peter - a accountant.

But it is not about this my story.

We decided to dress up in wood for a farewell evening. But not ordinary at home (as was dressed before, under the dissatisfied eyes of his wife), but in the restaurant. A Japanese sushi bar. Gather rolls, sushi and let’s throw the sack. Then smoothly moved to the neighboring Irish music pub, where they finally ate the music of some local folk collective.

Time is far beyond midnight (well, I have a plane tomorrow evening), both completely on my eyebrows. Let’s go, I sing a little quietly. Nearly no friend. Pulling the cops. K = Copy, D = friend, I = I

K: “Hello guys! How are you doing?”

I said, “It’s all fine sir. We go home!”

Q: Will you definitely come? Can I help you?”

I am stressed, because in my homeland communication with cops never leads to anything good.

“Girls, can you take us? Or I’ll fall under the bush now.”

I said, “Are you crazy, idiot?! to

K: “No problem though. What is your address?”

At this moment, my friend is completely upset. I call the address, they help to sit down the body, I also sit down. I think, right now to the monkey and bring it.

One of the cops stretches me two bags with the words, “If you suddenly need it. followed by his friend.”

In general, they brought us fully and safely to the address.

I: “Sorry, I’m from Russia, it’s unusual for me that the police take me home. Is it accepted so?”

K: “I’d better take you home than I’d do your body or robbery afterwards. And in general, thank you to the Russians, how you started to settle here, black (yes, shit, he just said that - black!) They leave and the area becomes quiet. It is easier for me, a white man, to reassure two drunken Russians who are cleaning each other’s faces without crossing the boundary, than to reassure one dumb nigger with a gun behind his mushroom.”

The castle was broken today. Choosing a shop in the shop. Please tell the girl:

"Please tell me, I have a chopped Chinese door, a lock broke on it.

Oh, we have Chinese castles for your door. Here they lie.

and thanks.

Russian healthcare is the best in the world. But only if you are healthy.

Explanatory employee of the management company.

(Names and names are distorted unrecognizable)

I, Shaev A.R., 03.11.2020 Lada-Largus arrived at the Company’s railway base in the morning, where with the help of his brigade (sanitary technicians T. and K., the welder O.) We put the necessary materials and tools in the car. Then we and the brigade headed to the "Blue Shar" residential building at Yamitskaya street. D is 54B for the purpose of repairing the cold water supply pipeline according to Order No. 405/20.
On the Jamaican street. There are never parking spaces, and it is very difficult to unfold in the yard of Blue Shar because of the intellectual abilities of the designers and tenants, I decided to put the car on the Bosjakovsky street and deliver the gas balloons, materials and tools to the workplace on the carts.
Welding O. and sanitary engineer K. brought to the place of work the heaviest - a cart with gas welding bottles, hose and burner. Sanitary technician T. took a section of the pipe and a bag with a part of the tool. I stopped and locked the car. In my backpack was a Bulgarian "Makita" (big, inv. No. 5897) and a cuvalda (personal) weighing 4 kg. In addition, I carried a welding wire band (4mm, 1m, 8 pieces).
After checking the closure of the door, I went to the place of work. My dog Radar was present with me at work. The reasons why the dog is constantly with me, the management of the site is known.

(NB Radar - found, in addition, was brutally beaten by someone. The author of this opus picked up a puppy in the summer and cared for a long time. By the time of the events, the dog was quite hesitant, but the bite was as afraid to be left alone. Arthem was stuck in his pants, only that he would not leave. The appearance is something like an undergrown Dobermann with an uncovered tail-bar and huge shepherd ears. Totally white. The short hair. In general meth. The favourite of all the aunt of the area, a lover of laughter and tastes.)

