bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77859
 23.02.2013
Here I found. The Olympics in Sochi cost $51 billion. Cheers to comrades!
Here, a space loop that would bring cargo to orbit at $ 3 / kg and with overloads carried even by disabled people would cost $ 30 billion.
In general, what humanity needs and what people who control them need is the same thing.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77858
 23.02.2013
XXX: You don’t understand anything. I go on the bus, I look at a guy nearby driving - acne, unwashed, strangled. He holds a file in his hand. And in the folder a sheet with a 100% screenshot of WOW. We go out at the stop - and here he approaches two girls walking on the street (and there all with them, legs from ears, etc.). He fits and as I realized, he begins to get acquainted. Well, I look at it with a smile, and then he opens the folder and begins to show them something. And I see the passion burning in the girls, the faces start to get red, the nipples swell, they embrace the guy on both sides and take away. I fell at the stop and cried. I realized that my whole life was a lie.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №77857
 23.02.2013
vadim_proskurin@lj: It turns out that croats can compare odor sensations from the left and right nostrils. This mechanism allows the crot at a distance of up to 5 cm to find a stinking snare from a single stinking, without wasting time on several consecutive stinking along the course of movement to the goal. The list of experiments conducted to obtain this scientific result is read almost like a poem. Particularly beautiful such an experiment: in the left nose of the crocodile placed a tube, directed to the right, and in the right nose - a tube, directed to the left. As a result, the crot is completely disoriented.
Zloradskij: Good that they didn’t guess to bring him a tube from his nose to his ass. The poor man would just go crazy.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77856
 23.02.2013
Buy the sausage you took for the new year.
Cyborg: What is it?
It is like salami, but not salami.
The Cyborg:
See also: CLB
Cyborg: I realized that it wasn’t a motocultivator, what about the sausage?? to
It’s almost like salami, but another.
Cyborg: What is it? Price, name, diameter... let me give you some signs.
Lysona: Well round (cylindrical) brown tasty as salami but different
Cyborg: Yes the weather. Does it look like salad or does it taste like salad?
No, it doesn’t look like salad and taste different. She is like a salad.
Cyborg: If you weren’t a ruby sex nurse, I’d tear your teeth out.
Fu, how rough... Did you understand what I meant?
Cyborg: Okay fuck you, we’ll think yes.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77855
 23.02.2013
I am a smoker, I am in favor of the law on the prohibition of smoking in public places, stops, parks, playgrounds, etc. I always smoke on the street I try to stay away from people, I throw bulls into the urna (habit from the army) so explain to me why I am a smoker mixed with shit, respected non-smoking population think before generalizing among non-smoking bulls no less. all

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77854
 23.02.2013
AAA: how it happens, only yesterday I thought that we could change the mailboxes, and the shake passed, new ones are hanging.
BBB: Sobian Hule
I am also standing in a traffic jams - I think "when there is only a bus lane still lacking"
The next day, the bus line!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77853
 23.02.2013
The router. Commentary on the audio book by Umberto Eco in English.
XXX: The audio version did not appear in the original?
YYY: And that is what? Not the original? Strange as in English! =) is
Zzz: Not everything in English is original. For example, Italians write in Italian.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №77852
 23.02.2013
I can congratulate you on the holiday ;)
The Defender of the Fatherland?
Why half a half? Did not serve?
by Denis: AGA
Lisa: Well with the future then))
Denis: A spouse, a woman!!by 111

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №77851
 23.02.2013
XXX: Yes at all
When we teach mathematics - all the way, first you can't, then you can't, you can't - and then you can again.
xxx: It is not surprising that people then start to use drugs and engage in same-sex sex - they think that it will soon be possible too - this is the detrimental impact of a misconstructed education program.
xxx: and so would immediately from the first class - trigonometric form of the complex number - figac
Well, by fifth grade and apples would count learned.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77850
 23.02.2013
February 23 is not the clever moment when you (who got rid of the army) get a chocolate from your grandmother (who is a reserve officer).

