The Western Bicycles. A resident of a German town (20 thousand inhabitants) last year told me in secret - why they cling big. It turns out, the Germans have this type of belief: as soon as the Russians or Poles appear in the city - climb big, do not leave things in the basket and start using unnecessary previously car signaling. Yes, it was a shame to hear this, but the truth is nowhere to go - for the second month of our group's stay there was a TV, a bunch of auto parts and a car from a supermarket. And the Poles often wandered home, having in the trunk four pieces of stock - different firms and calibers. Well, in major cities, the role of such a thief’s scare is performed by Arabs, Turks and, strangely enough, Gypsies :)

16 year old son, looking for a job in advertising, ask for work experience.
- Ownership of office glue at a professional level, knowledge of standard entry codes and good physical health to escape from a grateful audience? and :)

Lav: Fourteen times the customer returns the layout with the indication of defects.
Lav: I quote his comment about the final option: “Do what you want, just get rid of me!”

We go out with a friend on the street (after a week around zero -15), there is a dialogue
The warmest things are made of fur.
I: Well, millions of years of evolution and all that, if artificial things were warmer, nature would have thought about it before.
A synthetic rabbit?

I had one fellow at the institute. An ordinary guy, 19 years old, a future operator, not ugly at all, with a sense of humor, with ambitions. Once he started complaining about my life, the keywords are the same: girls, friends, good, don’t give, alpha. I tried to notice him as tactically as possible, that, say, it would be good to stop the nails to bite, start to wash every day, use a deodorant, brush your teeth more often, revise the closet in part. Arguments to the fact that the manicure is therapeutic and nobody makes it paint, black spots can only be removed from a cosmetologist, and to lubricate your hands with a hand cream is normal, caused hysteria. The final phrase was "And in general, the main thing is that I am kind and caring, the appearance is not important at all".
This is all I need... boys, if you want girls to fall in love with you, then start watching for yourself. In everything, starting with the smell from the mouth and from the ankles and ending with walking and posture.

A good deed is not a pity:
Belarusian chat, discussing news about the limit of 120 euros will not be cancelled.
xxx: Hi people, who knows if there are any stickers that are well visible on the X-rays?
YYY: Why are you?
I went to a friend in another city. I want to send myself a letter, and inside the "postcard" with the inscription, "Customs d@vn0", so that the X-ray scanner is visible. and send it.


Man, tell them to cut off the inscription from the foil. It will be 146%.

From one news site:

The baby’s chair, according to Spanish scientists, is a unique source of probiotics that enhance gut health. In this regard, experts believe that sausages containing extracts from baby stools can become a healthy food and another way to get "beneficial bacteria". It’s up to us to choose: do you eat a sausage containing bacteria from a child’s gut or not?

Do they want to teach us to eat shit?

XXX: What I eat and buy a vacuum cleaner
My wife went on a business trip.

Tagged: emmmm
Do you want to clean up with his help?

Distant descendants of the Middle Ages with fortresses made of couch pillows and blankets!

Have you tried for weeks to live in a shiffler, sleep on bags with winter clothes, hide your mom’s shirt and paint the walls of the closet with rock painting? An unforgettable impression! This is what I say to you, medieval knights, like your distant ancestor from the Stone Age.

I went to a bookstore with my girlfriend to buy a book for her 2.5 year old child. We stand, we choose in the children’s department, and here... Among all these "Repok", "Gusi Gushi Gaga" and "Three pigs" stands... "Hyperbolloid engineer Garin".
I took, checked - the cover corresponds to the content.
The cruel Russian children.

He worked as a speaker on a feast. A lot of new acquaintances. One, knowing that I am also an admin, breaks into a face in the social network. To summarize, the dialogue is like this:
J is Hi. Do you have a wind? Give the disc.
I: Yes, give me a bucket, I will write. I will not give the disc.
Further boring clarification, which screw he needed, as a result, it turned out that note 2 and need HR and 7.
Give me two discs. I will record. Call 8X for a meeting place.
A: I broke the phone. Let’s go there tomorrow and so much.
I: I can’t, and I can go lazy. Call anybody.
A: There is no phone. How do we meet?
I: Bring two clean new DVDs there (one of the points I serve) and give it to the girls.
The girls give 2 discs in a envelope. I get the discs and... They’re fucked in the hole. Scratched, crushed, with scales, with a partially layered carrier layer, in fat, one cracks on the entire radius, and traces of recording are visible on all. A new correspondence:
I: What did you bring me? I asked for new ones.
I had no money for new ones. I found unnecessary, they are not even read on the note, it was a pity to throw out, here they brought.
I: I can't write on them, bring two new discs.
After a while I come, the girls give me 1 bulb with a note "Save 2 pieces on one disk, the second didn’t have enough money. I would like to return the two discs".

