Xy is good. I have no alcohol for a few months now.
XX: Because everything needs to be measured
xy: I know (But there was a black hole man who had little of what he had been sucking up continuously, and also drank others skillfully)
In his orbit, one bottle was equal to seven liters.

There was also a story, a cousin brother with a wife from the village came to us in Moscow, to host a little. First we went to the Kremlin. The first call: “We are here on Mochova Street (not Mochova Street), where is the Kremlin here?” and “The fact that it is well seen from this street, I will be silent.” But the second call just got me: “We came down here in the subway, what number of train to wait for us?”and "

Anyone arriving in Moscow must immediately begin to navigate in it.
Especially if he had a relatives from the village, so we laugh "his wickedness"and along and across.

I wonder why they don’t like Russians.

Every thing has two sides, and only human stupidity is one-sided.

The castrated rhino

Remember: a raspberry jacket, shaved skull, chains, rings and so on.
This is the house where my friends lived.
And we have to say that the windows of them went out into the yard-barracks (who lived in the old areas - knows). The acoustics in these courts are better than in the conservatory.
And here, coming at night on his "Cheroki", this hmo, switching on the receiver to full volume and opening the doors in the car, raised the whole house on its feet. Exhortations and warnings in response provoked flows of mate and threats to drive everyone into the asphalt.
And then one morning in the courtyard there was a roar of a castrated rhinoceros. His favourite jeep was pierced from top to bottom through a wooden crash with a bound, for stabilization of flight, a meth. The house is on 9 floors, so the break even got a little into the ground. The search for the thief led to nothing, and in the courtyard at night it became quiet.

I call a friend and ask how the weekend went.
After a long pause:
How did they go?! to

When it comes to toys, my cousin is afraid of dogs (mostly big ones). They feel it, and often feel it. Go to the toy store for gifts, then yes, and here is a bat! These same toys-dogs are working, which are beginning to weep exhaustedly and cuddle on my sister))) It was necessary to see her face - even toy dogs are now cuddling her))

Do I need to inform a neighbor with a perforator about the light reflector law?

Wut: Do you know what your wife calls celebrations at work? the assembly.

I reveal the terrible secret of the "neighbor with a perforator":

The man got a broken apartment, _fully filled with concrete. He is just slowly cutting off his life space. A year is the hallway, another six months is the sorting, another year is the bedroom... Waste is carried out behind the hole of the pants, of course (see). "Flight from Shawshank")

Will we go for a walk tomorrow?
YYY: I am for it. As long as you are warmly dressed.
XXX: Noah may be
YYY: I will give you, maybe!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY This phrase in printed form looks ambiguous xD

This smart man called yesterday, asking to borrow 20 thousand a month. I say, okay, but I don't have rubles, I can give in euros, then you will give on the course. I was offended.

Even more clearly, the harmful meaning appears in the fairy tale, trying to defile another positive hero - the Serpent Gorinich. This remarkable personality, in addition to its high flight qualities, is worthy of respect by being one of the first to use fireworks. In the name of what did the respectable Gorinych let his fireworks and tearful smoke go on? To calm the inhabitants of the city who tried to avoid the payment of the established legal tax! The form of tax does not matter. Did he like to eat people? His legitimate right, since complete military superiority was on his side.

Captain Crocus

The child is sitting at breakfast and, as usual, imagined that the bread is a machine and is riding her on the meal.
Mom asks: "Maybe you can’t play and sing?"
The child, with full wisdom eyes and serious voice answers: "In childhood everyone plays!"
My mom didn’t even find anything to answer.

Walkers, see what you are cooking? My elderly mother, travelling with me as a passenger, made sure that pedestrians on the road are really not visible, and a pedestrian can be shot down at a speed of 30 km / h.
Therefore, my mom started wearing white “reflective” things and was going to buy catapots.
Take care of yourself! Remember, you are not seen!

Stroggs: On average, a person has up to 92 sexual acts per year. In this case, if you believe the statistics, this December will be very hot for me.

– Tell me, have you ever noticed how there, on the boulevards, rocket cars run out there?
Sometimes it seems to me that those who ride them just don’t know what grass or flowers are. They never see them otherwise than at a high speed, she continued. “Show them a green spot and they’ll say, ‘Oh, it’s grass! Show the pink and they will say, “Oh, it’s a rosary!” White spots - houses, brown - cows. One day my uncle tried to drive on the highway at a speed of no more than forty miles per hour. He was arrested and sent to prison for two days. It is funny, right? and sad.
Have you seen advertisements on the highway? They are now 200 feet long. Did you know that they were once only twenty feet long? But now cars are carried on the roads with such speed that advertisements had to be extended, or nobody could read them.

On the issue of roses:
If people carry rosettes, they need it. Are there people working in construction firms? Answer - why in a new modern house in the kitchen 2 (two!) The Roses? Do you have anything else in the kitchen besides a cupcake? Why is there no roof in the bathroom? You don’t shave, you don’t dry your hair, and you haven’t invented the washing machine yet?
Each new home has two options - either to confuse the entire apartment with triplets and extenders (which, by the way, is not quite electrically safe), or to drill walls.
I choose the second option and understand my neighbors who are doing the same.

I read in the innet that someone in the washing machine had cockroaches, thought of the owner of such a good all the most terrible - how can you at all get to that in the cleanest place of the house this happened? Failure is complete! The next day, right in the morning, my machine was stuck and, pouring water through the lower hose, I got the whole family to the glow of scratched bugs.

What an irony! The first channel shows "Fear and Hate in Las Vegas" and warns "The film shows scenes of smoking tobacco. Smoking is bad for your health"

From the forum, the topic of professional symbolism

aaa: I was somehow in the urologist’s office filled with thematic souvenirs. He says, patients for some reason believe that since he is a urologist, then in addition to this organ he does not need anything in life.