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №77849
 23.02.2013
My 5-year-old daughter came back from the walk unhappy.
There was a dialogue:
I: What has happened?
I hated children since childhood.
I : Why?
Their daughters prevent them from riding on the hill because they are riding on their own. They ask for sandals.
Don’t go and ride yourself.
There are still mothers of children. I do not like them either.
I : why?? to
Daughters: They are giving birth to children. When they stop, you don’t ride on the hill.

[ + 43 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77848
 23.02.2013
To all who received on February 23 as a gift - foam, shave, socks, helicopters, etc. I was jealous, my wife gave me a daughter.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77847
 23.02.2013
Alexandr Rozhkov: Listen to Nick. Can you use it as a woman? Here answer my question. gifted a girlfriend for the 23rd, beautiful, white (Milava)
I even guessed the size. I went through fire, water, copper pipes and even talked to the saleswoman.! to
She was offended!! For what?
He told me to throw it out. I filled it with gasoline, set it on fire and threw it out. It was beautiful, infection. I even had the desire to guess.
I was struck and expelled. For what???? to
Where is meaning? Where is logic? and ((

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №77846
 23.02.2013
When you put corn in a fruit salad, you get a hunk.
Yyy: and if you add more lean oil, there will be a hunky on lean oil.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №77845
 23.02.2013
Arthem
I cannot not talk about her.
I love her)

Denis
The Clay)

Arthem
I feel like an alert when a mass of 100 objects is transmitted to him.
I am overwhelmed by [Object Object]

Denis
Gentleman
This is the sweetest thing I’ve heard in my life.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №77844
 23.02.2013
The Knight Jedi
The girls covered the grass and gave us cups.
The Knight Jedi
The circles are ugarny.
The Knight Jedi
The Black Circle
The Knight Jedi
You pour hot water, it becomes white, and there is your rose.
The Knight Jedi
Well, here, of course, I was distinguished by my fucking humor.
The Knight Jedi
We listened to the company’s congratulations and
The director says: "Now you will not confuse the circles".
And then such a silence was born, in which I say quietly: "And here is this uncomfortable moment, when you drink coffee, and on the cup in your hand appears the roar of Denis... and on his cup - the roar of Salt... "
The Knight Jedi
Gogot of the crowd. All the pieces are in one closet. We made them all there - a crowd of the same circles (15 pieces). On Monday there will be a game "the lucky man" - who will hit his circle.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77843
 23.02.2013
>...They gave a map and asked the brighter to circumnavigate the contours of the Vladimir region. So I decided to catch the pieces of Ivanovskaya and Nizhny Novgorod region! I never felt so omnipotent!

Yes okay. When we studied at school in Soviet times, we had one twin, painting on the contour map of the country of the socialist bloc (yes, our twin even did lessons), got caught up and also painted Japan to the territory of the USSR. Unfortunately, the Japanese did not see it.
What is there, in fact, like this? The country was huge, some Japan was bigger, some Japan was smaller... At such a size it was insignificant, one could ignore it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77842
 23.02.2013
I walk on the sidewalk today, a guy is going in front of me. Passing by a slide lying on the asphalt, it pins it once, and then passes by.
I approach the slope, pin, and then I pass by.
After a short period of time, I hear a blow on my back...

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77841
 23.02.2013
Very good tea, Ceylon tea.
No to Boston.
He did not talk to me anymore.)

Explain, for the sake of the holy...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77840
 23.02.2013
Chelyabinsk is really tough! When I broke out of work on February 15 (going through the ruins of the collapsed ceiling), took my daughter from the d/sadiq and flew to the 5th floor to rescue my husband, who remained b/telephone, I was met with a sincere surprise - it turns out that my husband decided that the boys had exploded something on the street! And at the employee, the father thought that Salmash (the fireworks factory) started extraordinary tests! We live in Chelyabinsk!


The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna