bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105842
 23.11.2014
And we, as always in this clash, again came to the fact that if all drivers observed the PDD, carefully driven in their lane, not exceeding speed and with light, and pedestrians observing the PDD would walk carefully on the sidewalk or sidewalk (about "out of settlements" remember), going out on the roadway only to make sure that there are no cars, or that they are missed, then there would be no need for flirts, no stupid laws, no fines, no hateful battles,
But since the proportion of stupid selfish careless villiers on cars, scooters, bicycles and among pedestrians is quite large, so we live.
All good

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105841
 23.11.2014
What were the names of the three rich men? Alisha Popovich, Dobryna Nikitich... And the third?
YYY: The former? Oh no...

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105840
 23.11.2014
Each new home has two options - either to confuse the entire apartment with triplets and extenders (which, by the way, is not quite electrically safe), or to drill walls.
I choose the second option and understand my neighbors who are doing the same.

I did repairs in the apartment - completely switched all the wiring, changed the sockets, switches, etc... All the noisy work with the perforator and the stitching of the walls I did for 3 (three!) The day. in the awake. With breaks on the "sleep of neighboring children".
Then the furniture - the built-in closet, the closet, the shelves there, there and there... 3-4 hours with cigarettes for everything.
and all!
But these perforators drill for months! for years! What else can be drilled there? The walls are like cheese. Or will they turn the hole into a hole - the cement will be dotted - the drill again? Sunday, 9 a.m. – Greetings to the country!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105839
 23.11.2014
Children discuss the school:

Senior (16 years): We have one teacher here in a decree left...
Younger (10 years): Daaaah, you brought her...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №105838
 23.11.2014
xxx: I may, of course, be weird, but for me, mandarines are not associated with the New Year at all. The question is: what, in other times of the year, mandarines are not sold?
YYYYYYYYYYY School among us.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105837
 23.11.2014
Post on Memory.
I was a youth once. A fan of "Cinema" and lived in a rental apartment. Everyone knows the awkward melodies in their heads. Every time, for a couple of weeks, after leaving the apartment, the brain began to spin "The Last Hero". Until I realized this fact and analyzed it, I did not make a conclusion. The characteristic sound of the closing metal door resembled an accord from a song. And my inner Winamp servily began to spin the chosen track. Day after day...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105836
 23.11.2014
Without any laws, every year I buy a reflective tape and wearing clothes for my children, because in the winter at five we are already out-of-the-eye dark, and they are still in the classroom to wear.
Flickerers always talk on the bag and lightning.
No, it is now "to bow down" before the authorities...
People, you’re not getting your head shaken, cheeseburger!
Kitty...admin... all the things...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №105835
 23.11.2014
We just played the scene like a French comedy of provisions.
We have a mad, deaf old lady here, who is awake day and night and tries to put everyone on the ground. She tried to close us before we opened up. And behold, I am carrying the garbage today on the laundry we are paying, standing on the site we are paying, and the old lady is throwing on me, pressing her nose to my, and shouting that I do not dare to throw the garbage into her laundry, that she knows everything about me, that I do not pay for anything, well and so on. I did not argue for a long time, I made a kniksen and went on. Not every day I happen to communicate with the living heroes of Dostoevsky, so I decided to take out a second bag of garbage. This time my grandmother decided to follow me to find out where I was working. And I didn’t want her to make my mom a scandal, so I sneaked into a cosmetics and household goods store. There is a ladder so that the old man will not climb it. I turned around and went back to the bar. I come and the door is closed! The old lady still smelled where I was from, and made her mother hysterical, and she knows where they are now!
Meanwhile, my mother, thinking that I was not there for a long time, decided that I was killed. I closed the institution and went to the courtyard, found this grandmother and shouted at her "what did you do to my child?!!! She is missing! Grandma was scared, they found a man and a dog there together and went to look for me. At that time, I was knocking at the closed door and guessing where my grandmother was doing.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105834
 23.11.2014
What fucking separated? In Belarus, it has long been mandatory to wear flickers.

A joke on the subject:
How to distinguish a Ukrainian woman from a Ukrainian woman?
The Belarusian has a light-reflective bag on the bag.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105833
 23.11.2014
To this (I even stumbled out of surprise):

If you give another angiology of my impressions, you can describe a scene where the Buddha fights with the Prince of Persia on the roof of a skyscraper.