Near the house No. 27-29 on the Bosjakovsky street, on the opposite sidewalk from the courtyard arch came a young man with a Labrador. The Labrador was without a rope and a lead, just like the Radar. I do not know why this person insulted me. I was just heading to the workplace, and the Radar ran ahead, between me and T., not paying any attention to the Labrador or his owner.
Okay these gay guys! - proclaimed a young man, pushing his finger to my side, which in itself is uncultural. You have to dress better!
I do not know the etymology of the word “homosexuality”, but in general I have understood that it is a sort of discharge of society, which highly qualified labor firms are not. However, I did not want to enter into a conflict in an empty place, and therefore decided to reduce the whole matter to a rough (not I started it) but still a joke.
What is fashionable this season and in the city? Could there be a cut in the form of a heart on a pre-vaseline ass? Have fun in the same way, but in our countryside the decency is different. All the good!
What did you say? Do you know who I am?
In principle, I recognized him. I know that his name is Roman, he is filming. No. 38 in the house 21, which is also in the management of the Company, works in a bank and a year ago was guilty of flooding the below-located apartment No. 32 due to negligent use of household appliances, which he denied, appealing to his position and reputation in the house, as well as remaining unclear to me "status in society".
In this country, adults say “you.”
And here in Europe...
By this point, my emotional state had gone from gentle to irritable, and I had to make repairs. And so I advised him to clean up in his heart-loving Europe and there to indicate how to dress every face-to-face. I also expressed my wish that the outspoken and outspoken Euro-Arabs, not bound by the decency and the Rules of the Company, should properly teach him good manners.
I turned to go further, the sanitary technician T. was holding me a barrel of spare entrance to the courtyard, the guards of M stood near the gate. and brothers.
Lord take it!
The Labrador (I previously thought the Labradors were clever, kind and calm dogs) stumbled at me with obviously bad intentions. But in the middle of the road, the radar struck him from the side and, without rotating, grabbed Lord into the area of his side or abdomen. Labrador wept and turned to the Radar, I dropped my backpack, grabbed the wire band and rushed to rescue my dog – he is twice the size of that Lord. But the radar had time to bite the Labrador twice and chased him down the Bosjakovsky street, continuously attacking. Labrador pulled his tail and almost struck the standing at d. 19 the garbage.
Remove your foolish shit! and live! A fashion expert.
Being in a state of affection, I pursued the dogs and accidentally struck Roman's body, from which a bank employee fell in a position sitting on the sidewalk.
A blatant product! He was screaming.
Such an insult to my deceased mother I could not withstand, and so I stopped, for the opening of the jacket raised Roman and struck him with an open palm on his ear. Then I pushed him to the fence of the lawn with my stomach forward, pressed his back with my knee and dropped his jeans and cowboys from the shovel. The trousers turned out to be with an inappropriate print, which did not surprise me - I had long guessed that Roman was a face of non-standard sexual orientation.
Having thus prepared the face of the banking orientation for the correction of its manners, I removed the belt and performed a procedure that properly helps in the correction of poorly educated young people since the emergence of mankind as a whole. This procedure was declared wrong only about 50 years ago, which by historical standards is nothing. In addition, this procedure is recommended by the Holy Scriptures in both Orthodox and Catholic versions.
The words spoken by Roman during the period of his teaching, I will not bring here, because this will not withstand not what paper, but also the pergament of calf skin. I will only note that the fantasy and life experience of this person is unusual and limitless.
I was saved from committing a more severe crime by the brothers M., who advised Roman not to commit more delusional acts and to keep an eye on his tongue, so as not to turn into a jmure in a less plastic terrain than the city in which he currently lives.
The guards of M. took me to the yard of the ZK and gave me a glass of water to calm my nerves. The radar ran by itself and crashed into the slope between the springs. There were no injuries to him.
Please note that the victim Roman himself provoked me for reasons unknown to me. I did not give him grounds for insults. Witnesses: brothers M., sanitary technician T. and a resident of the "Blue Shar" complex Z-ov, who smoked on the balcony at the time of the incident.
Please thank the security guards. Brothers M. for not allowing me to commit a grave crime.
I do not admit guilt, I consider my reaction an adequate self-defense.

Master of Shayev A.R. from 05.11.2020


The Explanatory Resolution:
Shayev A. R. to declare a sentence without reference for non-restriction in respect of the tenant and to pay a fine of 1 (one) thousand rubles.
To the Department of Material and Technical Supply: to issue Shaev A.R. A new working insulated jacket, old to dispose of under the act.
Accounting: to allocate 2000 (two thousand) rubles from the premium fund to a dog named Radar for beef cutting for bold and excellent actions to protect the repair brigade from bodily injury.

Chief Engineer of the UK.

Joe Biden has just said that Melania Trump could stay in the White House.

I talked to my husband, literally for a couple of minutes went to the bathroom, at the same time in the mirror admired myself. I come back and ask:

Don’t you think my ass is round?

- I don't know, dear, I have an audio conference... I apologize, colleagues...

I was not there for two minutes! and two! and your mother:

If you want to always win, it’s not enough to just set rules. These rules need to be changed constantly.

The fate of an athlete

The Forgotten Names

“Equal to Boychenko! Beat records like Boychenko in the water and Chkalov in the sky!”

In such words, Stalin himself in 1938 welcomed the swimmer Semen Boychenko, who returned from Europe with triumph. A Soviet athlete in a red star hat in France set a new world record, embarrassed the main competitor and fell in love with thousands of fans. Stalin was one of his favorite athletes.

Semen was born in 1912 in the village of Maryvka on the territory of modern Ukraine. There, in the games with peers in the local river Ingul, fast and full-water, he set the base for future outstanding records - he swam excellent from a young age.

“They lived in the village poorly to get some food, had to fish and spend days on the river. Already then I learned the strange art - to walk on the water on foot, showing different water focuses to the skiers," the athlete recalled many years later.

For the first time seriously with his skills he struck others when he went to serve in the navy. One day, on the command of the captain, a hundred sailors arranged a sailing from the shore to the ship. The distance was about a kilometer. And Boychenko overcame him first, overtaking the rest.

This swim and became the beginning of the career of an outstanding champion. A strong, wide-armed sailor was sent to the Black Sea Naval Forces Spartakiad – he won. Included in the team of the Workers' and Peasants' Red Fleet - became the best. As a result, Boychenko was sent to the Central Sports Club of the Army for continued service.

