Mamut: with the appearance of tachaphones more and more often when calling a friend instead of the usual "Allo!" Hear: it..dayout!

From the tape
A stunned passenger helped a drunk driver beat a hoist.

Nirvana is allowed ?

By the way, in vain you rush over the point of "virtuous possession of dirocol" in the resume. Very necessary, it turns out! I would even organize special courses and send my boss there first! The Fuck! Now I am dealing with his sewing of documents to send some to the administration, so he did not accumulate these holes from any side, almost diagonally! And then apparently the usual hole broke or fucked and began to "bite" with a decorative hole. You know those in the form of hearts and multiples! And it would be nothing, but we work in the police and he has been 50 years! The Fuck!
P.S.: And his mom has been parked under the chair a toy tank for the third week. Well, you have to study, because soon the chair of the boss will take!

GenDOS2
The mentions were wiped out, in general, the good guys.

A_AnisimOFF
What is?

GenDOS2
In space, one man dropped VW so that nobody, especially public transportation, can pass. They called the men, they called the evacuator.
Do you think they stopped the car at the parking lot? No is. They put her with the evacuator crane on a huge snowfall and left. Now it is standing on the ground, the people rush.

When I was a child, I was fascinated by photography, but then my mother hid it.

There is nothing better than curling, especially when the Germans play it.
I wake up from the screams (evidently TV) and I don’t understand if the parents turned on the German porn and forgot that the daughter at home...Yah!!!Yah!!!Nain!!!Nain!!!Richtig!!!Rechtig!!!Rechtt!!!Yahaphan!!!Statistics!!!Yah,Yah,Fantastic!!!Yeah...

Curling) Oral captain of the team, commanding those with swabs)

xxx is totally foolish.
YYY : M?
xxx: going to buy an old Icarus and open a route taxi, grit demand will be in the nostalgia...
I would like to ride, I would like to stand in the center =)
XXX: Are you there too?

Technical support letter:
Good day!
In connection with the urgent need, please transform our printer into a scanner.
Thanks in advance!
Collective letter from the marketing department!

Response of Support:
Unfortunately, the last piece of YSKRA was taken with Optimus Prime, so I cannot fulfill your request. In addition, the appearance of decepticons in the office has a bad effect on the business process.

MT: I am a programmer. I would ideally like a compiler to solve this problem for me.

I am a compiler. Ideally, I would like a programmer to solve this problem for me.

MefBezTufel: I am a processor. Guys, what are you talking about?

JustLuckyGuy: I am an electric charge. Stop chasing me here and then I will hit...

I am a tomato...

FinikWasHere: How long has it been with you?and :)

Remember when we were caught in 8th grade when we smoked under the stairs?
Okay, I still have time to dress!

You read the best today:
“Find me, help me!”
What? You are laughing,
Falling in the boots?

Or maybe you laughed.
He cried and cried,
When every disappointment
Was there a desire?

Vasa is looking for a girl.
He met her in the morning.
Leave the child!
You are worshipping! Ura to!

And of course the desire.
Drawing Patchwork
Provoking outbursts
A lifetime breakdown!

As a shit, a shit, a life.
Noun, noun without end!
The whole country is struggling!
Laugh at the rabbit!

Tired of the best.
An annoying shit?
What kind of shit, shit.
Do you press “funny”?! to

From Habr:

AAA: I am a programmer. And I wish, ideally, that the compiler would solve this problem for me.
BBB: I am a compiler. Ideally, I would like a programmer to solve this problem for me.
CCC: I am a processor. Guys, what are you talking about?
DDD: I am an electric charge. Stop chasing me here and then I will hit...
I am a tomato...

XXX: Grey hot as usual.
YYY: What is it?
xxx: They and Max held a scientific conversation yesterday about why young people in Russia drink a lot of beer. They came to the conclusion that because if you drink juice water, a lot of money will go away, and you will drink everything quickly. Lack of time to talk. They assumed that you need to use something difficult to drink.
Then I decided to do an experiment. We went to the supermarket, picked up three bottles of drinking yogurt of different kinds, and baked breads. Then sat down on the bench at the entrance and drank.
YYY: And how then?
XX: Yes, he said, they sat great. Tastefully, and the girls approached, asked, type, is it fashionable now?
YYYY : )
xxx: But, as he says, all this enthusiasm is a fist, compared to the face of the grandmother, who came out of the entrance and managed to get a breath in the lungs, seeing that the youth is drinking beer again. So and passed by, with the air picked up in the chest, a bold step :)))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)

I want to have sex with you.
Is it a hint?? to

Aladdin (22:12:33 24/02/2010)
We have a new game in the mask.

Aladdin (22:12:42 24/02/2010)
It is called "guess if there is a car in this cage".

One group said:
I drove a taxi to pick up a friend’s girlfriend, who was with a girlfriend. He was in the rear seat, his girlfriend was closer to him, well, he was strong, decided to embrace.
Stop touching me!! to
One group (not expecting it from yourself):
You haven't seen my stitch yet, and you're already refusing!
The driver was crying.

I am so happy to live in our country, but I feel like I will not survive.

The parties arrived at the court, where they were met by a pre-retirement judge with universal sadness in the eyes.

Judge Grandma: Do computers and devices belong to you?
Grandma: Yes to me.
Judge: For what purposes do you use the computer, and what information is on the disks and flash cards?
Grandma: Because I am an elderly person and I find it difficult to communicate with my girlfriends offline, we use the Internet to communicate, and I also use the computer to buy various goods, medicines and food via the Internet. On the disks are my personal information and the archives of my family (photos, personal letters, personal accounting), correspondence with social and pension services. If the court needs to read the information, and there will be a corresponding court order, I am ready to disclose the information for the court.
Judge: What browser do you use?
Grandma: Mozilla, as well as AI, because not all websites of the state. The organs see Mozilla
Judge: I agree with you, but I recommend you try the Opera too.
After such a dialogue between the grandmother and the judge, the lawyer respectfully looked at them both.
Judge: What is your education?
Grandmother: There was a higher medical school, but because I was retired for almost twenty years, the diploma was canceled.
Judge: How did the operatives and investigators behave during the search?
Grandmother: Humbly and aggressively.
Judge: Did you try to protest in some way?
Grandma: No, because my family remembers 38 years very well.

The group VKontakte - girls who do not smoke, like cars, do not marry, like shoes, do not drink, like propolis, do not swallow or smell anything and consider this normal. I go in. Participants: Sergey, Dmitry, Sergey and Mikhail

From Irek Murtazin:
Once explained to one grandfather in the village who are gay, the grandfather listened and cried out:
Nietzsche Indie, and BIT BOOK
In translation from Tatar "How it is, there is the same shit..."
*** by
"Nichek inde, and bitt bok..." - the fucking need to learn, half of life situations in this phrase Aksakala