I’ll see, you’re an optimist!
YYY: Am...?? to
xxx: 2 weeks before the army put "In active search"!

From the Motor Forum:

Yesterday I parked, I put my helmet in the coffin. There is no one around, a man passes by and asks:
Do you manage them yourself?
The first thing that came to my mind:
I brought it under my armpit.)

Controller: "Everything, we’ve got it, there’s 640 kB at all and don’t fuck it".

-------

An infinite number of mathematicians enter the store.
“Give me a kilo of potatoes,” the first mathematician told the seller.
“I’m 0.5 pounds,” the second said. I have 0.25 kg. He asks the third.

I understood, says the seller, and put 2 kg on the shelf. and potatoes.

News headline: "The Mayor of Astrakhan was suspected of 200-million bribery"
It is a pity that in our country are only held on the anniversary order numbers of bribery.

Today I talked to a cunning man named Ashot Adolfovich. Let’s go to Adolfovich!! to
I did that at all ?

Yesterday, in a store, a man asked a two-casset magnetophone to rewrite the cassettes at home. This is the pirate of the 20th century.

The fool who quotes you doesn’t seem like you’re that stupid anymore.

The praporcher:
– Ivanov, why didn’t you attend masking exercises yesterday?
Comrade, who told you I wasn’t there?

The genius of history:

"The history of the Middle Ages.

of Russia. The beginning of the eighteenth century."

I don’t even know what surprises me here more: that somebody had a turbulent time in the eighteenth century, or that for somebody the eighteenth century is the Middle Ages.

by JJ
A few minutes ago, a child on a three-wheeled bike crashed into my sick leg.
and his probably father, trying to catch him so that he does not fall,
Whether it is to pull me away sooner, or is it too late to prevent the clash?
I stumbled, fell, overturned a child with a bicycle and hit my leg with my head!
It was so painful and unexpected.
That my body reacted faster than I could think.
And with a sharp stroke he crossed the unhappy parent in the head.
Wrapped in a plastic bag with a branched sausage, which he held in his right hand.
And, finally, the final: the roaring child jumped to the shaken and trying to get up.
And shouting, “I’ll tell my mom,” he nodded his foot. The Pizzeria.
Two minutes later, they apologized to each other. Except the child.
When the man told him to apologize to his uncle,
The child also insulted me and told me what he would tell his mother.
The fucking shit. Do not walk in the streets. There is dangerous.

My girlfriend gave:
As I heard... And it’s not necessarily what you said.

Zzz: Do you know who Milko is?
XXS: Is it a fictional character?
Zzzz: Are you an Aquinator?! to

Xxx: We shared vaseline... many of us, and the boss was one...

The xxx:
Somehow not very interesting, for the most part, this all can do a regular browser, the same Chrome, for example.
YYYY :
I brought a mistress here. And somehow not very interesting, in a larger way, it all knows how to do my right hand, the same right hand, for example.
The xxx:
Do you suggest that whoever uses the usual search is an onanist?
YYYY :
where my tablet with the inscription "IRONY"
and ZZZ:
Probably in the left hand.

My friend, artist and poet,
The dark grey day of November
On the Red Square for lunch.
To the brushchotter, he touched the nails.
He used to have his mouth shut.
Enjoying the silence.
He was in St. Petersburg.
in the naked corner.
I can close the window.
Not to read such nonsense.
Where to the stone grapples
Artist and poet ?

From the university publication:
xxx: sitting today at a streaming lecture with a friend, choosing a topic for the course, didn't know what to choose, so put a sheet with a statement on the plane, wrote on it "if you are not blue, help us with the course" and started. Sometimes it happened that our aircraft flew through the entire audience from the upper rows and landed right next to the pedestal, which, by the way, is one of the scientific directors on this very course. The winners are simple.

yyy: I want to buy a 10kg armor jersey as a weigher for classes. Go up there, run in it.
Katya says buy it, it’s multifunctional. With him you can swing and as a collector of money in the store to take and in the subway to scare everyone :-)
You can walk with the baby in the evening.

The best gift from a guide to your doctor is not a timely paid salary, but an untimely awarded prize!

About the fun piercing:

Here everything is measured by the number of holes in the body, the diameter of the tunnels in the ears.
And the artist Pavlensky hanged the entire planet to the scrotum!

I really want to look into the eyes of the child who won the III All-Russian competition of children's drawings "The Country Without Danger", when he will receive the main prize from the organizers - T-12K "Maxim III-01" - a brainstorming cardiopulmonary and brain resuscitation training machine with an indication of the correctness of actions...