bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138971
 19.02.2017
As soon as a woman has an offgenic breast, the stomach is pulled up.
As soon as she gets an attractive appearance, that’s all.
She doesn’t need you anymore and you won’t see her anymore.
You only have to talk to the ugly.
XXX Plastic Surgeon

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138970
 19.02.2017
"Child of the Year"

Here’s a straight bueyeee... no, bueyeee, it’s just turning around. go to the mother-ovulatory forum with your year-old, in a decent society this is called a year-old child.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138969
 19.02.2017
What if they knew!by :

The post of Russia trolls either itself or people. Established Post-Bank, but not accepting card payments. at all. Even a post bank card.

The postal bank has the same relationship to the Russian Post as Donald Dac has with Pablo Escobar. This is the Summer Bank in sheep skin, shorter, and dumb rents two squares at the post office. Pensioners are unfortunately

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №138968
 19.02.2017
Tagged with: win_vs_nix

Could you say here an ordinary aunt who walks around our planet to the fig and more? You can, yeah? For me, the computer is a tool. I need it to get information, to work with texts and photographs, and to play single toys like Civilization or Cherubim. Maybe the movie sometimes see how the mood will be. I don’t want anything more from this technique. Well, I can manually identify several errors from BSOD and understand what to do next, independently assemble my computer / replace something from the inside and put the OS, but persistently and, as they say, fully immersed in the settings of this OS - let go. It works quickly and glucose-free – well, it’s great, let it work as long as possible. Therefore, your shit sometimes reminds me of the mocking of stubborn children under the shout of "I am a fool and even more stupid!" Sorry if I offended anyone.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138967
 19.02.2017
Commentary from Picaboo
xxxxxxxxxxx:
My cat finds any unnecessary closed door in the house and stands by her until you get up from the bed and open it, and if there is no door, she will ask you to open the door into the underground.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138966
 19.02.2017
The fearful is not the one who understands and understands under "Ghbdtn", but the one who understands under "U,lny" - "Ghbdtn".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138965
 19.02.2017
The queen sleeps with the maids.
There is no queen, there are no princesses, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138964
 19.02.2017
(About an excessively annoying caregiver.)
Neradence: Yes, my strength is no longer. Can I give him a mirror?
Mother: To admire him in him like a puppy? Surely he will not be before you, he will be finely occupied with himself.
Neradence: You know, I really wanted him to look at himself carefully, but I like your option even more...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138963
 19.02.2017
With #Haber:
Jmann 13 February 2017 at 10:01
Three times in a row I gave my favorite homemade blinking hearts (one repeated and a little reworked. Author Igor from the site chipenable ), then on March 8, then on February 14. In the end, she married my husband.

czA 13 February 2017 at 11:51
I wanted to do it, but now I’ll think about it) thank you guys!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138962
 19.02.2017
I’m telling a story about the 90s:
- He went somehow in business, everything was proper, took Xusha with him...
One lady asks:
Is it Oksana or Xenia?
This is Axis.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138961
 19.02.2017
What could be better than mutual love, a healthy lifestyle and a happy future?
Maybe only prostitutes, bullshit and drugs, and a motorcycle.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138960
 19.02.2017
xxx: Vodka, cream and condensate are mixed, then mixed in a blender and left for 15-20 minutes. During this time, the mixture is infused, and it can be poured into a glass.

Wait for 20 minutes? Who will endure this?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138959
 19.02.2017
Trying to lose weight in the ass, running is stupid. Because you can’t escape from a thick ass anyway, it’s always with you, it’s always behind you.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138958
 19.02.2017
This is snobism pop!

I am a 3.11. But the more I see the window and the more I look at the user, the stronger my longing for the times when having a compass meant the necessity of intelligence, the ability to read manuals and THINK.

The computer is a tool. Someone is conditionally striking their nails, and someone is building the Mars ships. Let us now forcibly teach people the ability to build Mars ships, when they have not given up on anything except to nail. And if they do not want, then they can also nail them to ban what they intend.
To me, as a programmer, it is unlikely that someone uses a powerful machine exclusively for the "contact". I don’t mind when the car is so clever that I can’t just sit down and run and not adjust the working environment for hours or even days. They made it easier for me, so they made it easier for me too. Like "macodov," I can just open the terminal on any mac, just install sublime or atom, just scratch in the chrome console, and just run the server from the command line. Through the thorns to the stars – great, but why are these thorns singing as an end in itself? Do you have to go or go?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138957
 19.02.2017
Yesterday I sat at the dentist, a doctor from the neighboring office came in and laughed and cried. He tells me that he drills a tooth to a man, and he closes his mouth and begins to scratch. It turns out he just fell asleep. The man told me how he got to life like this. They had two sons, well, they really wanted a daughter, decided and gave birth to a twin, boys, now he has four sons two jobs and the body instantly falls asleep, if he takes a horizontal position and the body is upset, what they do with him, jump, kick and the sound of the drill machine is not so disgusting. The doctor put the seal on him, although the patient was already sitting.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №138956
 19.02.2017
Lesya: I'll share... yesterday evening I mixed the paste on the biscuit for my husband's name cake, the daughter turns around, I got the vinegar, Tase says: "It's a terrible poison." The daughter rounded her eyes and ran quietly to her father. And he already tells him: "Mom added poison to your cake"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138955
 19.02.2017
Ha, don’t believe that the doctor can be frightened by the road to the morgue...for them this is quite an ordinary place of lectures, classes, work, and no dark thoughts, like a homeric hoax, does not cause...but here my husband has been travelling, probably, since the year when he came before me and saw a note on the table – “I’m in the morgue.” Then I learned to call there without trembling in the voice. Then he went in. Well, I worked there to do something.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138954
 19.02.2017
My husband, when I was leaving, just sent me a photo of the space being explored, on it I surrounded the claiming thing, which "there is no her there, I watched." And I still, being in the visits of my parents, I get into Daddy's reality and not notice the things that the mother discovers with a self-satisfied look.

[ + 12 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138953
 19.02.2017
Envy and hatred arise from one’s own nothingness.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138952
 19.02.2017
I will tell you about childhood memory. Childhood is school time. I spent this wonderful time in the north of the Baikal. There is a small village near my heart. And there was in that village, in my opinion, the ONLY representative of the militia - Ivan Perfilyevich. Statue of Statue of Statue. Here, to God, there was no more police station. He alone, in all his appearance, even simply instigated respect for order. And in the area of his site was the settlement of the Events. All the guys are good, but how they drink is trouble. unstable in this case. They disappeared for six months in the taiga, mining sable. In Soviet times, a good sable was in the price of the car "Zaporožec". When they were earning after the season - the hunters were all excellent, the head went around from the sum of even stronger people. And in the friends-evens, obviously, began to wash this matter. After a couple or three drinks, the rifle was simply displayed in any direction from the window and shot in the light of God as in a pipe. In response, he immediately flew. Within a few minutes, the whole village turned into a theater of war. None of the residents have been injured all the time. Imagine what happened at that time in the village. After some time, the secretary of the council reached the phone and called not in the council or the district department of the militia, but simply home to Ivan Perfilyevich. He sat on the motorcycle "Ural" and moved to the place of "fighting". The distance was only 18 km. Time to get there, half an hour. When the news that Ivan Perfilievich was going to the village was delivered to the fighters, they stopped all combat activities and hid in the surrounding taiga. And only the next morning, trembling and calm returned. This is how only one name Ivan Perfilyevich acted. His memory and respect. This is how not mentions, but police officers should work. A simple chief, andined order throughout the district.

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