We’ll have this for dinner, so what about her? A big fucking hair. (for the ananas)
Anya: Zhen, you forgive me, of course, but I don’t see a big hairy shit in the apartment besides you.

Oh you, friends... notebooks with tasks are tossed to them, they shoot with blinking eyes, and they don’t want to meet? So there is a fellow student who can solve the tasks for you, and the program will help to fix it. Alone, without a man. Fouu, blue shirt, eyes are not deceived, socks are not up-to-date (in winter). No, with such a meeting, friends will laugh. There’s another one, with eyes and socks...and she’s fat! Not 50 kg, but 60 kg. It does not eat, on such only together with the friends roast (the underdog looking at the lush breasts). If you come, your friends will laugh. Here are 10 people in the friend zone at "State Beauty of the Stream". And she also will never meet any of you, sick, because her friends, like the "statue of beauty," will laugh. As a result, everyone suffers. Be strong men not to fear the ridicule of friends and generous to forgive girls imaginary imperfections.

This is:
This is what you need to be an idiot to call the special operation "Bumerang".

You are stupid idiots. A bumerang is a weapon that hits a target when thrown. In case of failure, it is returned to the hands in integrity and preservation. Hands are also safe.

About the Friend.

You read here you and immediately see that part of the truth is that the brain of men is not in the head, there is. Here, after all, there is a variety, someone has a member in favour, someone has a ass. But it is probably who is closer to the orientation.
Probably, I will uncover a big secret, judging by the confusion of the reporter, but, with rare exceptions, the girls do not sleep with everyone in a row. And if you have quite friendly relationships, then friendly sex is not necessarily prescribed in them. You, too, don’t want to have good physical closeness with all the people in a row? And what you are rejected, it happens in life, believe me.

But if it is hinted that you smell like a fox, then you need to wash more often, in any case.

It is right, Ivan. The main thing is to stand firmly on the position "There is one right opinion, and it is mine". Stay on objectivity. Life shows that people will agree with you, the main thing is not to retreat a millimeter. Example for the hardness of position.
We have a grandmother in our group. Not a boss, not a merited senior comrade. He knows best in all areas. He speaks rude. Openly indignant: "Damn, again she/he disputes!" regardless of the significance of the argument.
Her birthday happened. Everyone so formally congratulated, the cake refused under various pretexts. She was attacked by melancholy. He stood in a cigarette and filled up with a compliment. Life has gone in vain, I am stupid, I am old, nobody loves me, no new dress goes.
No one argued with her. I got my own. You will get it, Van.

Forever in the Friend Zone:

A boy girl, bisexual, child-free, knows how to cook if you give out products, listen to dsbm, loves cats... NONE. never ever. Not by Fredson. Sitting alone with the cats. Absolutely alone. The fuck knows what the problem is. It seems that both boys and girls are suitable for her, like her parameters are almost model (179 height, 52 weights), hysterical does not please, she does not suffer from jealousy, but here... She sits.

Comrades of friends, you would at least hang the identification signs on yourself...

I once had one that was just a friend to all the girls, and until I was twenty with a virgin over. After three years of perfectly wonderful relationship, he turned to another, again in the friendzone. I feel very sorry for you and would love to comfort someone. I’m just afraid that you’re more pleasant to walk the tail for a girl who wildly blows money into cosmetics and you’re absolutely not interested in living and fucking with a girl in jeans and a maike who is very happy to discuss women’s ass with you. No is?

You explained something that has long been in my subconscious mind.
My parents were difficult for me. I am younger, I am younger. Blurred irritable mom, and very complicated by character dad. Mother often licked and threw them out of the house, shouting, “Cleanse, we don’t need you!” Dad humbled verbally, repeating constantly: "You are the worst of all!", and when I went to the 1st class, for keeping the notebook not so, I was a re-learned leftist, several times led to the prison.
My childhood was very boring. I always wanted to leave my parents, but I have lived with them all my life. My father is no longer there, and my mother is sure that all her harassment of me is the fruit of my childhood fantasy. But where does a child get such a perverted imagination? I have a blob in the hallway that I was trying to cling to when my mother pushed me out of the door, and I remember very well how the belt hurts.

I love your children, you don’t have to give them away and beat them. Most often they do not deserve it. And, if they are very annoying to you right now, think, maybe the reason is not in them.
I was always surprised that everyone I met wanted to marry me. Then I understood – it’s because I’m very restrained and silent, and I never make any complaints, I beat it out as a child. And also, before the birth of children, I often thought about suicide and once I almost reached the end, only prevented that suddenly the circumstances changed dramatically.

from Habrum -
In this post, I want to break the myth that food can be either fast and convenient or edible. It is no secret that many of us have to work 12 hours a day, which does not contribute to the culinary feats involving 28 spices and feathers from the dragon's tail, washed with the tears of the unicorn.

After the group shower, Lucia, by habit, turned to the wall, cried, but who to say "You don't love me!" did not know.