__________

Angiológia (from the Greek. ἀγεῖον - vessel + λόγος - doctrine) is a section of medicine that studies blood and lymphatic vessels.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105832
 23.11.2014
I work for a large commercial company Sisadmin. A fleet of 500+ machines, AD, Exchange and other attractions. Through Service Desk regularly, several times a day, received applications from a 50-year-old aunt who has been working in this firm as an accountant for 5 years. Then the mouse will pull out the leg, then run 5 copies of one resource-intensive program at once, then set the printer from another cabinet by default.
The previous boss considered her a valuable figure, who "is not obliged to know all the wisdom." I was already looking for a new job, as suddenly came a new, young boss, who after listening to me advised the SD, closing the application, to describe in detail the cause of the malfunction and send him notifications. In parallel, a new accountant, a 25-year-old girl, who recently graduated from the university, was found and interviewed. From the old aunt the boss began to take explanatory for every "false" challenge. tk. The aunt was inclined, wicked and stupid, then thought that these explanatory would make me, and therefore did not change her behavior and continued to do harm. Soon, on the basis of explanatory, she was fired for official non-conformity, with an article in the work book. Now for almost a year, a new girl is working, showing good results and does not bother the admin for nothing. Prior to this, I worked in the EuroNet, because all normal seats were occupied by such "irreplaceable" aunts with a ugly character.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105831
 23.11.2014
In Madagascar, 40 people have died from the plague
— — —
Well, you won’t believe it, but you can’t even say about the plague "It’s very bad". The plague is "Huevo that fucking!". The Middle Ages are an example. For those who are not aware of a little exercise: take a piece of paper and write on it in a column of 20 people from your "next circle". You can even sign up, but it doesn’t matter. Now place a point next to any of these names.
So here.
This man has survived.
This was the epidemic of the plague in the Middle Ages.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105830
 23.11.2014
All about light reflectants and saraphanes:
Read the original document, and don’t listen to the OSC radio (one grandmother said):

Decree of November 14, 2014 No. 1197
...
In order to increase the visibility of pedestrians in the dark hours of the day, it is established the requirement for pedestrians to use reflective elements when moving along the road outside of settlements in the specified period of time.
...
1) on the passing part
and
2) Outside of settlements
and
3) In the dark hours of the day

So speed limits do not play a role. And who is in such places at such a time in the Sarafans is also a separate topic.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105829
 23.11.2014
In early 2009, the Russian magazine "Finances" initiated an experiment. In front of the circus monkey placed 30 cubes with the names of companies placing shares on the stock exchange. She selected 8 cubic shares, and from these shares a investment portfolio was formed. At the end of the year, this portfolio showed higher returns than the investments of 94% of Russian collective managers.
— — — —
Apparently 6% of investment banks are using monkeys.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105828
 23.11.2014
3-3.5A is ~700-800W ...The most optimal repair will be replacing ERPA with a new (fresh), but it is crazyly expensive, up to 200 rubles. Easier to download free.
______
And now look at any "packers" in the shields. 6 to 10 nominations. That is, if the normal current at work is 0.36A (at a load of 80 W), then we get that the protector should tear the line at currents of 2.5 - 3.5 A. So everything is normal. Go and learn electricity.
________
Your consciousness is obscured only by the teachings of Master Om. It is incomplete for this case. Because there is an impulse component in this converter. It is not in vain that the Chinese resistor is put, because the current of the trigger when turned on it limits it, does not allow the diodes entering the dark side of the electrical force to leave. If the gungana of this resistor changes the wire, then this gungana is subject to expulsion from the tribe. The diodes on the dark side of the electric force of destruction bring into harmony the converter, the fires ruthless and human sacrifices.
Toughened Words "Packaging" Application. The word this on the light side means only "switch". He does not have a security function.
Teaching the basics of physics, electrics, electronics and repair is your duty, yuni padavan. And also electric safety rules that the blood of the wicked gongs are written on their burial bingo.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №105827
 23.11.2014
insulted
■■■■■■■■■
Let us oblige all drivers to drive at speeds not exceeding 10 km/h.
A person with red flags in front of the car.
CHO is? Do not like? So go to us, with your "walker’s jacket"! Ride at night, observe the city speed regime.
■■■■■■■■■

When the penalty was raised for the unwrapped seat belt, I was squeezed. I’ve been stuck all my life because I know a lot about it.
When I introduced the compulsory ride with my neighbor, I was boasted. I’ve always driven with the light because I can see further, it’s safer.
When you started bowing for xenon and toning... well, you understood.

And when I was obliged to mark myself with catapots at night outside the towns, I just checked that the light-returning vest I had in the emergency set. And clothes for active rest I try to take light and with catfots. And in case I suddenly find myself outside the city at night in a suit or coat, I’ll probably be very happy if I’m taken by the police patrol))).

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105826
 23.11.2014
And again with the same programmer.

1st Moles and kg with a constant composition are directly proportional.

2nd Some Orthodox priests make an oath of unmarriage, and some do not. Guglim "white" and "black" priesthood.

Flickerers were obliged to wear outside the city. If you in the evening dress pulled out of the city - put a flicker bracelet in your bag.

All cats and cats. AW

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105825
 23.11.2014
The "response to":
1>> Help find the clip as described, very needed
The video is sometimes streamed on MTV/MTV Hits. A group of teenagers (girls and boys) came to some island to have fun. One of them plays guitar. One of the girls remembered lying on a palm for a coconut. Please name the track.

2>> "Chongqing"?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105824
 23.11.2014
Why do you live this way?
to this:

> Walking past the underwear store "Love yourself", I thought about the brand of family underwear stores "This cat".
— — —
If you call (or think of calling) your boyfriend/lover/husband “this goat” – I have bad news for you. You are probably a goat.
= is
A man named Homer announced...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105823
 23.11.2014
I took the bribe! It happened in the misery.

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