Without knowing it, Boychenko still in his native village mastered the youngest and most fashionable swimming style of the existing: in 1935, the international swimming federation recognized a variety of brace with throwing hands out of the water. This method was later called batterfly.

This is how the seeds swim. With the help of coach Andrei Vankov, he refined the technique of movements, and the young athlete was not able to occupy. A series of recordings began.

In all, Boychenko has set 111 records in Moscow, the Soviet Union and the world.

The first national record was set on November 8, 1935, at a 100-meter race in Prague. And literally two months later he dropped from him four seconds and updated the best world achievement – 1.08,0. In 1936, he sailed even faster! Swimmers who took prize seats at the Olympic Games in Berlin in the off-road struggle were much inferior to Boychenko in the results shown, but the Soviet Union then did not play at the Olympics.

Foreign competitors were convinced that Boychenko either violates the technique of swimming, or his time is incorrectly fixed, so they were especially waiting for a personal meeting with him. In 1937 it took place: at the World Labour Olympics in Antwerp, Semen became the first with a new record!

Immediately after this tournament, the Soviet delegation was invited to France. But all the attention was drawn to the smiling and muscular record swimmer. Boychenko was offered to swim the distance under close supervision of judges. In addition to experts and representatives of the press, 20 thousand spectators visited such an unusual flood. All of them were delighted: Boychenko's technique was magnificent, and the world records he set were real, they struck the imagination.

However, the famous and popular French swimmer in those years, Jacques Carton, did not agree with this. Boychenko called Cartone to the match – decided to swim 400 meters. However, before the very beginning, the French simply fled. He came down from the tub, allegedly paying attention to the red star on the opponent's hat and felt that he could be punished for participating in a competition with a representative of the USSR, which was not then part of the International Swimming League. Fans whispered to Cartone and remained to support Boychenko, who again sailed alone in the entire pool.

And set a new world record in the eyes of the crowded tribunes!

“Sorry, it’s time for me to go home.”

Boychenko was not allowed to pass. He was invited to solemn events, dinner, offered not to return to the USSR, but to stay in France. They even offered to go to the cinema! The press almost broke through the battle to the hero, not even to ask a question, but simply to record on the film, how the "Butterfly King" or "Red Whale" breathes, such nicknames were given to him by fans.

All tempting proposals Semen polently rejected: “I’m sorry, but it’s time for me to go home.”

In his home country, he was also seen as a hero. Just then Stalin from the tribune and spoke about Boychenko and Chkalov. However, the glory of the athlete did not lose him. Until 1941, he showed remarkable results. At the 100 meter distance, his world record is 1.05,4, and 200 meters he overcame with 2.29,8. Incredible achievements for the early 40s!

Then the war began. Boychenko wanted to go to the front, but, as they say, Stalin personally freed him from mobilization and sent him to the troops to train special combatants. During the war, the champion trained swimming more than ten thousand soldiers.

“They are not broken here!”

It seemed that after the war, Boychenko would be able to return to the big sport and show rivals the power of domestic athletes at international competitions. But in 1948 he was suddenly arrested for many.

Having read the materials of the case, the swimmer said that he would not sign anything. “There are no such breaks!” the investigator rejected him. Boychenko endured the pressure for six months, for which he lost 40 kg, and eventually promised himself to save from the persecution of his relatives.

According to a false report, Boychenko was accused that he allegedly allowed himself disrespectful statements in the address of the son of the ruler of the USSR Vasily Stalin. And in the end, they were condemned for ties with the bourgeois press and immigrants, recalling the triumphant performance of the swimmer in France.

According to the popular version, Boychenko was arrested on the personal order of Vasily Stalin, who competed for the athlete young and beautiful swimmer Capitolina Vasilyev.

Capitolina later became the wife of Vasily, and Semena was sent to serve the term. The legendary swimmer worked on the harvesting of forests in the Solikams camps. Usollag (one of the Gulag camps) was little different from the other NKVD forest camps: the same abandonment in the most deaf places and complete detachment from the outside world, the same punishment work on forestry and forestry, the same deadly conditions of existence. From there, Semen Boychenko wrote letters to Stalin's father with a request to review his case. But he was released only seven years later, in 1955.

A year later, Boychenko was fully rehabilitated. He received all the rewards and honors.

After being released, the swimmer went to Maryvka, where he swam and dive in Ingul until he lost his strength.

At the age of 43 he had to start his life again, and he succeeded. He began to do what he loved and knew - passed his skills on to young swimmers. Already in 1960, at the Olympics, he was the coach of the Soviet Swimming team, then became the honorary president of the Moscow Swimming Federation. Even in his 70s he showed results to envy young people.

The legendary athlete died in January 1987, three months before his 75th anniversary. Before this, he managed to return to Maryvka with his family and his native Ingul.

In the United States, there is a complex system of elections: voters, then voters, different percentages of states... Our system is advantageously distinguished by simplicity and clarity: the current president appoints the head of the CEC, and he chooses the current president as president.